[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
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More Copypastas

Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022

Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager?

twitchquotes: Is there a card stronger than Magma Rager? And I'm referring to a Don Han'Cho'd, Blessed Champion'd Magma Rager, with a pre-nerfed Master of Disguise stealth, a Wee Spellstopper on one side, a Dire Wolf Alpha on the other side, an Ancestral Spirit, a Murloc racial tag, golden animations, a pre-nerf Blood Imp supporting it, with Windfury, Charge, Taunt and Divine Shield, Deathrattle: Replace your hero with the above-described Magma Rager?
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

im not homophobic, just extremely racist

Hi i got suspended from reddit for the "what are you fucking gay" comment and just wanted to say that it was a joke and i thought that it could obviously be seen as one but i guess it wasnt. So yeah im not homophobic, just extremely racist, sorry if i made you feel bad, all my homies are allies of the lgbtq community. idek if you reported it maybe you got the joke but better safe than sorry and all that
July 2021

A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015

If SINATRAA and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: if SINATRAA👽and my girl👧😍 both drowning 😱 👋 and I can only save one😤😬Catch me at the enemy spawn door🚪🔴 with my boy on tracer 🌈🕰
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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