[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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I don't geddit

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.
August 2021

Reddit

Chibi Vayne

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠭⣭⠻⠟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠁⠨⢰⠤⡐⡘⡙⠻⠟⠛⠻⡿⣷⣜⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣨⣤⣥⣦⣦⣤⡂⠱⡞⢸⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⡇⠂⠄⡀⠄⣕⣵⢿⣿⢿⣿⣟⣿⣝⡆⠁⠨⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⢁⠄⠤⠁⠉⢫⠮⡻⡿⠿⡓⠑⠩⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢉⣶⣿⣿⢁⡢⠑⢅⠄⠐⠈⠄⣬⣾⣳⣄⢂⠠⡠⢹⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⣄⣦⣾⡿⢿⣿⣷⡌⠌⠢⡫⡪⡾⣽⢿⣺⣯⣻⣯⢯⣫⣿⣿⢞⢾⢜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣮⣿⣖⢀⠄⠈⠎⠝⠹⡹⡳⡋⡓⠽⣑⢺⣻⡏⣽⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠁⣿⡷⠆⡐⠐⡐⡀⣲⢳⠨⡚⢞⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡥⣼⢝⡠⣥⣦⣔⢆⡩⡼⣤⢵⣮⢸⡪⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡈⡁⠠⣿⣿⣿⣐⠈⠊⡊⠂⠯⠻⠁⠁⢼⣿⢰⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠌⠄⠠⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡆⡎⡔⡐⠄⠁⢈⠅⢢⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⡪⣸⣿⣿⡿⠿⣋⠂⠄⡂⠨⡈⠏⡇⢀⠄⠘⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣾⣻⣬⣮⠏⠈⠌⡂⢁⠄⠣⡣⡂⠠⠐⠄⢌⠉⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠁⠪⡢⠐⠄⡁⠠⠑⠷⣶⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⠂⡐⢰⡊⠠⢀⠡⠐⡭⡌⠄⠐⡀⠅⢐⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠠⠁⡐⡈⢴⣀⠁⠐⡈⢀⠡⠄⣳⣤⣂⣡⠈⢛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠄⠄⡀⣿⣿⣮⡄⠨⠄⠠⠁⠄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢰⣤⣟⣻⣿⡀⢁⢡⣬⣐⣀⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣤⣦⣟⣻⡟⣿⣟⣧⣔⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

Kreygasm

░░░░░░░░░░█▄▄▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░████▀▀▀███▄░░░░░░ ░░░▄▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀█▌░░░░░ ░░▐██▒▄■▀▒▒▒▀■▄██░░░░░ ░░▐██▒▒▄▄▌▒▐▄▄▒▐█▌░░░░ ░░░██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▌░░░░ ░░░██▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▒▒▒▒█▌░░░░ ░░░░█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░ ░░░░▓▒▒▒▒▄██▄▒▒▒▓░░░░░ ░░░░▓▒▒▒▒████▒▒▒▓░░░░░ ░░░░░▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▓▐█▌▒▒▐█▌░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀████▀░░░░░░░░
November 2014

LeBlanc

⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠒⠲⠿⣿⣯⣭⣍⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢲⣦⢮⡐⠊⠉⢱⣮⠀⠈⠃⢔⣢⣼⣿⣷⡦⠾⠦⠲⣶⣶⣉⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣤⣤⣍⣙⠻⢿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠘⣿⡻⣿⣿⡟⠛⠙⠀⢀⣴⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠨⡙⠿⣿⣶⣄⣿⣷⣿⠀⣮⠀⡀⢰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⢀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⣬⡻⢿⣿⣿⠃⣀⡼⠷⡽⣿⡟⠀⢀⡀⠀⢠⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⣰⡟⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢷⣽⣿⣜⢿⡇⠀⢰⡟⢀⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣰⡿⢡⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⢻⣷⣕⢠⡿⠑⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢹⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⡠⠁⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠻⣿⢃⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⠙⠿⣗⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⡧⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢰⠃⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⢄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡑⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⡀⠀⠉ ⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠓⠐⠒⣸⣄⣠⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡇⠑⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠄⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣤⣑⠄⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠂ ⡡⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠉⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠈⠙⠲⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⢤⣬⣤⠀⠀⣈⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠲⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠈⠉⠈⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢹⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣶ ⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⢆⣠⣴⣾⠿⠟⠛⢛⣿⣿ ⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣶⡿⣫⠾⠛⠉⢁⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⠿
September 2021

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing