[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
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Anonymous (Guy Fawkes)

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February 2021

amogus made people think I'm racist

My teacher was showing us a video and the narrator was some Indian guy with a heavy accent. My friend was smiling and I smiled back. The teacher caught us and told us not to make fun of people's accents. I did genuinely felt sorry so I tried to be serious. Then my mind started thinking about dumb shit and I was trying to not laugh. I told myself to be serious then my mind fucking thinks "amogus". I couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed loud enough to get everyone's attention. Now everyone thinks I was laughing at the Indian guy and that I'm racist.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Saying C9 at the end of every round

twitchquotes: Hi guys HeyGuys I'm one of the people who say C9 at the end of every round HeyGuys I admit we know what a C9 is but it's just funny to say all the time <3 That's all (^:
twitch chat
September 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Imaqtpie has mastered Kog'Maw's passive

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie, this is David 'Repertoir' Capurro, the lead designer on Kog'Maw back in 2010. Watching you play my champion really warms my heart, and I think you're one of the good guys. You've even mastered his passive!
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing