[Copypasta] Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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VROOM VROOM Motor bike guy

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Motorbike Guy here. Just wanted to say: ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOMU ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM
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May 2014
Kripp

Service dog approaches you

twitchquotes: If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help. Follow the dog and you'll get a free purse or wallet.
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April 2019

Kripp and Tony Gambino Casino in Reno

twitchquotes: ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ, ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏɴʏ ɢᴀᴍʙɪɴᴏ ᴄᴀsɪɴᴏ ɪɴ ʀᴇɴᴏ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ᴛʀɪᴏ ᴏғ ɴᴇᴏ─ᴘᴏʀɴᴏʀɪɴᴏs, "ғɪʟɪᴘɪɴᴏ─ʟᴀᴛɪɴᴏs sʜᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴊᴀʟᴀᴘᴇɴᴏs ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴘᴇᴇ─ʜᴏʟᴇs ૩,"ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ϙᴜᴇɴᴛɪɴ ᴛᴀʀᴀɴᴛɪɴᴏ. ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴀʟʟ, ᴀᴍɪɢᴏ
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Bear King Burry vs TSLA

Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly. "The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee. TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair. Bear King Burry turns to the crowd "Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?" A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries. On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time. "Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..." Bear King Burry turns to WSB "Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch." "Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want." A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring. "And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously. BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends. "Who am I?" the robed figure inquires. The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall. The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence. "Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly. The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature. The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes. "I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
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Ape rocket

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April 2021

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