[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Master Hand

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢿⣿⣿⢀⡀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠉⠙⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢤⣤⣴⠀⠁⠀⠘⠋⠰⣿⣿⡟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣿⣿⠄⠈⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣧⣤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⢆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

Don Han'Cho tells Kripp to disenchant his collection

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp its Don Han'Cho SMOrc SMOrc from da grimy goons. I got a job for yah. I know about a warehouse holding thousands of pounds of arcane dust. I got a tip that this place is called "collecteen manajaire" sounds french or somethin I don know. Anyways what I want you to do is da sneak in to dis place and look for a button called "deez ench ant". You whack dat and da goons will take care of da rest. You game?
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Big eyes NaM

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣟⣻⡍⠉⠉⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣾⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣦⣤⣀⠈⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⣼⣿⡟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠈⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣧⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣷⠄⠚⢧⠸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢀⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⢸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⠿⣿⡆⠈⣿⣿⣿⠄⣾⡟⠁⠄⢳⠄⠄⣤⠠⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠸⣿⡀⢀⠽⠁⢀⡿⣿⣿⡄⠹⢿⣦⣤⡾⠄⠄⠉⠄⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠄⠄⠈⠃⢀⣦⣬⣁⣤⣤⣴⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⠄⠄⢠⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣤⡲⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡈⡟⠛⢛⡛⡛⠻⠦⠅⠪⠽⠬⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣼⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠙⢙⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⡮⢿⡿⢿⣹⢿⡳⣱⣿⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⠦⣬⣛⠶⠶⣶⣷⣶⡶⠠⠘⣣⢉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⢿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⢞⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣝⣻⠿⠿⣋⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019

Weather forecast for today, lots of salt

twitchquotes: ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ノ☂ ʷᵉᵃᵗʰᵉʳ ᶠᵒʳᵉᶜᵃˢᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ - ˡᵒᵗˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵃˡᵗ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ☂ ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`ヽ`、ヽヽ`
twitch chat
January 2019

salty

NA at worlds

twitchquotes: 4Head No matter how many imports I choose 4Head I still continue to lose 4Head and then I make an excuse 4Head you guessed it right I'm from NA 4Head my screen is always grey 4Head when at worlds I play 4Head
twitch chat
October 2018

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing