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I used to be a real ad
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Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youβre going to be in a great mood all day, because youβre going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereβs a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donβt have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatβs why you donβt have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
Youβre going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youβre going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youβre going to have an exciting life now.
Look hereβs a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youβre going to love this. You donβt have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
Youβre going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnβt that beautiful on your ice cream.
HOTLINE MING
twitchquotes:
I KNOW WHEN THAT HOTLINE MING THAT CAN ONLY MING ONE LEE YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY CELLPHONE
I KNOW WHEN THAT HOTLINE MING THAT CAN ONLY MING ONE LEE YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY CELLPHONE
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Classic
Wow, Youβre an introvert?
twitchquotes:
Wow, Youβre an introvert? Thats so quirky and hilarious. What a funny socially awkward moment. Damn, you really are a comedy genius. Every time you say youβre an introvert, i burst into uncontrollable laughter. I still cant believe it. Thats super funny man. You mean you would rather sit in the dark on your computer instead of Going outdoors with some friends, getting drunk and Drunk Driving? Wow. Surely you must be the only one like that alive.
twitch chat
GIDDY UP SEXMAS
SIMP SUMMER IS OVER
twitchquotes:
SORRY SLUTSβΌοΈπ€πSIMP SUMMERπIS OVERπ
π»ββοΈπ«YOU BETTER FUCK OFF ππΌββοΈBECAUSE NO βSIMP βSEPTEMBER HAS ONLY JUST BEGUNππ»ππ» YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ππ³ LOOKS LIKE THE πTURKEYπ ISNT GETTING ANY SLURPY π§ TONIGHTπβΌοΈ PREPARE π€π»UR PUSSIES ππ»ππ»FOR A DRY SPELL βοΈ CAUSE ITS TIMEπ FOR THE BOYS π€πͺπΌTO FOCUS π ON THEMSELVES πYOU SLUTS BEST SAVE YOURSELVES FOR THAT GOOD DICKππ»π SEND THIS TO 7οΈβ£ OF YOUR BIGGEST HOESπ―ββοΈTO LET THEM KNOW YOU'RE READYπFOR NO βSIMPβSEPTEMBERππ»ππ»
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