[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
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It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t ‘gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
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Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue

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Classic

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The Bible is an amazing manga

The Bible is an amazing manga. Chapters 1-5 were written by this guy named Moses but for some reason the author changed around. Abram is definitely my favorite character although for some reason they retconned his name to be Abraham, and in some regional publications his name is Ibrahim. The best ship is Abram x Sarah. Also, they totally nailed the new testament chapter, with some great character development. I never expected Judas' betrayal either.
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FeelsOkayMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣥⣴⣶⣶⣶⣬⣙⠻⠟⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⠿⢷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠷⠥⠱⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠮⠤⣌⡙⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⢛⡁⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⡫⢕⣪⡭⠥⢭⣭⣉⡂⣉⡒⣤⡭⡉⠩⣥⣰⠂⠹ ⡟⢠⣿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣏⣛⢲⣾⣿⠃⠄⠐⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠁⠃⢸⣿⣿⡧ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣊⠙⠳⠤⠤⠾⣟⠛⠍⣹⣛⣛⣢⣀⣠⣛⡯⢉⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠶⢒⣠⣼⣿⣿⣛⠻⠛⢛⣛⠉⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⢿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⡻⢷⣍⣛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢇⡘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⠻⠶⣬⣍⣛⣛⠓⠶⠶⠶⠤⠬⠭⠤⠶⠶⠞⠛⣡⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣭⣍⣙⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠛⣠⣿⣿ ⣦⣈⠉⢛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣭⣁⣒⣒⣒⠂⠠⠬⠭⠭⠭⢀⣀⣠⣄⡘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2021
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