[Copypasta] Blue Lives Matter (Smurfs)

blue people don't exist. this is offensive. i have never in my life met a blue person. SMURFS ARENT REAL GUYS. IM TIRED OF SEEING THIS BLUE LIVES MATTER, SMURFS ARE NOT REAL THERE ARE NO BLUE PEOPLE. and even if they were real, they do not matter. i hate smurfs. theyre ugly and short. i could step on them. they have big noses. i just want to pick them up and bite their heads like laffy taffy. DO NOT STAN BLUE LIVES
October 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Hello Kripp, Flute Guy here. TUTURURU

twitchquotes: οΌ¨ο½…ο½Œο½Œο½ οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌŒ οΌ¦ο½Œο½•ο½”ο½… Guy ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½…οΌŽ οΌͺust ο½—ο½ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½„ to ο½“ο½ο½™οΌš β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅ β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ . β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅ β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ . β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅ β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ . β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅ β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ . β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅ β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ . β™©β™¬ο½žβ™ͺ οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ΄οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅οΌ²οΌ΅
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

LCS PODCAST STARTS NOW ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: LCS PODCAST STARTS NOW ResidentSleeper 40 MINS BETWEEN GAMES ResidentSleeper SUCH A SHAME WHEN GAMES INTERRUPT TALKING ResidentSleeper FAKE NARRATIVES ResidentSleeper FORCED HYPE ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
September 2020
LCS

League of Legends

Surprised face

β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β– β–‘β–β–‘β–€β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆ
March 2015
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