[Copypasta] The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I hate the French language

I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations. I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
April 2022

NOW WE RUCKUS

twitchquotes: (╭ರ 益•́)/ NOW WE RUCKUS (╭ರ 益•́)
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Do you have I even?

twitchquotes: You know how I can be found at a time when you are get to the day before my eyes and I love it so hard for you and you are so a good time waster but it was not the best same as a whole new bunch if it is the only way I am a little more of time
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat

twitchquotes: ༼ つ _ ༽つGreetings twitch chat, at midnight i will celebrate halloween by killing people who didn't Copy pastarino this message. Do it now or you will be dead at 00:00. Copy pastarino NOW or Rip in peperoni's.༼ つ _ ༽つ
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Kissahomie

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣴⣼⣵⣾⣴⣤⣦⣄⣴⣶⣬⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿ ⢀⣿⣭⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡀⠄⠄ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣯⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣕⡀ ⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⣼⣿⣿⣤⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣇⠈⠺⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣽⣿⣿⣳⣿⡌⠙⠛⠿⠛⢋⣛⣿⣿⠇⣠⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠿⠋⠄⠈⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⣶⠄⠻⢿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠻⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣰⢟⣵⣿ ⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⡶⣪⢶⣿⣿⣿
February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing