[Copypasta] Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination? Don Lemon: Yeah. Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when you’re — n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were — there’s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?
July 2021
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More Copypastas

I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car

So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off. She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left. I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out. He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream. I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump. I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur. Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
May 2022

You are NOT a closer

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
August 2021
ludwig

Super Smash Bros

Taking my QT's Jhin shots for a walk

twitchquotes: -( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲___[Miss][Miss][Miss] Don't mind me just taking my QT's Jhin shots for a walk
twitch chat
May 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🤬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 🤔 and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? 😂😂😂. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up 🙄🙄🙄 But then the worse part😑 every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS 😆 but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention 😯😅🤣 The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Forsen's face

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⢡⣾⣻⣿⣿⣿⡅⠈⢾⢧⣫⠄⣡⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠸⣿⠏⢿⠋⢱⠄⠐⡏⡞⠣⠻⣿⢣⢛⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⣔⢯⣅⠉⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠁⠄⢛⣡⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣠⠿⠦⠿⠉⢀⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠈⢻⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⢇⡴⠂⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⣈⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠇⠝⠃⣴⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⠄⡀⣼⡿⠋⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢀⣀⣠⣤⣉⠁⠈⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣇⢰⢳⣿⣥⣾⡿⠛⢛⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣛⡻⢿⣷⣄⢷⠄⠄⠄ ⠐⣇⡾⣾⣿⣿⣿⠰⠟⠭⠹⢷⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠴⠟⠍⢹⠆⣻⣿⣼⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⠻⢭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣛⣛⣛⠻⠿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⠟⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣏⣉⣉⣿⣿⣁⣨⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠈⠛⠛⢿⡟⠓⠄⠉⠙⠓⠮⣽⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣭⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠺⣧⣄⡀⢯⣩⡅⣶⣒⣤⣩⡍⣽⡠⠂⣼⡀⣸⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠄⡇⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣤⣾⡿⠄⢻
September 2019
Forsen
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