[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
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Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone

twitchquotes: Ｉ ａｍ Ｇｅｅｐｓｙ ｆｒｏｍ Ｒｏｍａｎｉａ． Ａｌｌ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｌｉｆｅ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｄｒｅａｍｅｄ ｔｏ ｐｌａｙ ａｇａｉｎｓｔ ｔｏｐ ｐｌａｙｅｒｓ ｌｉｋｅ Ｄｅｎｎｉｓ ａｎｄ ｒａｙ ｎａｄｓ ｉｎ Ｃａｒｄｓｔｏｎｅ． Ｍｙ ｇｉｒｌｆｒｉｅｎｄ Ａｌｅｘｔｒａｓｚａ ｓｏｌｄ ｏｕｒ ｆａｒｍ ｔｏ ａｃｈｉｅｖｅ ｍｙ ｄｒｅａｍ． Ｗｉｓｈ ｍｅ ｌｕｃｋ ａｔ Ｄｒｅａｍｈａｃｋ！
twitch chat
April 2014
PGL

Why are people so against copypasta?

twitchquotes: I don't understand why people are so against copypasta and memes in twitch chat, what kind of "intellectual" conversation are you going to see with 10,000+ people all typing at once.
twitch chat
December 2018

Never click on scam links, try typing the URL by hand

twitchquotes: Summoners, beware! The consequences can be quite Sivir if you click on links promising free Riot Points. Never click on links that you don’t trust - instead, try typing the URL in by hand.
twitch chat
July 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD

twitchquotes: Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about adjusting your Windows Clock to get ahead on opening Packs. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
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