[Copypasta] You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Seoul Dynasty is just winning because...

twitchquotes: Seoul Dynasty is just winning because they go up against easy teams. It’s boosting their win ratio. They should go up against better teams to really show how good they are. I’m not calling them bad. I just want to clarify why they seem so good, even though they’re not.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Are you ready for my demolisher?

twitchquotes: Reynad moaned softly as Hyp3d pressed up against him. "Are you ready for my demolisher?" quipped Hyp3d. Reynad gave a short gasp "B-But it's too early, you don’t have enough mana!" Hyp3d shyly replies, "I've got a Coin-dom right here."
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Easter emoji pasta

April 2021

Emoji Pasta

Man-made sack containing balls

twitchquotes: Long ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls
twitch chat
March 2020

Jebaited

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⢷⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣤⠼⠟⠛⠄⠠⣭⡙⠋⠉⠄⠄⠚⠟⠋⠃⠐⠸⢟⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⡿⠋⠄⢀⣤⣤⣶⠈⢷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⠆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣍⠉⠻⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⣾⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣸⡿⣩⣟⣿⡦⡲⣿⣿⣿⡿⠙⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣏⣉⠉⠛⠢⠈⣻⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢷⠄⡌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠄⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣷⣴⣶⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing