[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโ€™m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

With this chant, I take a hit

twitchquotes: VapeNation Battery charged, coil lit VapeNation With this chant VapeNation I take a hit VapeNation V/\ VapeNation
twitch chat
April 2016
Forsen

VapeNation

hey Tyler, its me Brad

twitchquotes: hey Tyler, its me Brad, remember me . Ha, remember that time when you tried to run trough the A gap but i tackled you so hard you started crying. yes good times man.
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

Tanner from High School

Traumatized Mr Incredible

โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌœโฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โฌ›โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž– โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–โž–
February 2022

Please refrain from likening us to plebeians

twitchquotes: Twitch streamers and their subscribers define us (not subscribed audience) as members of a lower social class, plebs as they call it. I find it inappropriate to compare us with ancient Rome's lowest class as there is nothing ignominious to being a member of the proletariat. Also their living standards were significantly inferior to ours (e.g. health, education) so the comparison is unsound. In the future, please refrain from likening us to plebeians because descriminating due to economic and social status like that is reprehensible in our modern society.
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing