[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Shuffle a Weasel into Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: 🐿 WEASEL 🐿 Deathrattle: Shuffle a 🐿 WEASEL 🐿 into twitch chat.
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

Bees fly anyway bUrself

twitchquotes: bUrself According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. bUrself
twitch chat
April 2016

Team Dignitas is the Cardashians of league

twitchquotes: team dignitas is the cardashians of league, they have never managed to accomplish anything but they are somehow popular EleGiggle
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

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AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuсking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing