[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Doublelift looks nervous as he hands over the money

twitchquotes: Doublelift looks nervous as he hands over the money. "Is this enough?" he asks. Marc Merrill looks at him and laughs "QT is in for another soloQ special
twitch chat
February 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

You leave me little choice, evil mods!

twitchquotes: <::::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ You leave me little choice, evil mods! Face me!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Anime girl stare

⠄⣾⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⡇⢸⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡀⣿⣿⡿⠸⡇⣸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠷⠄⠿⠿⠿⠟⠓⠰⠘⠿⣿⣿⡈⣿⡇⢹⡟⠰⠦⠁⠈⠉⠋⠄⠻⢿⣿ ⢨⡑⠶⡏⠛⠐⠋⠓⠲⠶⣭⣤⣴⣦⣭⣥⣮⣾⣬⣴⡮⠝⠒⠂⠂⠘⠉⠿⠖⣬ ⠈⠉⠄⡀⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠈⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⣀⣤⣤⣠⡀⠄⡀⠈⠁ ⠄⠠⣾⡀⣾⣿⣧⣼⣿⡿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⡇⠄ ⡀⠄⠻⣷⡘⢿⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣾⠟⢁⠈ ⢃⢻⣶⣬⣿⣶⣬⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣾⢣ ⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠘ ⣿⡐⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠⢃ ⣿⣷⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⠆⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠠⠂⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢵⢠⣈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⡁⢰⠏⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡄⢢⠨⠄⣯⠄⠄⣌⣉⠛⠻⠟⠛⢋⣉⣤⠄⢸⡇⣨⣤⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing