"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?"
Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?"
Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-"
Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?"
Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-"
Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?"
Reporter: (silence)
Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o."
(Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question)
"B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o."
Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-"
(The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben)
All: "And Bingo was his name-o!"
(Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Ben Shapiro Copypastas
Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks
Letโs say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts donโt care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux
Now, letโs say ๐ฃ hypothetically, you ๐, my mother ๐ช. Were to give ๐ me, your 
son ๐โโ๏ธ, your credit ๐ธ card ๐ณ information ๐๐ผ. So I ๐ฅ could make ๐ a purchase ๐ฒ of 500 ๐ฏ robux ๐ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐ฑโโ๏ธ will have you ๐ believe ๐
๐ป, I ๐ฅ have done โ
a very โผ good ๐ job ๐โโ๏ธ๐คต of doing my chores ๐งผ, including ๐ฒ, but ๐ not limited ๐ to; The dishes ๐ณ๐ฝ๐๐ผ, the laundry and the taking ๐ out the trash โน๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ถ๐.
son ๐โโ๏ธ, your credit ๐ธ card ๐ณ information ๐๐ผ. So I ๐ฅ could make ๐ a purchase ๐ฒ of 500 ๐ฏ robux ๐ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐ฑโโ๏ธ will have you ๐ believe ๐
๐ป, I ๐ฅ have done โ
a very โผ good ๐ job ๐โโ๏ธ๐คต of doing my chores ๐งผ, including ๐ฒ, but ๐ not limited ๐ to; The dishes ๐ณ๐ฝ๐๐ผ, the laundry and the taking ๐ out the trash โน๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ถ๐.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star
Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist
"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?"
Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?"
Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-"
Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?"
Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-"
Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?"
Reporter: (silence)
Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o."
(Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question)
"B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o."
Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-"
(The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben)
All: "And Bingo was his name-o!"
(Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?
Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. Andโlook, itโs just a factโI would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.
Now letโs discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from โYou racist creepโ or โIs that your real voice?โ to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded โtoilet swirly.โ However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.
Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this โOur pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-polyโโno. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. Itโs that simple. Itโs been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty โFuh!โ by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.
Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyderโs classic film โ300,โ I will kick you.
Onions, peppersโno, thank you. If I wanted veggies, Iโd go to a salad bar. Iโm not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named PโZoneโwhen I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.
And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. Iโm fucking starving.