[Copypasta] Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad

twitchquotes: NerfRedBlaster Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! NerfBlueBlaster The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. NerfRedBlaster Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. NerfBlueBlaster Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere. NerfRedBlaster
twitch chat
February 2017

Byron, you have such a beautiful smile

twitchquotes: Byron, you have such a beautiful smile, luscious lips, smooth skin, gorgeous bald spot and an amazing STICC body, can I eat your ass? :)
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

FeelsAYAYAMan

⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢣⣿⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⢿⣏⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠛⢱⣿⣿⣿⡟⡫⠾⢸⣧⠹⠊⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⡝⣦ ⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢕⣛⠇⣦⣍⠻⠫⠼⠓⣘⢸⡟⠸⣛⣓⡛⢿⣿⡇⣝⢿⣷⡈ ⠃⣿⣿⢟⣫⣶⣾⣿⣿⠘⠋⣡⢨⠉⠩⣭⣔⠘⠡⠝⢒⢠⠄⠘⡟⣷⢿⣯⢻⡇ ⡟⠟⡕⣛⣿⣭⣽⣶⣶⡑⢿⡇⠐⠈⠄⣸⠿⠾⠰⠿⣇⠄⠄⠁⢀⣿⠘⢻⠸⡇ ⢱⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡳⠶⠶⠶⢖⣒⣚⣩⣾⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⡟⠋⠄⠸⠁⠁ ⡸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣷⢹⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣩⣶⡶⢶⣶⣮⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣏⢧⡛⠿⠿⠷⠶⢶⣤⣭⣛⣛⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣙⢸⢃⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡭⠉⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣨⣒⠤⢬⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Weebs

Pepe

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