Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, Iβm just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasnβt fapping I swear to god I just randomlyβ¦.. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
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Is that your knee or you just excited to see me?
twitchquotes:
( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) is that your knee or you just excited to see me? ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
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Kripp
So that was a bruh moment
twitchquotes:
She said she was βpregnant,β but I wasnβt buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
Same
twitchquotes:
The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: βIβm proud of you.β Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
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Sneaky
League of Legends
Yee
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
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Halloween Mercy
twitchquotes:
πGuysπ, Iβm π²shakingπ². Iβm fuckingπ² shakingπ². I never wanted to ππππbreed ππππwith anyone more than I want to with ππ»Halloween π»βοΈMercy.βοΈποΈ That π―perfect,π― β³curvy β³πbody.π Those πbountifulπ πbreastsπ. The πͺchild πͺbearingπ hipsπ of a πΌοΈπliteral goddessππΌοΈ. It honestly fucking π³π³hurtsπ³π³ knowing that Iβll neverβ€π
πmate β€π
πwith her, β¬passβ¬ my πgenesπ through her, and have her πbirthπ a set of πͺπ―perfect offspring.π―πͺ Iβd do fuckingπ°π°π° ANYTHING π°π°
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