[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

How is depression real?

twitchquotes: HahHaHahAhHAHA How the fuck is depression real? Just be happy 4Head
twitch chat
May 2019

Kid you wanna see an awesome deck?

twitchquotes: Yesterday after he went offline, i was walking down Greece.. and i saw lurky shadowy person behind a wall.. i recognized him as Octavian (Kripp) after spectating him for 25mins.. he was trying to lure kids in.."(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst.. kid you wanna see an awesome deck?"?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t β€˜gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

Fortnite Creepypasta (DO NOT RESEARCH)

Fortnite.EXE ctepypasta (do not read at 3AM VERY SCARY!!!) So i loaded up fort nite as usal.... but when i get to the lobby... therr is jonsy! He has black eyes and dark smiling mouth.... when i go to item shop... there is only one item... it is called BLOOD and cost 666 v buck. When i click on it... hyper relistic blood appeared on my screen!!! Then ramirez jumpscared me and fotnite crashed and deleted itself.... I havent dared to open game after that...
December 2020

Fortnite

Sorry, I dropped my chess set

twitchquotes: β™— β™˜ β™Ÿ β™› β™• β™œ ♝ β™ž β™Ÿβ™™β™— β™˜ β™Ÿ β™› β™• β™œ ♝ β™ž Sorry, I've dropped my chess set β™— β™˜ β™Ÿ β™› β™• β™œ ♝ β™ž β™Ÿβ™™β™— β™˜ β™Ÿ β™› β™• β™œ ♝ β™ž β™Ÿβ™™β™— β™˜ β™Ÿ β™› β™• β™œ β™ž β™Ÿβ™› β™™β™— β™˜
twitch chat
September 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing