[Copypasta] I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

Pog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠹⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣻⣿ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⡟⠛ ⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀ ⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠿⢿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⢿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣻⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed (Shakespearean English)

Dost thou ponder if yoshi's constitution becomes discombobulated whence eggs are excreted afore Mario's gaze? My sincere apologies if thy bristles were tussled, however I believe this to be quite amusing. And, I am curious to perview a charcoal etching of this event, if only for a rousing chuckle. I'm also perplexed whence trying to place what eldritch odor would arise. This is only for a gaff, a ruse, merriment per se, I would like to smell them.
April 2021

3-eyed face

░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▓▓▓▄▄▄░░░░░ ░░░░▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▄░░░ ░░▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀█▄░ ░▓▓▌▓▓▓░░▒▒▒▒▀(◐)▒▒▒▒▒█▓ ░▓▓▌▓▓░▒▒▓(◐)▓░░░▒▓▓(◐)█▓ ▓▓▌▓▓█▄█▀▄▄░▀░▀▄▄▀░░█░█ ▓▓▌▓▓▀▄█▄█░█▀▄▄▄▄▄▀██░█ ░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███▄█▄█▄███░░█ ░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███████████░░█ ░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███████████░░█ ░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███████████░░█ ░▓▓▌▓▓░▀▀█░█▀█▀█▀███░█ ░░▓▓▌▓▓░░░▀▀▄█▄█▄█▄▀░█ ░░▓▓▌▓▓▓▓▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀
November 2014

hafu you keep calling your boyfriend dog

twitchquotes: hey hafu i saw that u keep calling your boyfriend "dog". as a new viewer this is kinda off putting and gives the vibe that u hate men. is it possible to call him david instead
twitch chat
June 2019
Hafu
Text-to-Speech Playing