Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
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Donging through the snow
twitchquotes:
ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Donging through the snow ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ In a one dong open sleigh ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ over the dongs we go ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ donging all the way ᕕ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ
twitch chat
Forsen
Biden's America
The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it.
“It’s for hunting,” you say.
They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief.
“One more thing.”
You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes.
“I need to see your vaccination card”
It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes.
“Don't worry, it will all be over soon”
He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm.
“Nighty night”
Your world fades to black once more.
Joe Biden
Politics
Please tell chat that you Love them
twitchquotes:
Hello, Mr Morosan. We want to inform you that your channel has now been striked twice. This is due to the lack of love you give your chat. Please start telling the chat that you "Love them" or else your channel will be terminated. Thank you, Love Department at Twitch.
twitch chat
Kripp
Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here!
twitchquotes:
Hey everyone, Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here! 
We are glad to see chat loves the game. You can download it for free for IOS of Andrioid right now and get 500 gems for free! Want to play more? No problem! Just use this 
💳 and you may continue!
We are glad to see chat loves the game. You can download it for free for IOS of Andrioid right now and get 500 gems for free! Want to play more? No problem! Just use this 💳 and you may continue!
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Teleporting again, son?
⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⠀
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇Teleporting
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇again, son?
⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀ ⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ ⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀ ⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷