[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Bear King Burry vs TSLA

Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly. "The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee. TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair. Bear King Burry turns to the crowd "Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?" A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries. On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time. "Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..." Bear King Burry turns to WSB "Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch." "Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want." A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring. "And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously. BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends. "Who am I?" the robed figure inquires. The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall. The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence. "Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly. The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature. The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes. "I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Gimme gimme chicken tendies

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan Gimme gimme chicken tendies, be they crispy or from Wendys. Spend my hard-earned good-boy points, on Kid's Meal ball pit burger joints. Mummy lifts me to the car, to find me tendies near and far. Enjoy my tasty tendie treats, in comfy big boy booster seats. FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

Only one cure to the memes

twitchquotes: there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\ there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\
twitch chat
May 2016
imaqtpie

EU hearthstone expansion delayed

twitchquotes: LUL I am from EU LUL my breath smells like poo LUL Expansion delayed LUL And the server's down too LUL
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

EU vs NA

Worst Matchup

twitchquotes: Worst Matchup: Warrior ✓ Shaman ✓ Priest ✓ Rogue ✓ Druid ✓ Warlock ✓ Hunter ✓ Mage ✓ Paladin ✓
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing