[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)

The other day, it was “take your kid to work day” at my dad’s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldn’t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, “Is this the Among Us but real??” My dad replied “No, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.” As we entered the building, my dad said “Son, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.” He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said “Does anyone wanna play some Among Us?” However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled “Executive Meeting Room”. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me “Hey buddy, are you lost?” I noticed that his nametag read “Hugh Johnson, CFO”. “Does CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?”, I asked. “No, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!” He was yelling at me. So I said “You’re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have a… HUGE JOHNSON?! That’s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!” I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said “Wanna play some Among Us guys?” The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said “Young man, go back to the first floor now!” But the sexy woman I just couldn’t listen to as I admired her. “No, because you have big tits.” Her jaw dropped, and she said, “Young man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!” She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said “Do you like what you see?” Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. “I’m so hot~~~~” I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldn’t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Imagine spamming chat

twitchquotes: Imagine going to an online chat and spamming it with brainless text for no reason.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

I was worried regi was losing control of tsm

twitchquotes: I was worried regi was losing control of tsm but after seeing them choke in playoffs its clear to see he is in full control
twitch chat
September 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

Hammer and sickle

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠻⣷⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣦⡀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣧ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⡿⠋⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁ ⢠⣶⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿
September 2020

No YEP COCK today

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠫⠓⠚⠉⠙⠓⠫⢻⠿⣟⠿⠭⠩⠛⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠕⠁⣠⠴⠒⠋⠉⢉⣉⣛⣛⣲⣤⣀⠔⠒⠛⢒⣋⣹⣛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⣖⡫⠝⠒⠂⠀⠀⠐⠺⣷⡲⠭⠛⠓⠒⠚⠫⠬⡻ ⣿⣿⡿⢟⠝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠮⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡿⠿⡆⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⢰⣿⠿⡆⠀⠈ ⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡑⢄⠀⠀⠻⠿⠶⠃⠀⢀⡧⢄⡀⠘⠻⠶⠁⠀⣀ ⢧⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡈⠓⣯⣖⣲⠤⠤⠴⠶⠯⠽⠦⢾⣿⡭⣬⡤⣩⣾ ⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠴⠒⠉⠉⣁⡠⠤⠤⠔⠒⠒⠶⠶⠦⠤⢤⣈⣉⠛⢼⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⠠⠴⠒⢋⣉⣠⠤⠴⠖⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠲⠮⣭⡓⠯ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢎⠳⠤⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢙⣳ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣱⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣱⣿⣿ ⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⠙⠵⣒⠤⠤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⣔⣮⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠒⠒⠮⠭⠭⢉⣉⣈⡉⠉⠭⠭⠝⠋⠘⠝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ NO YEP COCK TODAY IM SAD
May 2020

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing