[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
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WutFace alternative

⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠱⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣛⡩⣩⣭⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠞⣛⣛⣛⡲⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⡾⣡⣾⣿⣷⣹⣿⣿⡿⣪⡻⠟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⣼⡇⣿⣻⣿⠟⡛⢿⣿⣾⣿⡇⢰⣍⢻⡿⠛⢿⣿⡭⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣧⣄⡀⣿⡇⣮⣽⣿⣮⣉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣇⡸⣿⣿⣆⠛⣰⣿⣾⡿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣇⡼⣄⣿⣿⡄⠙⢿⣏⣿⣿⡮⠁⣉⣾⣷⡈⠃⢿⣿⣬⡭⠝⣀⣿⠄⠄⠐ ⡆⡇⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠓⠛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣙⣛⠓⠾⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠙ ⠁⡇⣞⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⢴⣆⢣ ⠸⣇⡻⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠼⣣⣾ ⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠈⣿⡫⡼⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⣀⣠⡀⠄⠄⠴⠾⠿⠿⠶⠶⣦⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⠯⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⢒⠤⣅⡶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣍⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡐⠫⣉⡿⣬⡞⢿⣿⢯⠽⣶⡽⢟⣛⢖⣨⣛⠛⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

The tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty? I thought not. It’s not a story the streamer would tell you. It’s a Salt legend. Darth Kripparian was a Dark Lord of the Salt, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create salt… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he couldn't even keep the cards he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be salty.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

salty

I'm an elite smash pro

twitchquotes: Excuse me??? I'll have you know that I'm an elite smash pro in the smash ultimate leaderboards kid. I'm not gonna take any sort of disrespect from you, I've carved a name for myself in smash history bud. You're a nobody, Sakurai personally looks at all my matches to balance the game and I could get you shitty main nerfed to the floor if I fucking wanted to so watch your back you nobody.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

Kripp can't beat anyone

twitchquotes: My dad beats me FeelsBadMan My mom beats me FeelsBadMan My brother beats me FeelsBadMan My sister beats me FeelsBadMan At least I feel safe with Kripp, because he can't beat anyone FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Classic

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