[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, Iโ€™m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasnโ€™t fapping I swear to god I just randomlyโ€ฆ.. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Guys please be careful before posting

twitchquotes: Guys please be careful before posting, I see some messages posted multiple times by mistake this is actually very annoying and cringe, read chat first to make sure your message wasn't already posted :D
twitch chat
February 2020

Red crew mate

๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Žโ€Ž โ€Ž๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

That's some bad shit right there

twitchquotes: do NOT sign me the FUCK up ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€ bad shit baฬทฬถ ิ sHit ๐Ÿ‘Ž thats โŒ some bad ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Žshit right ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž th ๐Ÿ‘Ž ere ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž right โŒ there โŒ โŒ if i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ†๐Ÿšซ i say so ๐Ÿšซ thats not what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต— แต—สฐแต‰สณแต‰) mMMMMแŽทะœ ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽะO0ะžเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽBad shit
twitch chat
April 2016

AITA for wanting to play Fortnite?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
March 2021

Fortnite

Am I The Asshole?

Hello Kripp this is Saul Goodman

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แด›สœษชs ษชs sแด€แดœสŸ ษขแดแดแด…แดแด€ษด. ษช'แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ษชษดา“แดส€แดแด‡แด… ส™ส แด‡แด…แด…ส แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แดษชษดษข ษชสŸสŸแด‡ษขแด€สŸ แด„แดษดแด›แด‡ษดแด› า“ส€แดแด สแดแดœส€ sแด‡แด„ส€แด‡แด› ส™แด€sแด‡แดแด‡ษดแด› ษชษด ษขส€แด‡แด‡แด„แด‡. ษช แดกแดแดœสŸแด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แด›แด สœแด€แด แด‡ สแดแดœ แด€s แดส แด„สŸษชแด‡ษดแด› แด›แด แด˜ส€แดแด›แด‡แด„แด› สแดแดœ ษชษด แด„แดแดœส€แด› า“ส€แดแด แด›สœแดsแด‡ า“ษชสŸแด›สœส แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€s แด€ษดแด… แด˜ส€แดsแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแดs แด›สœแด€แด› สœแด€แด แด‡ แด€แด„แด„แดœsแด‡แด… สแดแดœ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing