[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: เผผโ–€ฬฟ ฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟเผฝ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. เผผโ–€ฬฟ ฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟเผฝ
twitch chat
May 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

Brofist

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆ โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
February 2015
Kripp

FLIPP ALL THE TABLES

twitchquotes: (โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP THAT TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ใƒฝ(ยฐโ–กยฐใƒฝ) FLIP THIS TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ๏ผผ\('0')/๏ผ ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP ALL THE TABLES เฒ _เฒ  Son... เฒ _เฒ  Put. เฒ __เฒ  The tables. เฒ ___เฒ  Back. (โ•ฎยฐ-ยฐ)โ•ฎโ”ณโ”โ”ณ (โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป NEVER!!!!
twitch chat
October 2016

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of the man who fell into the river in Lego city? I thought not. It's not a story the Playmobils would tell you. It's a LEGO legend. Man Lego was a Dark Lord of building, so powerful and so wise he could use the bricks to influence the constructions to create rescue helicoptersโ€ฆ He had such a knowledge of building that he could even keep the ones he cared about from falling. The dark side of the LEGOs is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulโ€ฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice threw him into the river in LEGO city. Ironic. He could rescue others from the river, but not himself.
December 2020

Lego City

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

He logs onto his Paypal account

twitchquotes: Several hours later, Svenskeren sits alone in his room at the Cloud9 team house. All of the other players are fast asleep. He logs onto his Paypal account and a wan smile etches its way across his face.
twitch chat
March 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing