[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Only three more COVID variants until Sigma

MASKS UP😷 AND TITS OUT💯👏🙌ONLY THREE MORE COVID🦠VARIANTS🤤UNTIL SIGMA ΣΣ😩 You know what that means you 🅱OOSTED💉SLUTS👅👀 It’s time to get on that COVID Grindset™ before you get 🤯infected🍆🍆🍆by the SUPERIOR😤variant‼‼ The sixth 6️⃣wave🌊👋 is CUMMING💦💦📈🅱eta males at the bottom😓👇of the corona🍺sexual🥵 hierarchy 🏆 should ☠prepare to get FUCKED🍑🍆this time⌛ by the extra👌large🤪spike👆protein mutation☢🤤😫 Send this to 1️⃣9️⃣ of your most IMMUNO⛔COMPROMISED🚫😨😨 friends💩otherwise😳there will be💀 another VERY long📏🍆LOCK🔐DOWN🙈‼‼
December 2021

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene

twitchquotes: I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene. They use the local community college to host this and TOLD ME BY EMAIL IF I CAME THERE THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW ME IN. This was out of nowhere so I immediately called the TO, who told me why. He said it was because I was frequently toxic and angry. He said that I yell at players and make them uncomfortable and scared, and that a girl quit because of me. While I DO sometimes get frustrated and vocalize it, so do many other people I am simply being discriminated against my voice is naturally deeper than most. also the truth is a girl never quit that is a complete lie, she was just butthurt that she was worst than everyone there. I'm so fucking irate. I've been a member of this community FOR YEARS and just now I'm a nuisance? I am entitled to a certain level of RESPECT for being a veteran player. I'm looking into finding a lawyer who get me unbanned. There MUST be a law that prevents people from arbitrarily banning others from certain locations without written documents proving it (the TO just SAID I was banned he did not provide any evidence.) The TO isn't rich or anything so I don't think I would have to ask a lot from him, I think he'd break under just pressure of lawsuit.
twitch chat
January 2019

Super Smash Bros

i have not been gifted a single sub

twitchquotes: Hey streamer, i just wanted to express my disappointment in your community with this message. I have been a active viewer for the past couple of years and despite my constant effort i have not been gifted a single sub by your community. You should really be ashamed.
twitch chat
February 2020

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

Bedge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⢀⠠⢤⣤⡰⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⡻⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠲⠾⠕⣪⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢊⠇⠉⠑⠻⠅⢀⠜⢹⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠋⠭⠭⢅⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⡠⠎⠹⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣉⠽⠟⠉⠀⢀⡠⠔⠊⢁⡤⠊⠀⠁⠀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⢀⠤⠒⠢⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠴⠒⠊⠁⣀⠤⠚⣡⣴⠟⠊⠄⠠⠐ ⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⡇⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡠⠴⠒⠉⣠⣴⡿⠋⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⣀⣠⣴⡿⠛⠁⠀⡰⠆⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠒⠒⠒⣒⣿⣿⡿⠛⡉⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⢰⣊⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣦⠈⠈⠂⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⡡⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⢡ ⣿⣇⣆⠀⠧⠤⣭⣽⣶⣿⡿⢛⠁⠀⠀⠠⠀⠐⠃⠀⠀⠠⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⡿⣟⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⢥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣁⡤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠠⠠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡫⠕⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠶⠛⠉⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡯⠓⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2021

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing