[Copypasta] I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Only the chosen one can stack these cans!

twitchquotes: DrinkPurple Only the chosen one can stack these cans! PogChamp DrinkPurple but wait PogChamp can you do three cans! PogChamp PogChamp !! DrinkPurple
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Robin is NOT low tier

twitchquotes: Robin is NOT low tier. That's a ridiculous claim and you know it. Game and watch. Kirby. Jigglypuff. Hell, even Mario is shorter than Robin. Say what you want about Robin, but do NOT call my girl "low".
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Mr Qtpie apepars to be a boosted bonobo

twitchquotes: monkaS ☝️ I-I hate to point this out mr qtpie b-but you appear to be a boosted bonobo monkaS 👉
twitch chat
February 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

PepeRip

⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠹⠟⣡⣶⡿⢟⣛⣛⡻⢿⣦⣩⣤⣤⣤⣬⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢮⡃⣛⣛⡻⠿⢿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢡⣴⣯⣿⣿⣿⣉⠤⣤⣭⣶⣶⣶⣮⣔⡈⠛⠛⠛⢓⠦⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠏⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡪⢛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡭⠴⣶⣶⣽⣽⣛⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⣛⢛⡛⢋⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠱⣿⣿⣛⠾⣭⣛⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠑⠽⡻⢿⣿⣮⣽⣷⣶⣯⣽⣳⠮⣽⣟⣲⠯⢭⣿⣛⣛⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⠑⠊⠉⠟⣻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣭⣿⣛⠷⠶⠶⠂⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠙⠒⠙⠯⠍⠙⢉⣉⣡⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2019

Pepe

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

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