[Copypasta] My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021

Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€
November 2014

Pokemon

Great Music, Extremely Handsome, Must be Reynad

twitchquotes: (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Great Music (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Extremely Handsome (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Innovative Decks (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) High Level Gameplay (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Moderately Sized Forehead (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Great Personality (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Large Donger (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ) Must be Reynad (β—•β€Ώβ—•βœΏ)
twitch chat
November 2016
Reynad

GG EZ

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
March 2021

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021
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