[Copypasta] I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

Pikachu

░░░░█░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░▄▄███▀░░ ░░░░█░░░▀▄░▄▄▄▄▄░▄▀░░░█▀░░ ░░░░░▀▄░░░▀░░░░░▀░░░▄▀░░░░ ░░░░░░░▌░▄▄░░░▄▄░▐▀▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▐░░█▄░░░▄█░░▌▄▄▀▀▀▀█ ░░░░░░▌▄▄▀▀░▄░▀▀▄▄▐░░░░░░█ ░░░▄▀▀▐▀▀░░░░░░░▀▀▌▄▄▄░░░█ ░░░█░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░█▀▀▀
November 2014

Pokemon

It's me, your only Viewer

twitchquotes: Hi [streamer name]- It’s me, your only Viewer. For Months I have created the illusion that you are streaming to a large audience. But here’s the truth: all these people in the chat are me. And now, for you to be convinced of this, I will send this message from all my accounts.
twitch chat
March 2021

Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind ☑ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Shrek 2

⢋⣴⠒⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿ ⢾⣿⣀⣿⡘⢿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠻⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⣦⣉⡁⠄⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⢷⡶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⠛⠻⠃⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⣀⣀⣴⡟⢩⠁⠩⣝⢂⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡛⣳⣶⣤⡘⠿⢋⣡ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣈⣱⣮⣿⣷⡾⠟⠋ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⠛⠛⣻⣿⠉⠛⠋⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⠄⢒⣤⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣀⣀⣉⣉⣠⣽⣿⣟⠻⣿⣿⡆⢻ ⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠋⠉⣿⣿⣶⣿⣟⣛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⡇⣸ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢿ ⡋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂⠠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡿⠄⢈ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣴⣿⢿⡋⠄⠄ ⣠⣴⠶⠖⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⢫⠞⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⢿⣧⣶⠏⠄
September 2020

Shrek

Text-to-Speech Playing