God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I woke up aroused
twitchquotes:
Just because... I had a dream of being pounded in the ass, and I was aroused when I woke up, doesn't make me gay. It was fuckin' hot, ok? A big ass 6 foot 5 WEREWOLF lookin' guy with huge muscles bear-hugged me, HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH, and I was just, face against the glass OOO smack OOO smack UUHH smack OOO smack OOK smack OOO, and I woke up aroused. That doesn't make me gay. I don't think it's GAY to wake up aroused. I-I think that it was just hot. It was fucking hot
twitch chat
KappaPride
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
I hate taking shits
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
MaSsan is an anagram for Assman
twitchquotes:
เผผ โ อส โ เผฝ MaSsan is an anagram for Assman เผผ โ อส โ เผฝ เผผ โ อส โ เผฝ MaSsan is an anagram for Assman เผผ โ อส โ เผฝ
twitch chat
MaSsanSC
World War 2 in emojis
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ค๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐ฉ๐ช
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ท๐๐
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธโก๏ธ๐๐๐ฆ๐น
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ก๐ก๐๐๐จ๐ฟ๐จ
๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐๐๐ซ๐ท๐จโ๐จ๐๐
๐จ๐ฟ๐ต๐ซ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ค๐จ๐ป๐ท๐บ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ก๐ก๐๐๐๐ต๐ฑ
๐ต๐ฑ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐คฌ๐
โโ๏ธ๐
โโ๏ธ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ค๐ท๐บ๐จ๐ป๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธ๐ถโโ๏ธโโก๏ธโ๐ต๐ฑ๐ฏ
๐ซ๐ท๐จโ๐จ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐ฏ
๐ซ๐ท๐จโ๐จ๐ก๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณโโ๐๏ธโ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช
๐ต๐ฑ๐ต๐ซ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐จ๐ป๐ท๐บ
๐ซ๐ท๐ต๐ซ๐จ๐ป๐ฉ๐ช
๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณโ๐ข
๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณ๐๐โก๏ธ๐ณ๐ณโฟ๐บ๐ธ
๐ฏ๐ต๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ฃ๐ฃโก๏ธ๐บ๐ธโฟ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ญ๐ญ
๐บ๐ธโฟ๐ก๐ก๐ฌ๐ง๐จ๐ปโ๐ฆณโโ๐๏ธโ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ฏ๐ต๐๐ฎ๐น๐จโ๐ฆฒ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ปโ๐๏ธโ๐ท๐บ๐จ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ก๐ก๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
๐ท๐บ๐จ๐ป๐๐๐โก๏ธ๐บ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฌ๐ง๐ณ
๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ป๐ต๐ซ๐บ๐ธ๐๐ท๐บ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ท๐
๐ฏ๐ต๐ต๐ซ๐บ๐ธ๐โข๐ฃ
๐บ๐ณ