[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Please don't use Kappa

twitchquotes: I am from Japan and was raised hearing terrifying stories about kappas from my grandfather. Those are horrible turtle-like monsters who lure and kill children. And then I join this site and see you use it as a joke with a grey faced man. This is not right! I am scared of using the chat now, bringing me bad memories. Please, don't use that emote.
twitch chat
September 2020

Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

South Korea is an amazing country to visit!

twitchquotes: South Korea is an amazing country to visit! Be sure to see London, Korea's pride and joy. Then relax on the sandy beaches of Florida, only 30 min away from Seoul
twitch chat
April 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

AYAYA pyramid

twitchquotes: ______ AYAYA only real Ayaa can build the perfect pyramid AYAYA AYAYA . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA And my pyramid still higher!!!! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA yes I am very good look!! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA one more u say ? AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA for fun ok !!
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Running dog

β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β•²β–•β–‹β–•β–‹β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–”β–”β–”β–†β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β•±β”ˆβ•°β”³β”³β”³β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β•²β•±β•²β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–•β–”β•°β”β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ–”β•²β•²β•±β•±β–”β•±β–”β–”β•²β•²β•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β–‚β•²β–‚β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing