[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
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Pride month is over.

Pride month is over. pride month is over. All gay people instantly begin to spontaneously combust, trans people begin to morph into various citrus fruits and are sold as novelty items from a different time. Bisexual people are instantly split in half by the invisible blade of corporate disinterest and the non-bianries are legally banned from using the number 0 in any scenario. The pride flags and corporate twitter profile pictures are instantly detonated to make room for more advertisements, posters promoting diversity and inclusivity are ripped down and destroyed by once-inclusive teachers all across the country. and the price of lube decreases by an average of 76% worldwide. Pride month is over. Greed month is upon us. May all who savoured their taste of freedom, cower in the face of pure capitalism, and use the link https://nordvpn.com/superthrash767 when signing up to nord vpn...
July 2022

Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word

I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year. It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions. The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me. So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
January 2021

Super Meat Boy

⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⣉⢉⣉⣉⣤⣬⣥⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣭⣈⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⢫⢷⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠟⡛⠛⠳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡤⠀⠉⢿⣿⡇⠿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⣿⣏⠈⣁⢤⣠⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠄⣸⣿⡇⠀⣾⣿⣘⠛⢿ ⣿⣿⠇⣿⣧⡽⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⢛⡛⣛⣛⣛⣛⢛⡛⠿⣿⣿⣶⣷⣿⢻⣿⣇⠸ ⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣧⡠⣍⣿⣿⣧⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⡅⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⢰ ⠇⣼⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣝⣙⣻⠻⠻⠛⠿⣟⣉⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣋⣬⣤⣾ ⣇⠻⣿⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣬⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⢠⣤⣤⣤⡄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣛⣛⠛⣛⣉⣁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣋⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

A physicist called Octavian

twitchquotes: The year is 2027. A physicist called Octavian has created the first inter-dimensional portal capable of exploring alternate galaxies. "Finally, I have done it..." he says as he steps into the portal. He enters a room where he sees himself giving a "Brofist" to his computer. His only reaction: " FailFish ".
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

The Bola

twitchquotes: QT this is your Dr. It seems your subs have all gotten not only "The Bola" but also type 2 diabetes. I believe it is the combination of missed arrows and you to wanting become a pizza. Stop before you also get The Bola.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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