[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Here 💦 CUMS 💦 SANTA (Christmas Emoji Pasta)

Here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 right down 👩🏽👸🏽slutty girl lane!👩🏽👸🏽 ❌🚫❌🚫STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!❌🚫❌🚫 Is your 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 not giving you enough 💦💦💦cummies?!💦💦💦 Hold up,🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽 ho! It's 💦💦cummy💦💦 ❄️💦❄️SEASON!❄️💦❄️ Push✋🏽✋🏽 that 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 to the ⏩⏩side⏩⏩ and let a 👌🏽NEW👌🏽 father in 🏡YOUR CHIMNEY!! 🏡 🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽Father CHRISTMAS,🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽 the 👑👑KING👑👑 of 💦cummies!💦 That's right,👍🏼 he's been making 👧🏽little👧🏽 👧🏽girls👧🏽 squishy for 6️⃣ CENTURIES. Don't ❎❎ mind the old saying; he ONLY makes the 💦😫😫😈NAUGHTIEST😈😫😫💦girls ☁️squishy☁️! So send this to all the 😼nastiest😼 👧🏽girls👧🏽 you know and share❗️Those❗️Cummies❗️Get 0️⃣ back and you're a basic 🌑🌑coal-slinging bitch.🌑🌑 Get 5️⃣ back and you get 👅eaten👅 like 🍪cookies🍪and 👅💦slurped💦👅 like 🍼milk!🍼 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and 🎅🏽Santa's🎅🏽 big 🍆🍆COCK🍆🍆 will grow⏫⏫ 3️⃣ sizes inside of you!😫😩 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you become Mrs. Claus, and get 🍑🍌🍆yummy 🍒🍭🍼nummy 🍼💦☁️squishy🍼💦☁️ 💧💧cummies💧💧 until next ⏩🌨☃Christmas!🌨☃
December 2021

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Twitch logo

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April 2021

I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022

Elephant

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November 2014

Kurumx's head with a bird

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣴⣶⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣩⣬⣭⠻⣿⣀⣿⣿⣿⢟⣤⠄⠈⠄⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣤⣒⠲⠶⢿⣘⣛⣻⠿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠈⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⢀⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣻ ⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠻⠻⠻⢿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾ ⣿⡿⢿⡀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⠋⣧⠄⢀⠈⠉⠈⢀⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻ ⣿⣧⣤⣭⡄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⢙⣿⣦⣼⣶⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣿⣝⣿⠏⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing