[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

A girl... AND a gamer?

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
March 2021

Classic

monkaS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⠟⠋⠉⠁⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠸⠄⢀⣀⠠⠤⠤⣀⡀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠾⠂⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠦⠘⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣧⣄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣙⢿ ⠁⢸⠀⠸⠅⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡉⠙⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⡉⢻⣿⡆ ⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣶⡿⠟⠸⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠶⠬⠾⠿⢃ ⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⠤⠬⠭⠁⣤⠤⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠠⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡄⠒⠒⠂⠰⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡈⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣧⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⣛⡶⠶⠶⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⠿⠛⣡⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⣶⣶⣶⡶⢟⣸⣿⣿ ⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠒⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Squidward Dab

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠲⠦⠉⠉⠉⠏⠉⠒⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠲⠃⢀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠲⠂⠀⠠⠆⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠊⠁⠀⢁⡴⠚⠉⣉⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠠⠤⠔⠒⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⢰⠆⠀⠋⣠⠔⠉⠁⣀⡠⠄⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⣠⠔⠋⢁⡔⠒⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⡶⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⢀⣀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠊⠁⠀⢀⡀⣴⡿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠘⠀⡞⠁⠀⠉⢇⠀⣿⣄⠀⠈⡆⠀⠕⠒⠉⣉⡒⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠊⠁⢀⡠⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⡀⠀⠀⢇⠀⣤⡄⠈⢢⡈⠻⡖⢀⡞⣀⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠉⠐⠒⠠⢎⢁⡠⠔⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⢂⠘⢿⣦⡇⠉⠓⢶⡫⠞⠁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠴⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠦⠭⡇⠀⡠⠊⠀⣠⣮⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⢀⠔⡧⠊⠀⢀⡜⠁⠙⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⣡⠎⠀⠀⢠⠊⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⣰⣧⣀⣀⡠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⣤⣤⣾⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⡰⢤⣀⣀⡄⢠⠞⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021

Jump from ego to elo

twitchquotes: If i ever want to kill myself i will just jump from Minikerrs ego to his ELO 4Head
twitch chat
May 2017
Minikerr

League of Legends

I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps

twitchquotes: Trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your *** tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will *** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re *** dead, kiddo.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing