[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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twitchquotes: Let's get a few things straight. There are two types of chatters: Me and you. I write the "copypasta" and YOU copy and pasta them in chat. This is how it's always worked, we've got it down to a science. Ultimately it's your decision, but there is no room for indecision. So, make a choice NOW otherwise you can kiss this whole chat experience goodbye.
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August 2015
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Happy Merchant

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก โข”โข’โกฟโ ฏโ ฅโขฆโฃฆโฃพโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โฃพโขฎโ Šโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ›โ ณโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃงโฃฟโฃโกดโก”โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โก€โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃฆโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโฃฟโขฝโ โขฐโฃขโฃถโฃฆโฃŒโ  โ ดโ †โ ˜โฃ€โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ”โ โ €โข‚โ ˜โขปโข›โฃ›โ ฟโฃโ โ €โ ผโฃโกดโฃ–โฃซโ ™โ ™โ ฟโกณโก…โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ‚โ ฐโ €โ €โ ˆโก„โข โข“โฃบโข‡โก‡โฃŠโ โ €โ ‰โ โ ฒโ ’โ €โ €โ €โ ‘โ …โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โฃจโ €โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ ฐโขธโ „โ „โฃธโฃทโกฆโฃ„โขคโ „โข„โก€โฃ€โ คโ  โก€โ €โ ˆโก„โ €โ € โ €โ €โข โ โ ™โฃ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โขพโ ˜โข โฃฟโฃŸโฃฟโฃฟโฃชโฃฎโฃถโฃธโฃฎโฃ–โฃขโฃŒโ โ €โ โ €โ € โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โขนโ €โ €โ €โ €โ ธโ €โขโฃปโฃฏโฃฟโขฟโกซโขบโกฉโ โฃ‰โฃ‰โฃจโก—โ ‰โ ‚โ Šโ €โ € โ €โ €โกˆโ ‚โ €โฃพโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ †โกธโฃนโกฟโฃฟโฃฏโฃทโฃฑโฃ™โ ซโ งโ ทโฃฆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โข โ ‡โ €โ €โข‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ •โฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŸโฃฟโฃฟโกทโฃถโฃพโ ฟโ ’โกโ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโข‡โ ปโ ฝโฃฟโกฟโขŸโฃฟโฃปโกŸโ โ ฐโฃฏโก•โกฐโ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฉโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ฌโฃโ ฑโ จโ ฏโ ›โ ™โขโ €โข€โก€โฃจโก€โ คโขšโ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข‚โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ „โ ฐโกถโ ฒโขฆโ “โ โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ กโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก„โ €โข€โ „โ Šโ ‰โ ™โ ‘โ ’โ Šโ ‰โ €โ €
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strifecro

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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
May 2021

bears are fuk

I hate people saying bears are fuk or bulls are fuk. Stop saying that. It's very rude. Just say bears are fuk
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