[Copypasta] Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Hydra

⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⡤⠦⣤⣀⣤⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣭⣭⣿⣶⣿⣦⣼⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⠤⠄⡠⢾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡛⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠦⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⢧⠄⢻⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠢⣀⡀⠈⠙⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⠄⠡⠌⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣳⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣧⣶⣥⡤⢄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠘⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿⡦⢹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⢊⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣠⣄⣾⠄⠄⠄ ⣠⣿⠿⠛⠄⢀⣿⣿⣷⠘⢿⣿⣦⡀⠄⢸⢿⣿⣿⣄⠄⣸⣿⣿⡇⣪⣿⡿⠿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡟⠌⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⣌⡇⠻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠐⣿⣿⡇⠄⠛⠻⢷⣄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠫⢿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣀⣤⣾⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⠄⠄⣶⠄⢶⣆⢀⣶⠂⣶⡶⠶⣦⡄⢰⣶⠶⢶⣦⠄⠄⣴⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠶⠶⣿⠄⠈⢻⣿⠁⠄⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⢸⣿⢶⣾⠏⠄⣸⣟⣹⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠷⠶⠿⠃⠸⠿⠄⠙⠷⠤⠿⠉⠉⠿⠆⠄⠄
March 2020

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros"

twitchquotes: Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros", I know it's time. I full screen the stream and grab my vaseline. I apply a huge load onto my newly shaved butthole and rub it all around nice and even. And then, when kripp says "thanks, and welcome to the 5 dollar club", I place my butthole in front of the screen. It is in that moment, that kripp fists me. I moan with pleasure. I'm one with the kripp
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

forsenE

⢸⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣗⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠫⢁⣥⣤⣤⡁⠢⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⣿⠿⠿⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡇⠛⠉⠍⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣶⣤⡠⠄⠼⠗⠄⢠⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⢛⠛⠥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣅⣐⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣊⣁⠑⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣤⣔⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣽⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⡿⠁⣠⡾⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣗⠜⠋⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣦⣼⣷⣦⣤⠭⠍⠉⠙⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⣠⡿⢟⢿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠒⠄⠄⠄⠰⠊⠓⠂⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⣿⣿⣿⣁⣠⣤⡀⡄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠂⠊⠈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2019
Forsen

Emote

This is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency

twitchquotes: Hi this is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency. I would like to inform you that we have detected the KPM (Kappa Per Minute) to be far below the minimum level of 100 KPM. Please fix this by typing Kappa or Kappa agents will be dispatched to donger this stream
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing