[Copypasta] We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. 👖🚀👖🚀👖🚀
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

I used to be a real ad
More Reddit Copypastas

CAN THE MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

CAN THE MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 11 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.
November 2021

Reddit

Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society (Reddit moderator goes off)

I'm seeing many bigoted comments down there so I just want to make this clear : any hate towards moderators will result in a permanent ban from this subreddit with no warning. This includes, but is not limited to, calling moderation a "fake job" or saying that we "do it for free". Moderation is one of the most useful jobs to society. Behave. Or get banned.
December 2021

Reddit

MODS

Does anyone else feels attracted to female avatar profile pictures on reddit?

I don’t know why but I kinda get a little turned on when I see them. There’s something about their design that makes them really adorable and I always try to hold myself back from imagining things about them but I can’t help it. They look so tiny and fluffy with a petite body and short height, cute little outfits, a rounded face, big eyes and pretty hair. Like they’re literally so unironically perfect I feel like reddit made them this way on purpose. I grew a habit of direct messaging anyone who have a nice woman avatar and chatting with them because I imagine the person using the account to look the same. I’m not even typing this out to sound like a weirdo i genuinely feel this way and I do hope that I’m not being weird for it. Please tell me there’s someone who feels the same thing
May 2022

Reddit

We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. 👖🚀👖🚀👖🚀
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

Reddit Snoo sucking

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January 2022

Reddit

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing