[Copypasta] Do not call your significant other honey

Do πŸ‘ not πŸ‘ call πŸ‘ your πŸ‘ significant πŸ‘ other πŸ‘ honey πŸ‘ unless πŸ‘ you πŸ‘ are πŸ‘ a πŸ‘ bee πŸ‘ you πŸ‘ are πŸ‘ appropriating πŸ‘ bee πŸ‘ culture, πŸ‘ this πŸ‘ cannot πŸ‘ bee πŸ‘ accepted πŸ‘
October 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

If my girl and my fidget spinners are both drowning

twitchquotes: If my girlπŸ‘§πŸ˜ and my fidget spinners πŸ’―πŸ”₯ are both drowning🌊😦 and I could only save oneπŸ˜„β˜οΈοΈ you can Catch me letting it spin at my girls funeralπŸ˜…πŸ‘»πŸ’€ Cause it's fidget spinner or catch a fade πŸ™πŸ‘Š
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A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

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March 2015
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Visited by the MIGHTY DREADSTEED of the Nether

twitchquotes: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 IF YOU SEE THIS WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by the MIGHTY DREADSTEED of the nether, he will leave you alone BUT only if you COPY and PASTE this message 3 times 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
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Hearthstone

time for u to stop using this copypasta

what time is it? 12 11 ^ 1 10 | 2 time for u 9 βŠ™β€”β€”β€”β€”> to stop 8 4 using this 7 5 copypasta 6
January 2021

Classic

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