[Copypasta] My name is Dennis Pasterino

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Hello, Kripp. My name is Dennis Pasterino and I'm a talent scout with 'Morton Modeling Agency'. I wonder if you would be able to discuss a business opportunity. We're holding open auditions for n**e models to pose for the first 'Hunkaroonie Beefcakes of Twitch Calendar'. Please send close up donger pics. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

Dennis in a time machine

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. “Dennis,” Kripp speaks breathlessly into the night. “Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here.” A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked “Top Deck.” Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. “We will see who says "Salt" now,” he says….
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

UNLEASHING THE BANHAMMER

twitchquotes: RUN GUYS! HE IS UNLEASHING THE BANHAMMER! ᕕKappaᕗ ᕕKappaᕗ ᕕKappaᕗ ᕕKappaᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

A card game that requires an intense amount of skill

twitchquotes: Nice job kripp! You won at a card game that requires an intense amount of skill. I pray that my sons will be like you and win card games with the amount of skill that you win with! If not I'll sacrifice them to RNGesus and pray that they are decent and competent enough to be as incredible as you!
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver

twitchquotes: ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴍʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ-ᴛʀᴜᴄᴋ-ᴅʀɪᴠᴇʀ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ 69 ᴛᴏɴs ᴏꜰ ᴩᴜʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴍᴏᴜs sᴀʟᴛᴍɪɴᴇ "üʙᴇʀᴋäᴋᴇɴᴋᴏᴛᴢɴ" ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴩs. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ! ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ sɪʀ! ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hey guys I'll be playing HS today

twitchquotes: BrokeBack Hey guys I'll be playing HS today BrokeBack Watch as I play children cards and whine about RNG for 6 hours BrokeBack How fun and interactive! BrokeBack Please join the 5 dollar club for more amazing content BrokeBack
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing