[Copypasta] Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Watching Thijs in the bathroom

twitchquotes: Ahhh, my favorite part of the day. After lunch, a take a break from work, lock myself in the office bathroom pretending to take a dump while I watch my favorite streamer, Thijs. Just hope my boss doesn't come knocking, otherwise I'm fired...
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September 2020
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Albert Einstein and Arteezy's farm

twitchquotes: Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds to ever live, was once perplexed by the speed at which Arteezy was able to farm. Seemingly impossible GPMs of 800+ every game were consistently observed, leading to the hypothesis that this was no fluke. Einstein spent the last years of his life trying to prove the ability of Arteezy's farm existed within the laws of science. Critics laughed at his efforts, claiming that Arteezy's farm was an undeniable act of divine intervention. It wasn't until the end when Einstein found the answer. On his deathbed, Einstein spent the last seconds of his life jotting down what is now the world's most infamous scientific formula. r=tz²
twitch chat
November 2014
Arteezy

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Ameng’s cheeks as he squatted on Bumper’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Ameng’s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

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UNO skip card

⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣾⡿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀ ⢸⣿⢠⠞⣩⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⡆ ⢸⣿⣄⣈⣉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡟⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⣴⣿⣿⢿⣿⠿⠋⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣋⠛⢿⣿⠀ ⢸⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠞⣡⡼⢸⣿⠀ ⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣥⣴⣿⠟⠀
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Classic

Frodan, be nicer to Kripp

twitchquotes: "Frodan, be nicer to Kripp," Reynad says in his office at Tempo Storm HQ. "I was just having a laugh," replies Frodan. "I know, but he's a casual and sensitive. Apologize to him. I'm inviting him over to 'cast' a 'tournament' and want him in a good mood," Reynad winks. Frodan bows and says, "Yes master."
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing