[Copypasta] George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was “sexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
twitch chat
July 2019
Tyler1

My attraction for Thijs is purely platonic

twitchquotes: My attraction for Thijs is purely platonic. I want to wake up and smell his hazel hair pressed up against my cheek, then get up and make a delicious breakfast for us before I go off to work. Then when I get home I will play Hearthstone with him until we fall asleep together, holding hands and whispering each other's name
twitch chat
January 2019
Thijs

Female Amogus Crewmate v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠖⠛⠓⠲⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣏⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠋⠉⠀⠈⠉⠻⣄⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣉⠉⣉⢉⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠳⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡠⠴⢿⣿⠋⠉⣹⠻⢿⣿⣿⣤⣴⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠛⠀⠀⢹⡟⠻⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⣶⣤⣤⠀ ⢠⣿⣷⣿⣿⠟⣛⣇⠀⠀⠀⣈⡷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠈⠙⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠋⢁⣼⣏⣡⣤⣤⢐⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠙⠿⣿⣷⢤⣀⡀⢸⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣄⠈⢡⣾⣉⡤⠚⣩⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣈⡙⠻⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠈⠻⣯⡴⠋⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣿⢶⣤⣿⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠙⢻⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠽⣿⣽⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⡿⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠿⠀⠈⠻⣷⣿⣿⡇⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡰⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager?

twitchquotes: Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager? And I'm referring to a Don Han'Cho'd, Blessed Champion'd Magma Rager, with a pre-nerfed Master of Disguise stealth, a Wee Spellstopper on one side, a Dire Wolf Alpha on the other side, an Ancestral Spirit, a Murloc racial tag, golden animations, a pre-nerf Blood Imp supporting it, with Windfury, Charge, Taunt and Divine Shield, Deathrattle: Replace your hero with the above-described Magma Rager?
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

Sorry, I dropped my chess set

twitchquotes: ♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟♙♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ Sorry, I've dropped my chess set ♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟♙♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟♙♗ ♘ ♟ ♛ ♕ ♜ ♞ ♟♛ ♙♗ ♘
twitch chat
September 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing