[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
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More Copypastas

So you're going by "X Æ A-12" now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by "X Æ A-12" now nerd? Haha whats up loony, it's Tanner from Mars. Remember me? Me and the Martians used to give you a hard time in terraforming facility. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember L Æ LA-3 the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and fly a reusable space rocket. I guess some things never change huh Earthling? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic..
twitch chat
May 2020

Tanner from High School

That's some good shit right there

twitchquotes: 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
twitch chat
September 2015

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Spaghetti out of Kripp's underwear

twitchquotes: I love spaghetti, its actually my passion. I have always wanted to eat Greek spaghetti, specifically out of Kripp's underwear where his dongers are Kappa
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Chug jug with you (lyrics)

We got a... 1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!) Ten kills on the board right now Just wiped out Tomato Town My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) He said.. "Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?" "I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP." "Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari." "I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet." "There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!" I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend. I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer! Cool.. pro.. Fortnite? (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2 La, lA AUGHH La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?) Pro Fortnite Gamer.. Can we get a win this weekend? Take me to Loot Lake! Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate! Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone! I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone! Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro! He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack! I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale.. (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus)
March 2021

Fortnite

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing