[Copypasta] Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Wolf moon

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣆⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣴⠾⠟⢛⣿⡿⠋⠙⠛⠛⢿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⣴⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2020

Ming like a Lee

twitchquotes: Fly like a butterfly (ノ ̄ー ̄)ノ Sting like a bee (┌゚д゚)┌ RNG pls bless me ヾ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ♪ Ming like a Lee ヽ MingLee ノ♪♬
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Mr I'm too dank to call or write my fans

twitchquotes: dear mr im too dank to call or write my fans. this is the last meme ill ever send your ass. its been 6 months and still no accept. i dont deserve it? i know you got my last two friend requests i wrote the memes on em perfect. i love you cutie, we culdve been together think about it
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

A boy asked a girl in a library

twitchquotes: A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"? The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!! All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed. After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is think, I guess you felt embarrassed,right? The guy responded with a loud voice :$300 for one night That's too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.
twitch chat
August 2020

Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing