[Copypasta] Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination? Don Lemon: Yeah. Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when you’re — n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were — there’s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?
July 2021
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4Head

⣿⣿⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⠇⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢀⡖⣻⣿⣶⣤⣀⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡇⢠⣿⠏⢁⣀⣀⢨⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣩⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣧⢀⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⣿⣿ ⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢠⡽⢻ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣷⣾ ⢻⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣇⣀⠄⠉⠉⠄⣀⣈⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣸⡆⢸⣿⡟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⣃⠈⣿⣷⣿⡿⠛⢛⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣟⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⠄⠹⣿⣿⣷⣄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

The One Who Brings Salt

twitchquotes: Tells the legend that a long time ago all sea's water was fresh. But one tragic day a baby came out of the sea and was found by a group of african sea men. One week later, after the little baby saw the sea men play Hearth of Stone all the water turned salty. So they named him Kripp, which in Afrikaans means The One Who Brings Salt
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021

Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m

twitchquotes: hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
twitch chat
April 2015

Classic

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