[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, Iโ€™m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasnโ€™t fapping I swear to god I just randomlyโ€ฆ.. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Easter emoji pasta

HEY ALL U EASTER BUNNY๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ HOES!!! Today is ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰Easter!! You know what that means๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”??? Itโ€™s time to HOP over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ u like a rabbit!! Gotta get those Easter day cummies!! After u and daddy FUCK ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ’ฆ then itโ€™s time for โ›ช๏ธchurchโ›ช๏ธ!!! Get ready for that HOLY DICK๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ because jesus is CUMMING๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ back from the dead today to FUCK THAT EASTER BUNNY PUSSY๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰. Then itโ€™s time for the egg hunt ๐Ÿ•ต๐Ÿ•ต๐Ÿ•ต!!! U better find an egg!! Search in every HOLE๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜ฉ CRACK ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ and CREVICE ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜ for the GRAND PRIZE ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿ˜‡ getting that ๐Ÿต๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒบPASTEL PUSSY๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฃ๐ŸŒฎ RODE ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ‡ into the Easter sunset! Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ HOES๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ. If u get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! If u get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back ur a LOADED ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ EASTER BASKET. If you get 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆIN UR RABBIT ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ‡๐ŸฐHOLE TONIGHT!!!!
April 2022

Holiday Emoji

Easter

Holiday

Blessings to you, Oh Salty One

twitchquotes: Blessings to you, Oh Salty One. This is Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church. My son, why do you avoid choosing Priest for your arena runs? Are you so afraid of attaining Salvation? It worries me that you prefer playing the murderous rogue or the destructive mage to the humble priest. You have sinned much already through your veganism, but atonement can be reached through more Priest runs. Thank you and God Bless.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

You subs are still plebs

twitchquotes: You subs are still plebs, in the eyes of the elite, everyone is a pleb. Just because you paid 5 dollars to watch free entertainment dosent mean you arent a pleb. I like how subs try to make themselves feel better by calling everyone else plebs, because they pay 5 dollars a month to spam stupid emotes and have a little icon next to their name.
twitch chat
April 2017

plebs vs subs

Kripp will come in your room tonight

twitchquotes: hello my name is Kripp, i died to a top deck 10 rounds ago. unless u send this to copy and paste this 10 times, i will come in your room tonight and whine at you. i look like a 35 year old vegan without any luck. i will show up every night you have seven min to post it or else.
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Please quit calling it "Victory Fap"

twitchquotes: Would you guys please quit calling it "Victory Fap"? I find it very offensive, and I'm sure Rania does too, that you think Kripp can only become aroused through dominance in a child's card game. Please grow up chat, thanks
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing