[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
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Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver

twitchquotes: ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴍʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ-ᴛʀᴜᴄᴋ-ᴅʀɪᴠᴇʀ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ 69 ᴛᴏɴs ᴏꜰ ᴩᴜʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴍᴏᴜs sᴀʟᴛᴍɪɴᴇ "üʙᴇʀᴋäᴋᴇɴᴋᴏᴛᴢɴ" ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴩs. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ! ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ sɪʀ! ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

TSM AKA "Throws Six Matches"

twitchquotes: TSM AKA "Throws Six Matches" is a North American team known for their questionable play and inability to win a game. They are currently found in Gate 06 of the Shanghai Pudong Airport making up excuses for not winning a single game at Worlds.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021

Rasputin

⡯⣫⢯⡫⣏⢯⢯⢯⢯⢯⣟⡿⠛⠉⠁⠐⣿⢿⣟⡿⣽⣻⣽⣟⣿⢿⣿⣿⣟⡿⣿⢽⣻⢽⡯⣟⡽⣯⣻⢽⢯⣻⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽ ⡯⣺⣕⢯⢾⢽⢽⡽⣿⠛⠁⠄⢀⢀⠄⢅⢴⣿⢾⣽⣯⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠈⠙⠿⣯⢿⣳⡯⣯⢟⡾⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⣽ ⡯⣺⢮⢯⡳⡯⡷⡿⠃⢀⢔⢈⠐⠨⠨⢂⠩⣽⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠐⡐⡔⠄⠄⢀⠄⢈⠙⢯⣿⡽⣯⢯⢿⡽⣽⢽⢽⢽⢽⣽ ⣟⢮⡻⡮⡯⡿⣿⠄⠌⠂⠂⢀⠂⡄⢄⣔⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⢄⠠⣢⡖⠝⡂⢀⠄⠂⢀⠂⡂⠸⣿⣟⣿⢽⡽⣽⢽⢯⣟⣗⣿ ⣗⢯⢯⢯⣟⣽⡿⢀⠆⢀⠠⣐⠈⠎⠫⢈⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⢀⠢⡝⡚⠁⠄⠄⠄⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠡⠘⢿⣻⣽⢯⣗⣟⣗⣗⡷⣽ ⡯⣫⡯⣗⡷⣿⡇⠄⢀⢀⠢⣣⢿⡿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣿⡆⠄⠄⠐⢈⠐⠩⠂⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠰⡠⠂⢈⠠⠈⣻⣿⣟⣷⣫⢾⣺⢽⣺ ⣯⡳⡯⣗⣟⡿⠄⢀⢔⣼⣾⡏⢢⢻⣽⣿⠄⠄⢈⣿⣧⠄⠄⣁⣠⣠⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣾⣦⣤⣁⠁⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣷⣻⡽⣞⡯⣿ ⣗⢯⣻⡽⣾⡁⠄⣲⣵⣿⣿⢇⢱⠐⠐⠅⠃⠄⠐⢽⣿⡯⡸⣷⣿⣟⣾⡿⣿⣟⣿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⡾⣯⣗⡯⣿ ⣯⢯⢷⣻⡿⠄⠄⡿⣿⢿⣽⣳⡝⡼⡸⡵⠄⠄⠤⣔⣽⢇⢗⡯⣷⣿⣷⡿⣟⡷⡽⡽⡽⣯⣿⣽⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⣗⡯⣿ ⡯⣯⢿⣽⡇⠄⢔⣽⣿⣿⡿⣟⣜⢮⣻⣽⣷⣝⣿⣿⣿⠸⡽⣽⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣳⣻⢽⡿⡿⡻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣻⡾⣽⣻ ⣯⢷⣻⣽⠄⢌⣮⣿⣾⢿⣿⣗⡵⣳⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢐⠠⠑⠙⠝⠺⢫⣿⣽⠨⠃⠁⢀⣀⠁⠑⢯⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⢯⡷⣿ ⣿⣽⢯⡏⠄⠌⡞⣿⢺⣽⣿⡷⣟⡮⣿⢿⣽⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠢⡑⠜⡎⡆⢀⣿⣿⢿⡻⡑⢕⡺⣿⣫⣞⣾⣿⣿⠐⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⡯⣯⣿ ⣿⣾⠟⠄⢀⢑⢬⣇⡫⣿⣿⣿⣽⣾⣽⢿⣿⡿⠁⠠⢡⢱⠰⡠⡑⠜⢐⢐⣽⣿⣿⣷⣧⢧⣻⣾⣯⣿⣿⣿⡟⠠⠄⠄⠄⢸⢿⣽⢷⣿ ⠟⣜⢄⢰⢨⠪⡕⡦⣏⢿⢽⡽⡷⣗⢯⠛⠁⠄⠄⠐⠈⡢⢑⠔⠌⠂⢐⢵⣿⣿⣿⡷⣿⡿⣷⢷⣿⣽⣿⡿⠁⡀⡂⣀⠄⣼⣿⣻⣽⣻ ⡕⣺⡢⡣⣕⣿⣜⣮⣶⣷⣟⣿⣺⣽⣁⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠂⠠⢑⠨⡈⢀⠠⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡯⣻⢿⣻⣿⣿⠍⠂⠂⡣⣿⣿⡿⣾⣻⣺⣽ ⡧⣸⣝⣷⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⡊⠄⠄⠐⢈⢐⠈⠄⠂⠄⠙⡻⡿⣯⡾⣿⣿⡿⣝⢿⣿⡇⠐⠄⠄⠂⣚⡺⣽⣽⢾⣻⣾ ⣿⢸⣟⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡍⣿⣿⣿⣯⢋⢂⠄⠈⡀⠄⠠⠄⢂⠐⡔⡸⢸⠂⠎⡌⡆⢔⢩⠠⠈⡻⢅⠁⠄⠄⠈⣔⢽⣳⡽⣽⣗⣿ ⢿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣷⣽⣿⣾⣻⣪⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢪⡀⠄⠄⠠⠄⡀⠐⡀⠄⠄⢠⢢⢐⡠⣂⢮⡮⠂⢕⠣⠡⡁⠄⡀⠄⠄⠆⣅⣷⣻⣳⣯⣿ ⠈⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣯⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣯⣗⠅⠄⢀⠐⢀⠄⡁⢀⠂⠍⡆⣖⢐⢐⣜⣞⣮⡳⠁⠨⠈⠌⡀⠄⠠⠈⣊⢮⣞⣾⣳⢷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠟⠋⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⠁⠠⠄⠐⢀⠁⠄⠄⠅⠣⡹⡳⢟⢿⢿⢿⢷⠐⠈⢀⠄⡂⠄⠠⠄⠠⠸⣿⣳⣷⣟⣯⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠈⠉⠄⡀⠂⡈⠔⠄⠂⢂⠁⠅⢁⢎⠄⠱⡁⡁⠈⡀⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠐⡠⢈⠠⠁⠄⢉⠛⢿⣿⣿
January 2021
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