[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America

twitchquotes: ★  ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸  ★  :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * . .  ¸ .   °  ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere   ° ☾ °  ¸. ● ¸ .  ★ ° :.  . • °   .  * :. .in a parallel universe* ● ¸     ° ☾ °☆  . * ¸.   ★ ★ ° . .    . ☾ °☆  . * ● ¸ ..EUROPE...° ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ ° :.  . • ○ ° ★  .  * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA ☾ ★ °● ¸ .   ★ °
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

Squidward

─────▄████████████▄──── ───▄▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄─── ───█░░░░█████████░░█▄── ─██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██─ ██░░█████████████░░░░██ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░█ █░░░████░█████░░░░░░░░█ █░░████████████░░░░░░░█ █░░█─██─█─██──██░░░░░░█ ▀▄░█─▀▀─█─▀▀──█░░░░░▄█▀ ─▀██▄▄▄▄█▄────█░░▄▄█▀── ─▄█░░░░░░█▄▄▄▄▀░░█───── ▄█░░░░░░█▀░░░░░░░▀▀█▄── █░░░░░░█▌░▄██████▄░░█── █░░░░░░░███████████░█── █░░░░░░░██░░█░░░██░░█── ▀█░░░░░██░░░░░░██░░█─── ─▀▀▀▀▀█░████████░░█──── ──────▀▄░░░░░░░░░█─────
August 2018

Is KogMaw's passive account specific?

twitchquotes: Hi Michael, I saw Doublelift playing Kogmaw yesterday and he didn't seem to have the same cool passive you have. Was his game bugged or is the passive account specific?
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Barry Bee Benson (Bee Movie)

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April 2021

Stimulus talks going well in 2946

The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well. The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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