[Copypasta] Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Creepy frontal pepe smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⠟⠉⠋⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠹⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡤⠖⠒⠛⠛⠒⠒⠲⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⡔⣁⡤⠖⠒⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠤⣉⠳⣆⣠⠞⢉⣁⡤⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⡉⠛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡅⠀⠀⢸⠏⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣼⡧⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠦⣙⢦⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⡏⡇⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⢙⣿⠿⢿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⢠⣴⡾⣿⡿⢻⣷⣦⡀⠀⠈⢻⡇⠀⠐⠛⣿ ⠟⠁⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢠⣿⣇⣀⣼⣷⣾⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠈⠛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⣠⣾⣆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙ ⣰⠞⠛⠲⢄⡀⠀⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠖⠚⠁⠀⠙⠷⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⢤⡀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠴⠛⠁⠀⠀⢻ ⠹⣇⠀⢳⣄⡀⠀⠈⠙⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠘⣦⠀⠹⣍⠒⠤⣀⡀⠀⠉⠓⠶⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⠤⠴⠖⠛⠉⠀⣀⠤⠒⢉⡴⠁⢀⠞⠁ ⠄⠀⠈⠳⣄⠈⠓⢤⡀⠉⠁⠒⠤⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠉⢁⣠⠖⠁⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀ ⣯⣆⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⠙⠲⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⣀⠴⠒⠉⢀⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠠⣾ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠦⣄⣀⠉⠙⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠔⠒⠒⠋⠉⣀⣠⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡦⣶⠤⣤⣀⡀⠈⠙⠓⠒⠶⠤⠤⠤⣤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⠶⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠒⠒⠒⠶⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠒⠊⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
June 2021

Pepe

Giving due respect to the chat moderators

twitchquotes: Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
December 2014

MODS

Classic

When will C9 play at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys, I'm a 12 year old from Uganda. I sold my 6 kids just to be able to afford internet to watch C9 play at worlds. When will they play?
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Wow! I love Verizon™!

twitchquotes: Wow! I love Verizon™! I’m glad that the internet is so free! Isn’t it great to say whatever you want and have your opinion represented equally across the internet! It’s really great! Good thing Verizon has spent millions on having that removed I’m sure they won’t abuse it! Thank you Verizon™! I love Verizon™! Don’t you love Verizon™?! Say it! Say it! Say you love Verizon™! Can’t you see they’re protecting us from all those small businesses who want to steal a fraction of their market?! Don’t you hate those people disagreeing with you?! I sure love Verizon™! Thank you Verizon™! Thank you for sticking your gold plated rusty knives up our asses and looking us dead in the eyes and saying “this is what’s best for a free and open internet” and slowly twisting it deeper and deeper until we eventually just give out and shit money into your fat wallets!
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

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