[Copypasta] I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Letโ€™s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts donโ€™t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
September 2020

Ben Shapiro

So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump

twitchquotes: So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump... which was pretty cool. I was wondering why he was in the "woman's hygeine" section of the store.... He caught on to what I was thinking and held up some tampons. "For my girlfriend", he said, giggling nervously. But he doesn't have a GF. I think they were for HIM!
twitch chat
October 2014
Trump

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICKโ€™S ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒฝ DAYโ€ผ๏ธ Time โฐโฐ to honor the DADDIES ๐Ÿ‘ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฌ of our nation ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ George SLUTsington ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘ฏ, Benjamin SPANKlin๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘, John HanCOCK ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ These POUNDING ๐Ÿ”จโš’ fathers ERECTED โฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธ their ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒfor LADY LIBERTY ๐Ÿ—ฝ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ™€ Raise that ASS ๐Ÿ‘ to ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ Abraham LinCUM ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ, ๐ŸŒฒ WOODrow Wilson ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€BarCOCK Obama ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ Donโ€™t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜ฉ DICKlared war ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ’ฃ on those CUMMIES ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’‚๐Ÿ’‚ Share in โ™‹๏ธ SUCKonds or you wonโ€™t be pounding ๐Ÿ”จthat presidential PUSSY ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ™€ Get 5๏ธโƒฃ back and ur a White House HOE ๐Ÿ  Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state ๐Ÿ“”๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ HAPPY JIZZIDENTโ€™S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

I miss Julio the donkey

twitchquotes: Hello, my name its Juan Pastas Copyrino. Sorry my england. Last week donkey Julio died outside of the house. I loved Julio. Every day we ride to work together. I also spoke donkey language better than my england. Julio and me always talked for hours about business and the political situation here. But now Julio is in donkey heaven. I miss him
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Kripp gets in trouble exploiting Noz and jousting

twitchquotes: (ยทฬฟฤนฬฏยทฬฟ ฬฟ)" Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about your Noz deck and jousting exploit. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp (ยทฬฟฤนฬฏยทฬฟ ฬฟ)
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing