[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
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More Copypastas

Holy Champion: how many fingers do you see?

twitchquotes: ╭∩╮( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ How many fingers do you see? ╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
October 2015
Kibler

my dream is full of monkaS in chat

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 ⚠️ ATTENTION ⚠️ my dream is full of monkaS in chat, pls help me fulfill my dream monkaS ☝️
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June 2017

Only the chosen one can fist both asses

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both asses. ⎝ Kreygasm ⎠
twitch chat
June 2016

Deez Nuts

⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠈⢻⣧⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣿⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⣠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⢀⣀⣾⠏⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⠋⣴⡟⠋⠛⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠘⣿⡄⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⢿⣾⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠈⠿⠿⠀⠈⠻⠶⠶⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠸⠇⠀⠀⠻⠶⠶⠿⠃
April 2022

Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing