Sleeping naked is a power move anyways.
• Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty.
• When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets.
• Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
I used to be a real ad
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Anime girl 10 open mouth
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Weebs
NSFW
hi reckful this is your mother :)
to help you not feel lonely i made this simulation in which 10k watch you play but theyre actually all just me to prove it ill copy paste this on all my accounts Red was not An Impostor
twitchquotes:
. 。 • ﾟ 。 . . . 。 。 . . 。 ඞ 。 . • . Red was not An Imposter. . . 2 Impostor remains 。 . 。 ﾟ . . , . . .
twitch chat
Among Us / Amogus
1 MIL MEDICAL BILL NA
twitchquotes:
NA? KEKW GO TO STORE KEKW GET SHOT KEKW SURVIVE? KEKW 1 MIL MEDICAL BILL KEKW
twitch chat
EU vs NA
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.