[Copypasta] I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey subs, thanks for paying for my free entertainment

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎHey subs, thanks for paying for my free entertainment ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
May 2017

plebs vs subs

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. Iโ€™m so distressed right now I donโ€™t know what to do. I didnโ€™t mean to do that to Rudy but Iโ€™m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like Iโ€™m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This canโ€™t be happening. Iโ€™m having a fucking breakdown. I donโ€™t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Betterโ„ข. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasnโ€™t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

HITLER

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing