[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
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Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021

DrDisRespect

⠄⠄⠈⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣀⣀⡀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⡄⢴⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢀⡈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⢠⣿⡸⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠴⠶⠯⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠄⣿⣷⣽⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠎ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣶⡄⠄⢊⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⠟⠛⠛⠃⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⡮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣾ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠲⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣶⣶⣷⣦⣼⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣒⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⡯⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY

ඞ AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY shut you fucking mouth its a dead game i cant even say the word sus without a person saying AMOUNGUS i cant even DESCRIBE how my life has changed from this because if i go on the internet SUS FUNNY OOH i swear next time i hear or see it i will shit on your mom
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables

twitchquotes: Hello, Mr. Veganarrian, it's Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables. We prepared your package containing: Extra Thicc 30cm Cucumber and Huge Fat Watermelon with hole. You can come to pick it up any time, and we recommend you to bring your slave Rania because package is heavy. Have a nice day and go green!
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Tomato Town Police Report

The residents of Tomato Town need your help identifying two suspects who were about to get down while involved in an event on Monday evening. Ten people were eliminated, and the two suspects, one injured, left the scene headed Southbound and were later spotted at a local park. The two suspects were armed with golden scar ARs and were “hitting that chug jug” as several witnesses stated. Please alert local Tomato Town authorities with any information regarding the duo.
March 2021

Fortnite

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