[Copypasta] I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021
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August 2018

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

I am Pakistan

twitchquotes: ยดellu oddone. i am pakistan. i spek not so very best englend sorry. i like watch you pley. you bestest jungler in laegue of legend. i want become yuo pls tech me to pley . i want become bester pleyer pls oddone tech me
twitch chat
July 2014
TheOddOne

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 7)

After we threw Liam out the window, I decided to call another emergency meeting. โ€œChad sus!1!1!!1 Heโ€™s the SUSSY VERY IMPOSTER!โ€ I said. They all asked why Chad was sus. I said it was because his name is Chad. They all agreed so we ejected him. I was naruto running around the office when Adam stopped me and said โ€œWhy are you running?โ€ OH MY FUCK DID HE JUST SAY THE FUNNY UGANDAN MEME? SPIT ON HIM BROTHERS. I spit on Adam and I pulled down my pants and pissed on him. He ran away screaming and everybody looked at me. I pulled my pants up.โ€œ Adam sus. Heโ€™s screaming.โ€ Everyone nodded and we ejected Adam. My son came out of the elevator even though it was take your kid to work day and he was supposed to be on the bottom floor, not up here on the 3rd floor! So I said โ€œSon, what the fuck nugget wholesome keanu reeves are you doing here?โ€ He closed the elevator door and I think he went to the first floor. I tried pissing on the elevator door in hopes that it would malfunction it but I donโ€™t think it worked. That stupid little bastard. So I got in the elevator when it came back up and went to the first floor. I looked around but couldnโ€™t find him. I pulled one of the kids up by her shirt and said โ€œWHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD?โ€ She was screaming and I threw her away. I stomped down the hallways trying to look for him but I couldnโ€™t find him. โ€œThis is not a fortnite minecraft roblox 100 wholesome keanu reeves chungus Amogus moment. Thatโ€™s pretty sus.โ€ All the coworkers were looking at me in terror. I went out back and searched in the dumpster to see if I could yet again try to find a weapon to kill all the people there. I already got rid of Chad, Adam and Liam so everyone else could easily be disposed of.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Hey Sing_sing why did you say you can't kick allies when Envy kicked you from Cloud9

twitchquotes: ๏ผจ๏ผฅ๏ผนใ€€๏ผณ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง๏ผฟ๏ผณ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผงใ€€๏ผท๏ผจ๏ผนใ€€๏ผค๏ผฉ๏ผคใ€€๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผตใ€€๏ผณ๏ผก๏ผนใ€€๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผตใ€€๏ผฃ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผดใ€€๏ผซ๏ผฉ๏ผฃ๏ผซใ€€๏ผก๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผฅ๏ผณใ€€๏ผท๏ผจ๏ผฅ๏ผฎใ€€๏ผฅ๏ผฎ๏ผถ๏ผนใ€€๏ผซ๏ผฉ๏ผฃ๏ผซ๏ผฅ๏ผคใ€€๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผตใ€€๏ผฆ๏ผฒ๏ผฏ๏ผญใ€€๏ผฃ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผค๏ผ™
twitch chat
May 2015
SingSing
Text-to-Speech Playing