[Copypasta] Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination? Don Lemon: Yeah. Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when you’re β€” n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were β€” there’s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Cattarrian warns Pupparrian

twitchquotes: "Welcome to your new home,” says the Kripp as he carries the Pupparrian in his bony arms. The puppy leaps from his uncomfortable position onto the ground and begins to run around. Soon, he grows tired and goes to bed. That night, a ghostly cat visits the Pupparrian in his sleep. β€œFlee,” warns the Cattarrian, β€œThe Kripp plans on eating you, as he once ate me.”
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Artifact is a timeless classic

twitchquotes: Valve's done it again! Another timeless classic that puts its competition to shame. Make no mistake, Artifact will become king of its genre, and Hearthstone and MTG will become relics of the past. When my wife's boyfriend showed me this game I knew it would be worth my time.
twitch chat
January 2019

Hearthstone

Artifact

Yuno Gasai

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–β–€β–Œβ–€β–Œβ–„β–’β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–β–β–’β–β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–„β– β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–β–‘β–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–‘β–β–’β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–€β–„ β–€β–„β–€β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–€β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–’β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–’β–Œβ–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–β–€β–„β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–β–’β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–’β–β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–β–’β–‘β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–„β–€β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–€β–„β–Œβ–‘β–β–’β–’
September 2018

Weebs

Happy poop

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣡⣢⣬⣉⑻⠿⠿Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⒑⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿⠿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‹β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β „β ™β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£ˆβ ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣇Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⑄Ⓙ⣿ β£Ώβ Ÿβ£‹β£ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Έβ£Ώ ⒁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠘Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ β£·β£¦β£™β ›β Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ÿβ’›β£›β£›β‘›β »β Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ Ÿβ’›β£‘β£Ύ
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing