[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police

twitchquotes: Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police. You are in violation of Penal Code 420: Not Playing The Meta. You are hereby sentenced to 69 years in jail with Scarra and Dyrone.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

It's me, your only Viewer

twitchquotes: Hi [streamer name]- It’s me, your only Viewer. For Months I have created the illusion that you are streaming to a large audience. But here’s the truth: all these people in the chat are me. And now, for you to be convinced of this, I will send this message from all my accounts.
twitch chat
March 2021

Stuck in Kripp's basement

twitchquotes: |̅|(̅|̅◉̅|̅◡̅|̅◔̅|̅)̅| HELP I'M STUCK IN KRIPP'S BASEMENT |̅|(̅|̅◉̅|̅◡̅|̅◔̅|̅)̅|
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

what is the point of spamming in chat?

twitchquotes: what is the point of spamming in chat?? all you do is send some pixels to some other guy in his 30's who is pretending to be an idiot... wow what an accomplishment 󠀀
twitch chat
January 2022

I hate Twitch Chat

As a MOTHER, I am OUTRAGED

twitchquotes: imaqtpie WHAT THE FUCK, where is your DAMN viewer age RESTRICTION?! This shit you put on your stream is too SCARY for kids, you need to warn people. As a MOTHER, I am OUTRAGED.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing