[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&Mโ€™s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Itโ€™s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, canโ€™t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Doesn't mean I'm a virgin

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ˜ก Just because I watch Kripp ๐Ÿ˜ก doesn't mean I'm a virgin ๐Ÿ˜ก It's just a coincidence ๐Ÿ˜ก
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat (Kripp specifically). This chat is pure, unadulterated, 100% stupidity. Nobody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that aren't even good. THIS is why I'm turning off chat and will just watch the professional gameplay. And I swear to god, if any of you copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
November 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ‘‹ โ–ˆโ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ] 99% complete..... ๐ŸšซERROR!๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ’ฏTrue๐Ÿ’ฏ Daddies are irreplaceable ๐Ÿ’–I could never delete you Daddy!๐Ÿ’– Send this to ten other ๐Ÿ‘ชDaddies๐Ÿ‘ช who give you ๐Ÿ’ฆcummies๐Ÿ’ฆ Or never get called โ˜๏ธsquishyโ˜๏ธ againโŒโŒ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌโŒโŒ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ‘ฟ 3 back: you're squishyโ˜๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ 5 back: you're daddy's kitten๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ’ฆ 10+ back: Daddy
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

Catten Eatarrian

twitchquotes: "This pasta is delicious, Rania," says Kripp as he receives his vegan foodie. Rania replies, "That's not pasta. It's cat." As the Kripp vomits in horror, Trump removes the Rania mask. "It seems you've catten Eatarrian."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky
Text-to-Speech Playing