Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
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More Copypastas
Instagram Black Squares
twitchquotes:
My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you
twitch chat
I hate Moonmoon_ow's chat so much
twitchquotes:
I hate Moonmoon_ow's chat so much. All they do is spam a stupid copy pasta or some other moronic emote and circlejerk with each other. Why can't they do something productive with their lives? I tell everyone on Reddit about this and they all agree that Twitch Chat is ridiculous and stupid. And they all hope that they get Moonmoon_ow's attention by spamming, rather than having intelligent discussions with others and the streamer, I'm going back to Reddit.
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr
twitchquotes:
Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr (2000+) 
keep chat high quality
keep chat high quality
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff
twitchquotes:
Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
Kripp
salty
Hungrybox at a grocery store
I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and rested me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
Hungrybox