God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...
It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
Classic
I fucking hate Stuart Little
twitchquotes:
I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what youโre thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and heโs supposed to be a hero? And I canโt even tell you how many damn times Iโve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, Iโm going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote โyouโre a piece of shit, and i fucked your momโ. Iโm now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people youโve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
Bender demends a voltron deck
twitchquotes:
ยฆฬต ฬต ฬต ฬต ฬต(ฬข ฬกโฬ
โอ (โค8ืโโฆ BENDER demands a VOLTRON deck
twitch chat
Kripp
Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)
twitchquotes:
Red ๐ด ๐ sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ. Red ๐ด ๐ด suuuus. I ๐๐ ๐ said ๐ค ๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฟ๐ฆ red ๐น ๐ด, sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, hahahahaha ๐คฃ ๐คฃ. Why 
arent you ๐๐ฏ ๐ laughing ๐ ๐? I ๐๐ ๐ฅ just made ๐ ๐ a reference ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ to the popular ๐๐๐ ๐ video ๐น ๐น game ๐ฎ ๐ฎ "Among ๐ท๐ด๐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ"! How can you ๐ ๐ not laugh ๐ ๐ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐ฏ ๐ค! Guys ๐ฆ ๐จ, this here guy ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ป๐จ๐ป doesnt laugh ๐คฃ โ๐๐
at my funny ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐ Among ๐ฐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ memes ๐ธ ๐! Lets ๐ ๐ beat โ๐๐ป ๐ฐ๐ him ๐ด ๐จ to death ๐๐ฅโ ๐! Dead ๐๐ โ body ๐ ๐ reported โ ๐ง! Skip ๐ง ๐๐ผ! Skip ๐ง ๐ง! Vote ๐ ๐ blue ๐ ๐! Blue ๐ ๐ was not an impostor ๐ ๐ . Among ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐
ฐ us ๐จ ๐จ in a nutshell ๐ ๐ hahahaha ๐๐๐ ๐. What?! Youre still ๐ค๐ ๐ค๐ not laughing ๐ ๐ your 
ass ๐ ๐
ฐ off ๐ด ๐ดโ ? I ๐ ๐ made ๐ ๐ SEVERAL ๐ฏ ๐ฏ funny ๐๐๐ ๐โ references ๐๐๐ ๐ to Among ๐ฐ ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ Us ๐จ ๐บ๐ธ and YOU ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฅ STILL ๐ค๐ ๐ ARENT LAUGHING ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ??!!! Bruh โ ๐ณ๐คฃ๐. Ya ๐๐ผ ๐ hear ๐ ๐ that? Wooooooosh ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ. Whats ๐ฆ ๐ฆ woooosh ๐ ๐? Oh ๐ ๐, nothing โ ๐ซ. Just the sound ๐ ๐ of a joke ๐ ๐ flying โ โ over ๐ณ๐๐ฆ ๐ your head ๐ ๐. Whats ๐ฆ that? You ๐ think ๐ญ ๐ญ im ๐ ๐ annoying ๐ ๐ ? Kinda ๐
๐
sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, bro ๐ ๐โบ๐ฌ. Hahahaha ๐ ๐! Anyway ๐ ๐, yea ๐ ๐ฏ, gotta go ๐ ๐ do tasks โ ๐. Hahahaha ๐ ๐!
arent you ๐๐ฏ ๐ laughing ๐ ๐? I ๐๐ ๐ฅ just made ๐ ๐ a reference ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ to the popular ๐๐๐ ๐ video ๐น ๐น game ๐ฎ ๐ฎ "Among ๐ท๐ด๐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ"! How can you ๐ ๐ not laugh ๐ ๐ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐ฏ ๐ค! Guys ๐ฆ ๐จ, this here guy ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ป๐จ๐ป doesnt laugh ๐คฃ โ๐๐
at my funny ๐๐ ๐บ๐๐ Among ๐ฐ ๐ฐ Us ๐จ ๐จ memes ๐ธ ๐! Lets ๐ ๐ beat โ๐๐ป ๐ฐ๐ him ๐ด ๐จ to death ๐๐ฅโ ๐! Dead ๐๐ โ body ๐ ๐ reported โ ๐ง! Skip ๐ง ๐๐ผ! Skip ๐ง ๐ง! Vote ๐ ๐ blue ๐ ๐! Blue ๐ ๐ was not an impostor ๐ ๐ . Among ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐
ฐ us ๐จ ๐จ in a nutshell ๐ ๐ hahahaha ๐๐๐ ๐. What?! Youre still ๐ค๐ ๐ค๐ not laughing ๐ ๐ your ass ๐ ๐
ฐ off ๐ด ๐ดโ ? I ๐ ๐ made ๐ ๐ SEVERAL ๐ฏ ๐ฏ funny ๐๐๐ ๐โ references ๐๐๐ ๐ to Among ๐ฐ ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ Us ๐จ ๐บ๐ธ and YOU ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฅ STILL ๐ค๐ ๐ ARENT LAUGHING ๐ ๐๐๐ฆ??!!! Bruh โ ๐ณ๐คฃ๐. Ya ๐๐ผ ๐ hear ๐ ๐ that? Wooooooosh ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ ๐ฆ๐ฝ๐พ. Whats ๐ฆ ๐ฆ woooosh ๐ ๐? Oh ๐ ๐, nothing โ ๐ซ. Just the sound ๐ ๐ of a joke ๐ ๐ flying โ โ over ๐ณ๐๐ฆ ๐ your head ๐ ๐. Whats ๐ฆ that? You ๐ think ๐ญ ๐ญ im ๐ ๐ annoying ๐ ๐ ? Kinda ๐
๐
sus ๐ฆ ๐ฆ, bro ๐ ๐โบ๐ฌ. Hahahaha ๐ ๐! Anyway ๐ ๐, yea ๐ ๐ฏ, gotta go ๐ ๐ do tasks โ ๐. Hahahaha ๐ ๐!
twitch chat
Among Us / Amogus
Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
Kripp