[Copypasta] I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
twitch chat
October 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Patient #69 Thijs

twitchquotes: Day 63: Patient #69 still calls himself "Thijs" and thinks he live in Netherlands. Almost every day he plays a children's magic poker game and talks to the screen, every day he must take a pill but he calls it "T-time". Our doctors will continue monitoring #69.
twitch chat
January 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
March 2019

Donkey Kong

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ”€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€ β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–Œβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–β–β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–β–β”€β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β–„β–„β”€β”€β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–β–β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–€β”€β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β”€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing