[Copypasta] I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Mom, twitch chat is not a documentary on Nazis!

twitchquotes: My mom just walked into my room and asked why I was watching a documentary on Hitlers top officers. I told her "No mom it's just twitch chat mods" She called me a Jew hater and burned a Swastika into my forehead.
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August 2014
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You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
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what a underwhelming genesis

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Sadge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⣉⣉⠙⠿⠋⣠⢴⣊⣙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⢀⠔⡩⠔⠒⠛⠧⣾⠊⢁⣀⣀⣀⡙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡡⠊⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣌⣾⣿⠏⠀⡈⢿⡜ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⣤⣶⠏⢁⠈⢻⡏⠙⠛⠀⣀⣁⣤⢢ ⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣄⡀⠣⣌⡙⠀⣘⡁⠜⠈⠑⢮⡭⠴⠚⠉⠀ ⠁⠀⢀⠔⠁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⣠⢠ ⡀⠀⢸⠀⢼⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣟⣛⣛⡿⠷⠶⠶⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣾⡿⠿⣫⣾ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⢗⣿⣿ ⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

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