God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
SPAM THIS TO HELP ZACKRAY
twitchquotes:
SPAM THIS GAY TO HELP ZACKRAY
SPAM THIS GAY TO HELP ZACKRAY
twitch chat
VGBootCamp
KappaPride
Super Smash Bros
Kripp meets Gordon Ramsay
twitchquotes:
Kripp meets Gordan Ramsay behind the kitchen, gently caressing his body, he mutters "hey say that word again, and say it like you mean it" "ORE-GAHHHNO" Ramsey softly whispers into kripps ear, as he gets chills throughout his body "oh you know i love it when you say that, now give me my daily dose of OMEEGA 3" as Ramsey inserts his sausage into kripps prepared packag
twitch chat
Kripp
Jokerd I can do whatever I want
twitchquotes:
Who do I think I am? Let me tell you who I am. I am world first level 60 in fucking classic wow. I can do whatever the fuck I want. You think I'm a random player? You think I'm a fucking random player? Let me fucking clue you in bitch. I am the the guy who had 350 fucking thousand viewers playing this fucking game. Me, not you. The most views ever on this game. The first guy to hit 60. I can do whatever the fuck I want.
twitch chat
JokerdTV
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2
It's Cinco de mayo... ๐๐ฎ๐ but all I want ๐๐ป is cinco DICKS ๐ฏ in my May-OUTH ๐ฉ๐
๐ฆ Today the SEXicans ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ beat the French ๐๐ซ๐ท at the Battle of Puebla ๐ซโ and now you're gonna get your piรฑata beat ๐๐ฉ with a huge stick ๐ณ๐ but โ๏ธONLYโ๏ธ if you send ๐ฒ this to 5๏ธโฃ amigos ๐ฌ you'd cross borders โก๏ธ for ๐๐ป๐ฏ Get 5๏ธโฃ back ๐ and you'll find the Juan for you tonight โค๏ธโบ๏ธ๐