[Copypasta] Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Thanks for backseating

On behalf of the Streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable care about this hardstuck challenger players mental state, since after 10 years of streaming he is not able to control his anger and tilt. Your contribution to helping him get over his weak mentality and becoming an untiltable champion of the top lane will never be forgotten!
July 2022

League of Legends

SadKek

⣯⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠉⠈⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠇⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣇⠀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠙⠛⠻⣽⠻⢦⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡉⠉⢿⣿ ⣶⠀⠐⠆⠀⠀⡾⢦⣬⠓⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⠄⠀⢀⠠⡤⠁⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠈⣶⣶⣾⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡐⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣿⡍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠚⠻⢿⡿⠿⠛⠻⢿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠺⠷⠶⠤⠤⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣉⣙⣠⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢿⡆⠰⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⣀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸
September 2020

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021

An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing