[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski

twitchquotes: My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Can the mods ban us all?

twitchquotes: can :thinking: the :thinking: mods :thinking: ban :thinking: us :thinking: all :thinking:
twitch chat
January 2017

MODS

Classic

Apology letter from the condom factory

twitchquotes: What in the actual rainbows is wrong with your brain? Did you IQ test return with negative results or something? I’m getting closer and closer to believing that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Jesus Christ. Love the content keep it up.
twitch chat
December 2020

It’s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

It’s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? It’s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022

99% of y'all don't know what people going through

twitchquotes: R.I.P to that girl you called a slut in class today, she was a virgin. the pregnant girl walking down the street, she got raped. the boy you called lame he has to work to support his family. the girl you pushed down the other day, she's already being abused at home. the girl you called fat, she's starving herself. the boy you made fun of for crying, his mother is dying. think you know them? You have no idea... Guess what? 99% of y'all don't know what people going through
twitch chat
January 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing