[Copypasta] Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Look what Casualstone has done to you Kripp

twitchquotes: @nl_Kripp I just rewatched your Diablo Intro video and shed a tear. At that time you were full of joy, passion and energy. Now look at yourself after all this years. Look what Casualstone has done to you. You are dying from boredom Kripp, you are yawning so hard as if you didn't sleep for ages, and tons of salt make your existance even more pathetic. Don't you realise it's time to make a step towards changes?
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Spy from tf2 disguised himself as demoman

twitchquotes: Bruh wharf if, if the spy fromb tf2 disguised himself as demoman to get an N-word word pass.
twitch chat
May 2019

Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word

I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year. It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions. The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me. So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
January 2021

Derp face

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░██▄▀▄░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░▄▀▀▀▄░░░░█░░░▀▀░█▀▄░░░ ░░░█░░█▄▄░░░█░░░▀▄░░░░░▐░█░░░ ░░▐▌░░█▀▀░░▄▀░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░█░░ ░░▐▌░░█░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░ ░░▐▌░░░▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐▌░ ░░▐▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░▐▌░ ░░▐▌░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░█░░░░░░▐▌░ ░░░█░░░░░░░░░▀█▄░░▄█░░░░░░▐▌░ ░░░▐▌░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░▐▌░ ░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░ ░░░░▐▌▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐▌░░ ░░░░░█░░▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing