[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is the Hygiene Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Hygiene Police, we have reason to suspect you didn't wash your hands after exiting the bathroom. Please prepare for a full body cavity search. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Crab

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣯⡛⠋⠁⢻⡟⠈⠙⢛⣽⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠛⠛⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣾⠛⠛ ⡀⠀⠈⠻⣶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣶⠟⠁⠀⢀ ⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾ ⠛⠛⠛⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⠛⠛⠛ ⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣰ ⣿⣿⡿⠶⠚⠉⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠶⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠋⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠙⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2019

Kappa Nazi

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▀█▀▄▄▄▄░░░░ ░░▄▀▒▓▒▓▓▒▓▒▒▓▒▓▓▓▓░ ▄▀▒▒▓▒▓▒▒▓▒█▒█▓▒▒██░ █▓▒▓▒▓▒██▓█░█▀▀░███░ █▓▓███▒▓▒░▀▀█▀█▒▒██░ ████▓▒░░░░▀▀▀░▀░▒▒█░ ████░░░▄▄▄██░░███▄▓░ ░▀▄█░░░▀███▓░▓███▓▒░ ▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▓▒▒█░ ░▀░▀░░░▒░░▓▀▄▄▄▓▒▓█░ ░░▀░░░░░▓▓░░░▓█▓▓▓█░ ░░░▀▄▄▒▒░░▀▀███▀▒█▀░ ░░░░░▀██▒▒░░░░▓██░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀▀█▄▄▄▄▀░
November 2014

Avoid embarrasing incidents

twitchquotes: Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. :)
twitch chat
December 2018

Classic

Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon

twitchquotes: Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon™. As many of you know, we have recently bought over "Twitch tv". Users must now buy 'Emotes' such as " Kappa ", " Kreygasm " and " FrankerZ ". If users proceed to use these emotes without buying and owning them, we will have to, not only remove the account of the user but also, shut down the stream we have evidence that is has been used in. Thank you, do not copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing