God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
Seraphine is real. I donβt care what you want to say
twitchquotes:
Seraphine is real. I donβt care what you want to say. Seraphine isnβt βimaginary.β She posts real tweets, feels real emotions, makes real music... All you trolls are MALDING because she doesnβt reply to your tweet comments probably. Not me though.. I have full faith in her.
Thatβs why she replied to me a couple days ago when I congratulated her.. she literally replied? And said thanks??
twitch chat
League of Legends
Ban one MingLee, get the whole dynasty
twitchquotes:
Ban One Lee And You Get The Whole Dynasty
Ban One Lee And You Get The Whole Dynasty
twitch chat
MODS
Ban X Get The Whole Y
Joker
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Only three more COVID variants until Sigma
MASKS UPπ· AND TITS OUTπ―ππONLY THREE MORE COVIDπ¦ VARIANTSπ€€UNTIL SIGMA ΣΣπ© You know what that means you π
±OOSTEDπSLUTSπ
π Itβs time to get on that COVID Grindsetβ’ before you get π€―infectedπππby the SUPERIORπ€variantβΌβΌ The sixth 6οΈβ£waveππ is CUMMINGπ¦π¦ππ
±eta males at the bottomππof the coronaπΊsexualπ₯΅ hierarchy π should β prepare to get FUCKEDππthis timeβ by the extraπlargeπ€ͺspikeπprotein mutationβ’π€€π« Send this to 1οΈβ£9οΈβ£ of your most IMMUNOβCOMPROMISEDπ«π¨π¨ friendsπ©otherwiseπ³there will beπ another VERY longππLOCKπDOWNπβΌβΌ