[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Why don't people like Brigitte?

twitchquotes: Why don't people like Brigitte? I can't be the only one who loves being stunned the entire game. Shield bash is so amazing and really makes for some intense and fun gameplay. Thanks Blizzard
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Jerma is a character loosely inspired by Peter Griffin

Jerma985, or also known as Jeremy Elbertson, is a character loosely inspired by a character named Peter Griffin from Family Guy, an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane. Both characters are from Boston and shares the same characteristics through the show.[8] Jerma's dog, Otto, is also a reference to Brian Griffin as both characters have a pet dog. Throughout the airings of the show, this homage to Family Guy has become a running gag as the character Chat often says a memorable quote, "That's a Family Guy joke.".[9][10]
March 2022
Jerma985

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and I, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.
May 2021

Simps

yang gang for life

twitchquotes: If my girl ๐Ÿ‘ฉ and yang ๐Ÿค“ both drowning ๐Ÿ˜ฑ and I can only save one ๐Ÿ˜ข catch me with my 1000 extra a month ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘ because it's yang gang for life ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Œ
twitch chat
August 2019

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing