[Copypasta] My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Day 1 on Kripp's stream the spam is strong

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩ„ΝŸΒΊ ΰΌ½Day1 on kripps stream the spam is strong, γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰Day2 on kripps stream this feeling is wrong, ΰ­§ΰΌΌ Ν‘β—‰Ω„Νœ Ν‘β—‰ΰΌ½ΰ­¨Day3 on kripps stream i've learnt to accept, (Β§ Ν Β° Ω„Νœ Β°)Β§Day4 on kripps stream my virginity may you accept.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

ASCENDED invisible spam

twitchquotes: ASCENDED invisible spam                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        PogChamp
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

xQc juicer fanfic

twitchquotes: Felix starts to notice my eyes are welling up with tears, he sits up quickly. "Oh nyooo, why are you crying?" He rubbed my tears away. "Maybe let's sleep. Can we talk in the morning?" I went silent and hugged him tight. I agreed to talk in the morning over breakfast. I climbed off of him and told him I was going to shower, he followed to the bathroom and undressed with me. "Oh is that right?" I asked him. He smiled and kissed my neck, we both climbed into the shower and didn't really talk much. We kinda just stared at each other and smiled. He kissed me a few times wile rubbing what he kept calling my "juicers". Apparently I have some nice "juicers"? What is all this juice talk, it is killing me so bad. He is so funny.
twitch chat
September 2021
xQcOW

ALL IN

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒠⣄⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⒀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⒠⑄⒠⣄⠀⒀⑄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⑿Ⓕ⑄⠀⣿⠀⠀Ⓒ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⑇Ⓒ⑿⣦Ⓒ⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β£Όβ ›β ›β£Ώβ‘€β£Ώβ£€β£€β’Έβ£Ώβ£€β£€β €β €β’Έβ‘‡β’Έβ‘‡β ˜β’Ώβ‘‡β €
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing