[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Watch out I'm driving (Truck)

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–Œβ–β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œ ───▄▄ β–ˆ Kappa WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–Œ β–€(@)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(@)(@)β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€(@)β–€
February 2017

Classic

Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019

Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car

twitchquotes: Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car, I have an amazing new girlfriend, I make a shitload of money and I'm buying a house this spring. I party every weekend, I'm never home. I'm enjoying life. Do yourselves a favor. Stop trying to make gaming a career. It's cringe as fuck
twitch chat
September 2019

President's Day Emoji Pasta

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έtime to hop onto that founding father dickπŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ‘΄πŸ»or should i say founding DADDIES!!!πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ‘…πŸ‘…πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ out here tryna get rammed from behind πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREβ˜„οΈβ˜„οΈβ›°πŸ”πŸ”george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh β„οΈβ„οΈπŸŒ¬wintersπŸŒ¬β„οΈβ„οΈ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheetsπŸŒͺπŸ’‘β“β“β“be the monica Lewinsky πŸ™‹πŸ»to my bill clintonπŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ baby and i wont deny i had πŸ†πŸ†β™‹οΈsexual relationsβ™‹οΈπŸ†πŸ† with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programsπŸ’ΈπŸ’ΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈβœπŸ»send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSESπŸ‘ΈπŸΌπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‘ΈπŸΌwho will throw the nastiest neckπŸ†πŸ†πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸŒ¬πŸ’¦ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAYπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ’™πŸš¨β€οΈ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonightπŸ±πŸ±πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ™ŒπŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ
February 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

President's Day

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing