[Copypasta] Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.
August 2021

Classic

Copypastas reduce the human experience

twitchquotes: Copypastas are reducing the human experience to generic responses to certain things occurring inside the game. Doesn't people feel the need to express themselves with some level of originality?
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September 2019

Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022

Little dribble drop

You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than you’re done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. It’s only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had. Just happened. The fucking worst.
April 2021

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Angry Bee

twitchquotes: ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣦⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡄⠙⣿⣿⣶⣤⡾⣫⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠲⢤⣀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⢸⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢈⡿⢡⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⠈⣿ ⣿⡇⢸⡇⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠈ ⣿⡀⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣟⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡶⢢⢰⠀ ⣿⣇⠈⢷⣿⣿⡾⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠷⠼⠇⠂ ⣿⣿⣦⠀⠻⣿⣧⡘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⠻⣷⣌⢷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢰⣿⣿⣷⣯⡛⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠔⠁⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⠛⠋⠙⠻⠷⢶⣤⣤⣤⣄⣤⣤⣤⡤⠦⠖⠂⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⠀⠺⠿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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February 2020
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