[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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MOM I NEED V-BUCKS

twitchquotes: โ—๏ธโœ‹ OK MOM โœ‹โ—๏ธWE NEED TO TALK ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ค I NEED V-BUCKS ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ’ต I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿคจ I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿคฌ I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH ๐Ÿ—‘๏ธ๐Ÿ”ซ I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ NOW I NEED YOU ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ‘‰ TO BUY ME V-BUCKS ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ”ฅ I'VE GOTTA SHOW ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคฌ MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’ฏ NOW I'LL BE IN BED ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’ค BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿšธ
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Overused sexually identification copypasta

I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of spamming other users with my unfunny wall of text. People say to me that a person who does this is a laughable idiot and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having these words glued all over my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as an overused sexually identification copypasta as my preferred pronouns and respect my right to paste unfunny sexually identification copypastas to reddit in hope of receiving virtual internet points. If you can't accept me you're funny and mentally stable and need to check your choice of subreddits. Thank you for being so understanding.
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Hello my fellow Trump subs

twitchquotes: Hello my fellow Trump subs. Alone we are not much but together we are strong. You cannot touch us Forsen Boys, no matter if you tuck us. So trump subs, copy and paste this message so we can defeat the Forsen Boys.
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April 2015
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