[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

CSGO rage

The only reason, the only reason you’re all laughing is because you don’t understand that I also played in a team before and it’s actually proper CS and not the kind of shit you play. I’m not gonna play matchmaking with you all because you’re all fucking useless anyway. You know why you’re better than me? Do you know why? Shut the fuck up you cunts. Tell me the answer, come on you fucking retards, laugh all you want you fucking dumbasses, honestly, fuck this. You’re all having a laugh and I’m trying to play a game and actually do something and fucking win. Fuck my dick.
April 2022

CSGO

Empirical data suggests this is a QTpie stream

twitchquotes: CarlSmile AH! CarlSmile White shirt! CarlSmile Gray screen! CarlSmile Empirical data suggests this is a QTpie stream.
twitch chat
June 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Hey Kripp, how's it going, Faeria Dev here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, how's it going, Faeria Dev here. We noticed that your streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look foward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Kappa Nazi

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–“β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘
November 2014

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing