[Copypasta] Kangaroos vs Uruguayans

This does not change the fact that in Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos...
October 2021
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LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist

LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist Being short is a disability, and as a tall person, it's your responsibility to make sure short people don't get even more disabled by having to look up to speak to you. Doing this can damage their neck. Standing up while talking to short people also makes them feel threatened and unsafe so kneeling down not only prevents them from damaging their necks but also makes them feel more safe. Not doing this means you don't respect short people, you're mocking their disability, you're looking down on them and that's ableist, so be the bigger man and kneel. Thank you.
August 2021

I'm tired of this terrible chat

twitchquotes: I'm tired of this terrible chat. I make thoughtful comments and cheer the teams on, but then chat spams and my comment gets lost. I might as well just spam PunchTrees 7 like the rest of you...
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April 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico. Me Englando is ferry bad but i just wantet to zay zat i crossed the river in a rubber boot to Murica to become a pro player! One day i saw ur stream and i see how handsome and good u are. Dat day i decided i wanna become like u! Zo i killed my wife sold her, bought a rubber boat and now im here! Zank u for inspiring me! One day i become good player and pimp like u! or else rapist like unle Benni No coparoni peperoni pastarino plz!
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How can these trash players be considered pros

twitchquotes: How can these trash players be considered pros when they are always falling off the map?? Even I in Silver can at least not just walk of the map lol...
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

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