[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see β€œyou are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasureπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜β€ will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote β€œyou’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020

Iron Man

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β–€β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–„β–€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
September 2021

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my ΓΌbernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024

Wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Redito I am wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito. I come to watch the tipp stream becaus i want 2ba master. I must ba master of all pokemonarino or my boss "giovanito" will fired me from my businessman job and the helixito will be sad. plz no caparino fettuccine alfredini jigglypuforoni
twitch chat
July 2014
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Military intervention on the territory of Kripparrian chat

twitchquotes: γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰THIS IS MILITARY INTERVENTION ON THE TERRITORY OF KRIPPARRIAN CHAT, WE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT RUSSIANS IN THIS CHAT!! WE TAKING 1/3 OF THE CHAT OVER γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing