[Copypasta] George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was “sexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

my friend is intellectually inferior for me for being christian

Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
December 2020

Hunters are compelled by a mysterious force to attack face

twitchquotes: After months of careful and thorough research, I have discovered that Hunters, quite literally, do NOT have the capacity to trade minions. They are physically unable to attack an opponents minion with one of theirs. They a compelled by some mysterious force to mindlessly attack the face of their opponent.
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house

twitchquotes: Michael, this is Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort has infiltrated the Dignitas house and killed Scarra. The legend says the one that carrys the mark of the donger on his forehead is destined to stop the dark lord. Please Michael avenge Scarra!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Scream (Ghostface)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⠴⠛⠙⣿⣿⡿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⡖⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⡏⠄⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⢸⣧⣤⣤⣤⢾⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⢻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⡟⠉⠉⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⣿⡆⠄⠄⢠⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠿⢿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⢀⡼⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄HAPPY ⠙⢿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠃⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄HALLOWEEN ⠙
October 2021

Halloween

Text-to-Speech Playing