[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
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The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Chat "K"
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

xqcY

⠀⢀⣤⢚⣉⣉⣹⡿⠿⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠳⠶⠶⠬⡙⠿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⠟⣡⠞⢛⣩⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣐⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⠞⣰⣾⣿⣿⠟⢛⣩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀ ⡏⣸⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠉⠻⣿⣦ ⠁⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢀⡤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣌⢿ ⡆⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡤⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⢰⡞⠀⠀⢠⠈⠛⣿⢸ ⡇⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⠀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣷⣤⣤⣶⣶⡿⠃⣸ ⠃⣼⣿⡆⠀⠈⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣿ ⡇⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢰⣿ ⠛⡌⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⢏⣾⡟ ⡀⢳⡘⣿⣿⣆⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⡿⠁ ⣧⠘⢷⡘⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀ ⠋⣷⣾⣷⡌⢿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠟⣡⣾⡄⠀ ⣿⣮⡙⢿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠿⢛⣡⣴⣾⡿⠟⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary

My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him. On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I don’t post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. It’s also the first time I’ve received Reddit gold. When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured I’m all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit. Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. He’s a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming. But Reddit, it’s been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I don’t say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
September 2021

Reddit

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

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