[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, Iโ€™m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasnโ€™t fapping I swear to god I just randomlyโ€ฆ.. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/pqk2ac/strangest_experience/
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Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here

twitchquotes: Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here, I mean I thought this was supposed to be "the worst chat in twitch" and this is all you got!? The KPM in this chat is WAY too low, it is actually depressing. How am I supposed to enjoy chat without dongers, "FrankerZ's", and the occasional elephant?
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November 2014
imaqtpie

Reynad's peak performance in salt manufacturing

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad I am Terry Davison from the Texas Salt making factory. Our buisness would like to invest in your salt revenues as we have sensed a peak performance. Pls no pepper.
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

American Freedom speaking to Kripp

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แด›สœษชs ษชs แด€แดแด‡ส€ษชแด„แด€ษด า“ส€แด‡แด‡แด…แดแด. สแดแดœส€ แด„สœแด€แด› า“ษชสŸแด›แด‡ส€s แด€ส€แด‡ ส€แดœษชษดษชษดษข แด›สœแด‡ แด„สœแด€แด› sแด แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ า“ษชx ษชแด› ส™แด‡า“แดส€แด‡ ษชแด› แด›แด€แด‹แด‡s แดแด แด‡ส€. sษชษดแด„แด‡ส€แด‡สŸส *** ****. แด˜สŸs ษดแด แด„แดแด˜ส แด€สŸ แด˜แด€แด„ษชษดแด ***ษชษดแด ****ส€ษชษดแด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I'm a new Jerma fan, please send help

I'm a new Jerma fan, please send help What the hell is this guy doing!? I first checked in the middle of his Watchdogs stream few days ago, and he claims to be getting 60fps (despite it looking like 6). I assumed he was just having hardware issues, so I exited the stream for a while and came back. But, as soon as I checked his stream, he was yelling "OOEY-GOOEY CHEESE!" to some sandwich tier lists. What kind of master's degree do you need to understand the complexities of this person?!
January 2022
Jerma985

boatyVV

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–›โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–›โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2018
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