[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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twitchquotes: ( Ν‘Β° Νœβ—― ( Ν‘Β° Νœβ—― ( Ν‘Β° Νœβ—― Ν‘Β°) YOU CAME TO THE WRONG CIRCUS ( Ν‘Β° Νœβ—― ( Ν‘Β° Νœβ—― ( Ν‘Β° Νœβ—― Ν‘Β°)
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Aye Yuh Uh Skrrrt Yuh I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32) Instrumental break I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32)
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