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[Copypasta]Do not call your significant other honey
Do 👏 not 👏 call 👏 your 👏 significant 👏 other 👏 honey 👏 unless 👏 you 👏 are 👏 a 👏 bee 👏 you 👏 are 👏 appropriating 👏 bee 👏 culture, 👏 this 👏 cannot 👏 bee 👏 accepted 👏
Do 👏 not 👏 call 👏 your 👏 significant 👏 other 👏 honey 👏 unless 👏 you 👏 are 👏 a 👏 bee 👏 you 👏 are 👏 appropriating 👏 bee 👏 culture, 👏 this 👏 cannot 👏 bee 👏 accepted 👏
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Ninja's questionable tweet (wife brings me a sandwich, not asked for)
I am in the middle of carrying a league of legends game about to close it out, and my bra-less wife brings me a sandwich (not asked for) with chips as I get a double kill bot lane.
So how is your day going?
I am in the middle of carrying a league of legends game about to close it out, and my bra-less wife brings me a sandwich (not asked for) with chips as I get a double kill bot lane.
So how is your day going?
Last night I shoved live gerbils in my ass for the first time. AMA
I went to the pet store and bought three lucky gerbils, a whole set up for them. I took them home, stripped down, lubed up my ass then put the first brave gerbil into a condom. I looked him in the eyes and I could tell he was just as excited but nervous as I was. Then I shoved him inside me and out of instinct due to being squished in my tight little asshole the gerbil tried to burrow to safety which felt AMAZING. I bent over and moaned uncontrollably as the gerbil flailed and burrowed trying to save his life. Unfortunately it was in vain. After a couple minutes he stopped moving. The first brave gerbil on my sexual journey had died. My legs still shaking from pleasure I pulled him out of my ass and out of the condom. I looked at his lifeless body and he looked so peaceful it almost brought a tear to my eye. I threw him in the trash can then grabbed another condom and another gerbil.
The second gerbil was quickly inside me and thrashed just as violently as the first. My legs buckled, my small flaccid penis started leaking. I laid on the bed, my legs shaking as I jerked my tiny penis as hard as I could. Unfortunately this one died quicker. A failure. I cast it into the trash and got the biggest gerbil ready. I swear he winked at me. It was hard to get him in but he started burrowing and thrashing directly on my prostate. I screamed in pleasure and came everywhere as that fat gerbil flailed helplessly in my asshole. My orgasm was so intense I lost control of my bowels and shit everywhere. As the diarrhea sprayed from me like a chocolate fountain the final dead gerbil plopped out of my ass and onto the bed. I laid there panting watching the mixture of shit and cum soak into the bed. Then I got up, cleaned up and got dressed, my legs still shaking. A truly unforgettable experience.
I need more gerbils.
Keep it, you need it more with all that salt
twitchquotes:`So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
`So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery.
All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat.
Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged.
You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery.
All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat.
Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged.
You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.