[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

SUS

⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021

Tides left reynad for C9

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis team's salary is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œReynad's contract can't win against a salary like C9's” β˜‘ "They NEEDED precisely those bonuses to get me to sign" β˜‘ β€œThey bribed the only player that would turncoat” β˜‘ "They had the perfect negotiator" β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing Reynad could do” β˜‘ β€œI backstabbed that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Doublelift's chat is the best chat to spread copypastas

twitchquotes: Doublelift's chat is the best chat to spread your copypastas. I love the feeling of that succulent wall of text skyrocketing through chat at the speed of sound. The sheer knowledge that at least one other person will notice your masterpiece, highlight it, and copypasta. This is my safe place. This is where I will plant my pastas to grow up to be big pasta trees.
twitch chat
February 2017
Doublelift

HELLO BLIZZARD I WANT TO REPORT A BUG

twitchquotes: πŸ“ž BabyRage HELLO BLIZZARD πŸ“ž BabyRage I WANT TO REPORT A BUG πŸ“ž BabyRage MY OPPONENTS ARE ALL NETDECKERS
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing