God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
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the unluckiest human ever
twitchquotes:
BREAKING NEWS - scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's chess game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but I just keep lowrolling and going eif!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
k3soju
Teamfight Tactics
Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
Kripp
๐HAPPY SPANKSGIVING๐ฆ
โผ๏ธITS๐ SPANKSGIVING ๐ BITCHESโผ๏ธOn this day ๐ many years ago ๐ฎ the SLUTTY ๐ PILGRIMS ๐ฉ sailed โต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ HOEcean in a quest ๐to find ๐ more ๐ COCKS ๐ to SUCK! ๐
Together with the ๐ NAUGHTY ๐ NATIVES ๐น, they gathered ๐ซ around the dinner table ๐ฝ and had ๐ our nationโs very 1๏ธโฃst GANG BANG! ๐ฏโโ๏ธ๐ฏ๐ฏโโ๏ธ We honor ๐๐ป their ORGY ๐ฎ every year ๐ by giving THANKS ๐๐ผ to all ๐ฅฐ thatโs important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ, Friends ๐ฌ, Freedom ๐บ๐ธ, and DICK! ๐๐ฝ๐
So grab your BUNS, ๐โ๐๐squeeze those BREASTS, ๐๐ฅ๐คฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ฝ๐ฝ amount of DICK ๐ ๐ฉ into that hungry ๐ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐ณ๐๐
Ladies ๐ฏโโ๏ธ, just like your ๐ฆ THOTSgiving ๐ฆ turkey, itโs time โฐ to throw your legs ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธin the air ๐คธ๐ผโโ๏ธand prepare to get โก๏ธ STUFFED ๐!
After dinner,๐ดitโs time ๐ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐ฅง Show Daddy ๐จ๐ฝโ๐ฆณ how ๐๐ผ thankful ๐๐ผ you are and LICKK ๐ his WishBONE ๐ฆด until he gets as HARD ๐as PlyMOUTH rock โฐ and shoots ๐ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐ฅฃ! ๐
Midnight ๐ starts ๐ BLACK โฌ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ so send ๐ค this to ๐ THOTS ๐๐ปโโ๏ธyou are thankful ๐๐ผ for! If you get 0๏ธโฃ back, sail ๐ to England ๐๐ป๐คฎ If you get 5๏ธโฃ back, youโll be getting your corn ๐ฝ CREAMED ๐๐ฅฐ. Get ๐ back or more, and the ๐ BIGGEST, ๐ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐ COCK ๐ฑ is CUMMING ๐ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Thanksgiving
NSFW
Holiday
For a little donger, I pack a big punch!
twitchquotes:
เผผ แค๏ปฟโโกโ เผฝแค For a little donger, I pack a big punch! เผผ แค๏ปฟโโกโ เผฝแค!!!
twitch chat
Trump
WTF IS MEGALUL?
twitchquotes:
We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the 
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the 
fags but now 
has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the fags but now has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
Forsen