[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022

Chess is too basic for Kripp

twitchquotes: "Well," Kripp drawled, a toothy grin splitting his face, "I think chess is a little too basic a game for me. I mean, only 6 different types of pieces? It's a game for children. No strategy whatsoever" That said, he proceeded to chortle as his opponents Huffer triggered his effigy, creating a Nexus Champion Sarad. "Outplayed."
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

Cybrix's voice

twitchquotes: Ｄｅａｒ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｂｅｅｎ ｓｅｖｅｒｅｌｙ ｄｅｐｒｅｓｓｅｄ ｏｖｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｌａｓｔ ｍｏｎｔｈ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｃｏｎｔｅｍｐｌａｔｅｄ ｓｕｉｃｉｄｅ． Ａｆｔｅｒ ｈｅａｒｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｖｏｉｃｅ， Ｉ ｎｏｗ ｒｅａｌｉｚｅ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｌｅｆｔ ｔｏ ｌｉｖｅ ｆｏｒ ａｎｄ ｗｉｌｌ ｋｉｌｌ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｔｈｉｓ ｗｅｅｋ．．．． Ｔｈａｎｋｓ ｆｏｒ ｍａｋｉｎｇ ｍｙ ｄｅｃｉｓｉｏｎ ｓｏ ｅａｓｙ OpieOP
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Get a life nerds

twitchquotes: Honestly though, copy-pasting the same thing over and over again, how dumb can all of you be? The more i post it, the funnier it gets ResidentSleeper You guys are so easy to trick into spamming. Get a life nerds
twitch chat
November 2019
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing