Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class.
I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
All Cops Are Sus (ACAS)
Instead of saying ACAB(all cops are bastar*ds) we should start saying ACAS(all cops are sus). Think about it, it's less offensive and it only shows that we think that a cop might be sus(suspicious) of something but not necesseraly guilty of it. It's the same thing in the popular game amogus with thinking that all red players are impostors really. This might sound stupid but hear me out. Statistically, every player regardless of their color has the same chance of being the impostor, yet, there is this social stigma that only red players are impostors. However, players of Amugus have developed this great system that will help them show their suspicion on someone without saying that they are the impostor(in case that they actually aren't). They say that someone is 'sus' so nobody gets their feelings hurt. We can apply this knowledge to the real world, right? If everyone can be an impostor in amongsus, regardless of their color, so can anyone be a bastard in real world, regardless of their task(job as some low inteligence individuals might call it).
Among Us / Amogus
I sexually identify as Rick Harrison
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as Rick Harrison. For 21 years I dreamed of working at my very own pawn shop with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Call me retarded but I don’t care, I’m getting plasticsurgery to install 18th century muskets and vintage movieposters on my body. You can now refer to me as Rick Harrison and respect my right to not know WHAT is gonna come through that door. If you can't acceptme you're a pawnphobe and need to check your door privileges. Thank you for having a story and a price.
twitch chat
Rick Harrison
I sexually Identify as
⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!
So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
Coronavirus
COVID
Vaccines
Greggnog
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
Classic
Harvest Jack Raid Shadow Legends ad
SPOOKY, you don’t wanna run into this pumpkin, harvest jack is one scary champion if you wanna see him shine put him in the arena, his fear ability turns good to bad and bad to worse. With his sythe and glowing eyes, harvest jack is scary, you want him on your side in RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, download now and play for free