[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks 📊📝 go up 📈💸, my dick goes too 🍆⬆️😳. Bullish 🐂 market 🏬 makes me hard 🦴💦. All the countries 🏳️🏴🏴‍☠️🏁🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇳 try to recover 🔄 from corona 🦠 so the money 💰💵💸 flows 🌬 into my pocket 💳. Soon 🔜 there will be a crash 📉😭🥺😖 and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes 🕳. Then they cut off my greedy dick ✂️🍆🩸 if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out 👅😸. I must turn into a bear 🐂➡️🐻 and make 🤌🏼 more money 💰💵💸 and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done ✅ I’ll throw a party 🎉🍷🍾 and eat your ass 👅🍑.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021

Anime girl 5

⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⢀⠍⠙⢿⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠈⢀⡤⢲⣾⣗⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻ ⡀⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠰⠁⢰⣾⣿⣿⡇⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣇⢀⢀⠙⠷⣍⠛⠛⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⠋⠉⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⡙⠆⢀⣀⠤⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣖⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠏⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡒⠉⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢈⣴⣿⣿⡿⢀⡿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⠐⠄⢀⢀⢀⠈⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⢀⣡ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠢⣤⣄⢀⢀⣀⠠⢴⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⠟⢡⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣹⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠘⠛⠋⠁⡀⣄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⠈⠛⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣹⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣿⡿⢛⢿⡇⠟⠰⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣭⢭⠏⣿⡿⢸⡏⣼⣿⢴⡇⢸⣿⣶⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⢃⣶⣶⡏⠸⠟⣱⣿⣧⣛⣣⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠟⢻⡿⡉⣷⣬⡛⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢰⠘⣰⣇⣿⣿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢺⣿⠟⣩⣭⣽⣇⠲⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⠐⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢐⡈⣿⣷⣶⠎⣹⡟⠟⣛⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠠⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣼⣿⣷⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2017

Weebs

You were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste funny. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Trollge face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠛⠛⠛⠟⠻⠛⡻⠿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⢀⠠⠖⠚⠒⠒⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣫⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣐⣤⣴⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡐⠬⣿⢷⠀⠐⢹⡿⠛⠛⣛⣛⣓⣛⡓⣶⣄⠀⣦⠈⠂⠎⢻⣧⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠿⠵⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣳⡵⠀⠂⢴⣿⣿⣷⡿⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣄⣀⣼⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠻⢻⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣰⣿⣷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⡇⢀⣶⠋⣥⢶⣿⣈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣦⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⡙⣷⡀ ⣷⣾⠁⡼⢡⣿⠛⣡⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⠛⣷⠀⢳⢘⣷ ⣿⣿⠀⠇⢸⣏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⡀⢸⢰⣿ ⣿⢿⣧⠘⣾⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠈⠿⣷⣾⣷⣶⣤⣭⣂⣼⠿⣷⣬⡟⣁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣰⠂⣾⣾⡿ ⡇⠀⠿⣷⡈⠻⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⡷⠈⢻⠛⠿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣄⣈⣉⣠⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⡟⠻⠙⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⠁⣼⠃⣼⣿⠟⠁ ⠃⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⠹⠏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣧⣰⠀⡀⠛⠃⠊⠹⡟⠋⠛⣿⠿⠛⠛⡏⠉⠋⡇⠀⣀⠇⢰⣇⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠎⣸⡿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣤⣸⠀⡇⢠⠀⣼⣠⣀⠀⡇⠀⡀⣄⣰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⡞⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⢿⡙⠻⣿⡇⢀⠇⣥⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠙⣿⣿⣆⣉⠁⠀⢋⠋⠀⡋⢹⡟⠉⢻⠋⠉⡏⠏⠀⢨⡀⠀⠀⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⡇⠙⠳⣌⠻⣿⣿⣆⠐⣼⣆⢠⠀⢻⣄⠀⢸⡂⠀⠂⡄⠀⢸⣷⣼⣶⣿⣿⠟⣻⣯⠁⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡦⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠙⣷⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣿⣄⡂⣸⣇⣀⢰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⠿⢋⣱⣾⣿⣇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⢨⣿⠀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣙⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⠅⠀⠀⣇⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⣣⣠⣍⣳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣂⠀⠀⢙⣧⡐⠀⠀⠀
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing