[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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SMOrc

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October 2020

New agent idea: Hog rider

New agent idea: Hog rider As maney of you know, over the past few years of playeing this game almost everyone wants riot to add hog rider into valrant. I know the devlapers dont wana add Hog rider into valrant becuse hes got a Hammer and likes rideing on pigs which is OP IN reaal life. However, i Spent a lot of my time the past few minute to think of a way to make him Not op in valrant like Rana(Which hackers like to use). Here is my idea: Hog rider design: https://preview.redd.it/oemu1mzky2g61.jpg?width=1143&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d580b7c34983f32f178f65b9a86310db6bfde9cc This is what hog rider would look like in valrant Abilitys: C (cost 238$ dolars) - Jumpeing ability. When you press this abilty, You can jump Q(cost 192.82$ dollrars) - Hammer abilty. Press this abilty and you turn your Gun into a hamer. The hammer is like the knife except when You swinging the hamer at someone it looks Dangareous. E (main abilitey. recharge every few Minutes)- Battle cry. When you press the E buton, your Micraphone is broadcast on the whole map so evrayone can hear you talkeing. Then your alowed to make batle cry noise like clash clans hog rider. X (ultra abilty cost 4 ulltra orb)s - When you press ultra abilaity, all of Your team gets to ride hogs. This is good because The hog your rideing on gets friends and your team mates get hog rider. For example: Cifer and Brimestone can be rideing hogs when hog rider use the ultra Pasive abilty: hog
February 2021

Valorant

I'm posting this from my neighbor's wi-fi with teary eyes

twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm here from Maple Story, just wanted to say that I can see why you were being a bunch of immature children in chat - seeing as you literally play a kids game. Honestly, it's just sad seeing you losers spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack or whatever. Grow up!
twitch chat
January 2019

EVO

Twitch Chat Examination Team

twitchquotes: Hello this is the Twitch Chat Examination Team here with anther experiment. We are testing how quickly a message typed into chat is copied and pasted by the mindless hordes. Please, if you're reading this, spread awareness for our cause.
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing