[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2022

Navy Seal

I hope your arena wins soar as high as I'm going to be

twitchquotes: Key Kripp! I'm Rob! I just purchased a fresh, legal dimebag from a Colorado dealer and intend to celebrate. I hope your arena wins soar as high as I'm going to be during the stream
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I'm meeting a girl (a real one)

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand)
February 2021

Discord

2021 fireworks

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⣦⠤⠀⠀⠉⢏⠀⠠⣤⣦⠄⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⠹⠛⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⠀⠀⠉⠈⠐⢄⠀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠉⡏⠀⠰⠁⠀⠀⠠⠊⠀⠀⠠⢤⣦⡤⠀⠀ ⠘⠛⠋⠒⠂⠤⢀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠣⢤⣦⡤⠀⠁⠀⡀⠤⠒⠉⠈⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣶⡄⠀⣀⣀⠀⠙⠛⢋⡀⠀⠀⡸⠉⠁⠀⠀⣁⡀⠠⠤⠄⠾⠷⠂⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠁⢤⣶⡄⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⣠⣀ ⠘⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠄⠂⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⠀⠀⠂⠠⠄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⠉⠁⠀⢀⣄⠞⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠑⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣾⡖⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠃⠀⠠⣴⣦⠄⠀⠈⠝⠛⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣶⣿⠟⢻⣿⡄⠀⢠⣾⡿⠛⠿⣷⡄⠀⢰⣾⡿⠛⣿⣧⠀⠀⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢀⣠⣼⣿⠃⠀⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠀⠀⠁⣀⣴⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣿⡟⠀⢀⣾⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⠿⠀⠘⢿⣷⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⢸⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠇⠀⣶⣿
January 2021

I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend we're holding hands

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) sometimes... when i have a bad day.... I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend that we're holding hands (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing