[Copypasta] Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
August 2021

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
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Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

Just a feller out on the farm

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β »β‘Ώβ ›β ›β ›β ›β »β’Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑄⑇⠀⠀ KKona β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣢⣷⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⠀⣠⣀⒀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ β’°β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ›β ›β ›β ›β »β£Ώβ£·β €β € β£Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ›β ›β ›β »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ‘·β € ⠻Ⓙ⣿⑏⠀⠀⣢⠀⠀Ⓕ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣀ ⠀⠀Ⓓ⣷⑀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣿⣿⣉⑉⠉⠉⠉⠉⒙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣼⣿⠛⠓ β €β ˆβ ›β ›β ›β “β ’β šβ ›β ›β ›β ›β ›β ‹β ™β ›β ›β ›β ›β Ÿβ Ώβ ·β Άβ Άβ Ύβ Ώβ’Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώ Don't mind me, just a feller out on the farm.
March 2019

Classic

Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’DIDDLYβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’SPAMLYβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’DOODLYβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–„β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–€β–„β–β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–
September 2016

Classic

bbz will u luv me 4evr

gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode. she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr" he said "NO.." ... da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine. boy was cryin and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr) xxx~*...LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVRY TIME...~*xxx
March 2021

Classic

This endeavor of knowledge 5Head

twitchquotes: 5Head 🍷 Ah yes, I can feel my head throbbing with knowledge and wisdom as I sip upon this Sauvignon blanc. Come chatroom, who will join me in this endeavor of knowledge 5Head 🍷
twitch chat
September 2019

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Text-to-Speech Playing