Sleeping naked is a power move anyways.
• Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty.
• When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets.
• Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I sexually identify as Rick Harrison
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as Rick Harrison. For 21 years I dreamed of working at my very own pawn shop with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Call me retarded but I don’t care, I’m getting plasticsurgery to install 18th century muskets and vintage movieposters on my body. You can now refer to me as Rick Harrison and respect my right to not know WHAT is gonna come through that door. If you can't acceptme you're a pawnphobe and need to check your door privileges. Thank you for having a story and a price.
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Rick Harrison
I sexually Identify as
Twitch Chat created a strategy that revolved around...
twitchquotes:
Twitch Chat created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your livestreamer in one minute with a bunch of copypasta in the chat. Fighting for chat control and battles between mods make an overall chat more fun and compelling, but taking the same pasta and copying it 20+ times is not particularly fun or interactive...
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Kripp
Putin had a private screening of Morbius
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
Morbius
I will now transform this human into a cat
twitchquotes:
I WILL NOW TRANSFORM THIS HUMAN INTO A CAT╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆ -> -> -> 
twitch chat
Classic
GUYS PLEASE HELP! I NEED HELP!
twitchquotes:
WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE 💦 THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT 💭 IT WAS DROWNED 🌊👻 ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ IT WASN'T ❌ THERE 
IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
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