[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Keep it, you need it more with all that salt

twitchquotes: `So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

BBoomer

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣙⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘ β‘€β ¨β£±β’΄β‘’β šβ ‰β’β£‰β£ƒβ‘‘β Šβ „β ‡β „β£žβ£›β£Άβ‘‚β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠒β£ͺβ’·β ―β£Ώβ’—β ‡β „β „β „β β ’β ’β „β „β ˆβ ˜β ³β’Ÿβ£½β β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’‰β’ β ·β šβ ₯β Šβ „β „β „β£€β£β£€β£€β „β „β ‘β ’β „β „β ˜β †β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β ™β‘β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β β’€β‘€β ˆβ ‰β ’β ’β ’β ’β ’β ²β’Έβ „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’°β ƒβ „β „β „β „β €β ”β ’β ‰β ‰β ˆβ ‰β “β ’β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘žβ „β „β „β‘€β’€β£ β£„β£€β£ β’„β „β „β’ β‘ β €β£€β‘€β ΄β ¦β’Ύβ „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’€β žβ „β „β’šβ£―β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£·β£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€ β „β „β „β „β β „β „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β „β „β „β’°β „β „β „β „β „β’˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ‰β »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒ β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β „β ™β Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ β Άβ ‚β „β’¬β‘»β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ‘β „β „ β „β „β „β‘Όβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β’©β’»β£›β‘›β ›β’›β£‰β£‰β£­β‘­β‘ˆβ β’ β ƒβ „β „ β „β „β’Έβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β β „β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β β „β’€β‘¬β šβ β „β „β „ β „β’€β‘žβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ „β „β’€β’€β „β’β£’β£²β£΄β β „β „β „β „β „β „ β’ β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ™β ™β£―β£Άβ —β Ÿβ ™β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „
March 2020

Ben Brode increased Kripp's odds for going second

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Ben Brode here. After checking your account, we noticed that your odds for going second were accidentally set to "60" % instead of "50"%. We apologize for the inconvenience, as this change was mean to be applied to a "reynad" account. The issue is on our radar, and we will patch it when we can. Thank you and have a good day!
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

if you copy this message im reporting you

twitchquotes: wow, i log on to twitch tv to chat with people and to watch a good streamer, then you guys fking spam this chat with your dumb kappas and dumb sht memes that are not even close to funny. i dont even giggle from your shtty jokes. fk you and if you fking copy this message im reporting each one of you. you all think your fking funny
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

salty

Inverted Toucan

dlǝɐsǝ pouΚ‡ qɐuΛ™ Κ‡uxβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘pΗΚŒα΄‰ΙΉΙΉΙβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘sɐΙ₯β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘uɐɔnoΚ‡β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘Ηlβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing