[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Mike Ehrmantraut from Breaking Bad

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢠ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣻⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣽⣾⣻⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⡿⠿⠟⠛⣟⣿⣽⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠍⠈⠀⠁⣴⡆⠀⠀⠠⢭⣮⣿⡶⠀⠀ ⠀⡴⠲⣦⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣩⣨⣀⡄⣐⣾⣿⣿⣇⠠⣷⣶⣿⣿⡠⠁⠀ ⠀⠃⢀⡄⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⢿⣿⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡟⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠣⠧⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢸⣿⠿⠿⠿⣧⠙⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠼⣒⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⣬⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣷⡈⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠗⠼⠖⠒⠔⠉⠉⠻⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⣤⡄⠸⣰⣾⡒⣷⣴⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⢸⡗⡄⠘⠭⣭⣷⣿⣮⣠⣌⣫⣿⣷⣿⣿⠃⠀⠈⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⣿⣾⣷⣦⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⠞⣹⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⠀⠘⢻⡿⢿⣋⣤⣤⠌⠉⠛⠛⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀
May 2022

DrDisRespect

⠄⠄⠈⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣀⣀⡀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⡄⢴⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢀⡈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⢠⣿⡸⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠴⠶⠯⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠄⣿⣷⣽⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠎ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣶⡄⠄⢊⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⠟⠛⠛⠃⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⡮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣾ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠲⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣶⣶⣷⣦⣼⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣒⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⡯⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

Your anime dreams will not happen

You will never be Japanese. You will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutiepie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime. You will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations. You'll always be a loser.
February 2021

Weebs

Sad Crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠟⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⠟⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠁⠀⢸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⠟⠁⠀⢸⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢻⣶⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⡶⠂⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⢹⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠸⢿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀
January 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing