I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
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Amogus get out of my head
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̑̋͂̒͋̈̈̚̚̚͜͝͝͝═̵̛̯͖́̆̾̾̍̄̍̇́̔̔̾̃͐̎̑̀̂͊̓̍̒̊̈́͛̌̏́͑͒̋͋͘̕̕͝͝═̷̢̛̛̛̛̳͈̩̘͈͉̹͒̊͑̂͊̈͆̌͆͛̿̆̉͂̈́̑̾̒̄̔̂͛͛̀̌̊̈̃̊͛̅̋͛̏͛͊̚͘͝͝█̷̛͚̀͑̓́͊͂͆̒̈́͘̚█̵̧̨̨̲͙͖̞͉͕͈̬͕̹̥̜̩̼̫͕̳͂̈͊̽͋͘ͅ║̴̛͍͈̝͈̬̮͉͉̳̤̰̱̟̠̌͗̐̓̿̊́̃̈́̔̂̿̇̍̄͆͂̇̐͆͑͊͛͒̿̾̿̓̇̈̓͗̏̕͘͘͘͜͠͝͠ͅ░̶̡̨̧̡͚̘̣͎͇͓͔̬̹͇̝̖̖͈̖̦̠͖̳͔͕̯̯̤̘̅̓͘͘͜͜͠͠͠͝╚̷̨̢̧̨̛̛̛͚̖̲̞͈̩̭͙̟͙̥̱̠͚̪̟̞̺̟̖̗̻̥̹͉̀̍͊͑͌̉͛͆̈͛̂̏͑̌̍̈́̌͋͘͘̕͜͝ͅ═̴̧̺̤͉̲̝̭̬̥̭̱͎̬̋͛̋̍̈́̎̐̎͌̆͘͜͝ͅ═̶̨̢̧̢̡̛̥̻̯͓͚̘͉̘͇̻̻̲̩̫̯̼͉͔̜̠͇̟̹̺̭̪̜̟̱͔͚̣̻̹̞͎̱̈́̋́̒̄͠ͅ═̷̢͙̼̙͓̮̞̠̼͓̪̲̀̌͗̾̒̽͆͗̍̋̓̀͆̎͛̍̂͆͋́͆̇̓̓͂̋̓͘͘͠͠͠█̷̙̻̱͇̇͒̐̃̈́̃́͒̈̐̌̆̃̊̑̚͝͠͝█̴̧̧̛͚̠̝̪̻̤̲͈̳̯̮̫̪͇̻̙̘̞͙̞̬͔͕̝͎̹̱͙̜̼͈͚̪̦̉̉͋̍͆͒̈́̋̍̉͛͒͌̌͒̀̆̊̇́́̓͒̈́̈́̒͐̾͆́́̕̚̕͝͝ͅͅ╗̸̧̧̨̧̛͔̯͈͖̯͚͖̪̹͈̥̮̘̙̦̻̗̭̠̲̤̫̜̤̲̺̫̲̼̙͚͕̦͂̊̿̓̈͊͆̿̉̂̉̆̊̐̑̂̄̈͊̈́̈́̚͝͝█̸̨̢̛̩̫̮̹͖̭̺̺͙̩̮̳̞̲̤͗́̅̆̓͐̃̎͑̀̋̈́̉̓̄̋͒͌̀͑̆̓͑̏̓̂͌̈́̾̔̇̚͘͠͠͝ͅ█̷̡̨̢̨̛̖̮̦̯̦͍̰̰̪͕̬̻̰̣̝͎͎͎͔̫̊̔̐̍̆͊̔̑͌͒͂͒̓̾̍͌̊̓͒̓͋͑̋̓̓̂̊̃͛̌̏͌̍͘͜͜͠║̷̮̤͔͓͎͖̱̗̠͇̜̳̖̮̗̬͙̹͔̜̜̬̹̯͛͒͋͑̚ͅ░̵̨̛̮̙̹̪̣͙̪̩͈̰̜̗̠̘̱͕͖̺͚͈̠̤̼̳͕̝̂̽̀͛̒̒́̆̀́́͛̒̿͑̇̒̐͂́̈́̒̆͋̔͛͆́̆͐͛̑̕͘͜͝͝░̶̛̛͙͉̙͇̞͖̳̪̦͖̳̘̘̖͇͉̻̥̖̖̖̬͚̖̃͛̀̈́͐͆̆̄͗̈́̅͌̇̏̈̽̂̆̓́̕̚͜͝͝͝ͅ█̴̨̢̧̛̻̖͙̹̜̝͚̠̘͙̱̗͔͍̱̪̼̩̞̤̪̯͙̖̗̺͉͇̞̬̦̱̱̲̘͊͒̄̏̀̀̑́̍̄̌̂̔͐̓̓̇̆͂͛́͑͊̑͂̃̓̊̅͆̀́̍̕͜͜ͅͅ█̵̢̧̢̛̛̠̥͚͈̜̻̦̬͕͎͓͇̗̲͖̪̣͇̮̳̙̣̫͈̳͔̜̥͇̥̹̙̬̣̪̭̙̾̄̐̅̍́͛̎͐̉͋́̊̈́̿̈́̔͂̈́̂̎͜͜ͅͅ║̴̬̰̖̲̲͈̳́̀́͆̚█̸̡̡̡̨̧̨̪̬͍͎̝̺͖͓͙̓̾̀̐̅́͂͋̃͗̑͆̏̈́͒̋́̀̒͋̔͆̋̃̕̕͘͝͝█̵̞͋̈͒̈́̇̃̉̒͂̈́̾̍̃͋̒̉͐̐̐̇́̀͌̆͊̚̚͘̚͘̚̕͝╔̷̢̢̢̢̛̺͖͖͍͇̳̗̗̼̹̲̰͍͉̙̳̯͇̪͇̝̼̬̗̣͇̮̣̣̺͉̬͉̮̠͕̆͊̎̑̍͌̋̋̃̆͊͂̽̌͐̑̏͛̍̀͘̕͝͝ͅ═̸̢̛̤̺̳̠̮̖͇̉̈́̆̊̍̎̒̈́͋́̑̌̓̎̄̿̊̎̈́̅̌̿́͆̌̈́̐̀͊̑͌̚̚̕̕̚͠͠═̵̡̨̨̛̲͔̤̼̝͇͎̩̌̆͗̾̈͗̈̅͌͊̿̔͒̂̊̐̀̇̿̉͐̈́͒̀̊̓̀̾̈́̍͠͠█̶̡̡̢̧̨̖̟̝̹͖̜̠͈̥̙̠̙̺͍͔̮̲͚͚̝̣͎̘͔̰̾̒̉̈́͒̑̋͌̃̉̃͜ͅ█̸̢̢̧̛̦̗͓͇̺͓̤͎̳͇̖̬̬̮̭̳͍͈̼̟̘̠̊̀͒͐̒̔̒̄̈́͑́̇͂͜ͅ║̸̧̢̧̠̫̟̬̬͈̣͓͖̣͙̣̲̱̤̤̖̖̳̠̰͍͚͉̱̩̭̝͙̥͔̩͎͗͛́̍͒̑̋̈́͒̅̈̆̓͐̈́̃̇̇̀́͋͗̾̐̌̓̒̿̇̈́̔̋̈́̆̈́͊̓͂͑͜͜͜͝ͅͅ█̶̡͇̲̭̦͎̮͔̜̤̘̎̅̅̅́͐͒̄̍̽̑̃́̈́̒͑͗̌̓͘͠͝͝█̶̢̢̱͇̮͓̩̜̪̞̺̗̰̺̪͍͍̠̭͍̘̘̭̥͎̺͙͙̙̭̣͊̇͒̍͗̎̑͗̌͑̽̀̔͛͌͑̓́̈̉́̓̇̔̇͊͑̋̍̏̎́͘̚͜͜͠͝╔̷̨̡̛̛̲͖͚̯̥͓̠͇̗̻̉̐̇̓̾͊͒̎̔́̇͆̋̆̃͠═̴̢̪̱͕̠̘̲̞̘͔̻̟͎̫̹͎̮̟̙͔̱͍̻̣̟͔͈̀̀̀̓̄̊̈̎̐̀̊̈́̍͂̾͘̕̚̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅ═̴̡̡̡̢̨̝̭̰͉̹̻͔̹͙̖̥̗͓͔̼̜͓̬̥̟̠͔͍̳̰̪̝̠̖̑́̈́̏̕͜ͅ█̷̨̯̯͍̹̬̙͍̙̞͈͈̲̥̜̾̇̓̀́͋͆̽̎͛̔̏̐̀͌̂̆̎̀̏̐̕͘͝ͅ█̷̢̨̡̛̖̲̰̣̪̲̼̫̩͓̈́̑̓̾͐̊͑̔͊̽̏̓́̀́͛̔̅͋͋̎̄̓̅̂́̈́͛͂̅̌͒̐̈́̆̊͐͂̎̚̚̚ͅ║̷̵̨̢̡̡̧̨̢̛̬͙͇̞̻̰͓̳̘̱͈̪̥̙̫̤͙͇͈̲͙̤̬̪̼͕͔̞̟̹̖̥̼͈̘͕͉͔͙͕͉̬̯͚̝̫̥͙̱̠̤̙̪̝̫̘̗͙͇̥̜͖̗̯̖͕̖̝͆̍̾̉͋͌͊͌̈́̂́̀̽̅̓̎̑̌̽̑̆̊̎̆͂̒͋͂̂̑̈́̍̒̊̈́͘̚̚͜͜͝͠͠͝ͅ█̴̡̛̛̛̛̮̩͉̺̦͈̾̄̈́͐̑͒͋̆̎̆̂̀̒́̓͌̆̅͗̍̌̀͂͌͛̓͆͑̔́̕̕̚͘͝͝█̷̡̢̢̛̛̝͍͈̝͇̹̯͙̣͖̖̜͎͇̺̣̰͙̗̖͕͙̯͈̼̱̦̼̓͆̍̀́̿̈̓̿͂̒̿͋̄̂͊̇̕̚͜͜ͅ█̸̢̡̢̢̨̢̛̻̝͖̞̣̙̣̯̭͖̲̺̥̦̘̙͎͎̥͎̙̤̟̝̙͚̐̋͑́̇̆̎́̄́̅͆̄̇́͆͂̍̆͂͋͒͑̈̐̍̈́̿̀͆͒͐͂̕̚̚̕͠█̶̧̢̙̤͔̩͕̥̹̯͙̗̱̼̙̝̺͕̤̬͉̗̬͓̣̣͚̜͕̗̗̩̜̞̠̼̗͙͇̳̦̆̈́͆͗̍̈́̌͂̃̾͌́̃̉̆̈́̎̈́̋̐̎̈͘͝͝█̴̛͎̮̮͚̰̼͖͕̗̖͆̾̑̏͗̈́͒͑̌̈́̄̈́͂̈̈́́͋̂́̃̏́͘̚̕͝͝͝ͅ█̵̡̭̠͉͙͖͈̻͇͇̘͙̫̱͓̮̺̼͎̲̦͕̉̀̌̌͛̔̂̄̈́͒̾͊͑͑͐̽̉̄̀̕͝ͅ╔̵̢̛͚̦͍͇̼̗̫̦̤̯̤͕͈͇̦͈͇̪̝͎̉̊͌̽͑̔͗͐̇̑͌̀̏̀̏͗̄̍̂̈́̈́͐́̓͘͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅ╝̷̧̢̨̙͕͎̠̻̞̺̯̗̼͔̯͇̳̙͔͚͈̞̟̼̬̰̜̺͙̙̋̄̀̊́̿̽͐͌͊̓̅̄́̌̾͒̑̚͘̕͘͜͜͠͝ͅͅ█̴̡̧̢̲͓͔͖̺̟̪͖̣̮̘͉̝̩͎͕̗̼̹̝͙̈́ͅ█̵̮̘̉̇̅̑͛̈́͒̂̀̉́̉͛̾̑͐͛̀̇̍̚̚͠͠ͅ║̴̡̡̭̩͉̰͕̘̘̹̼͈̪̬̖̥̭͉̺̭̯̦̜͙̣͇͚̥̰̞̰̑̇́̈́͊͑̌̀̉̄̑͊̐̓̍̀͑̍̾́̆̓̒̇̋́̅͂̽̏͝͠░̴̨̮̖͈͔̮͙̬͇̮͇͔̥͖͕̒̾̓̍͋̚░̶̡̨̡̡̛͖͉̫̦̟̦̼̠͓͙͎̮̠̘͕̜̽̆̀̈̌̊̇́̏̏̆̓̀̓̈́͋̈̏̆̾͋̂͌̉̑́͊̌̚͘͝͝͠͠█̷̛̜̞̪̲̝̲̩̤̬̣͊͆̎̿̒̐̔́̈͆̾͛̑̃̽̎̾█̸̢̛̮̉̾͋̎͐̈́́́͒̀͊̆͌̋̊̽͒̅̀̂͐̈́̋̒̏̓̾̑͛̃͂̀̿̚̕͘̕͝͠͝║̵̢̛̛̦̰̣̙̳͉͓̥͎̟͈̥̘̰̦̯̖̮̻̫̬͙͖̗̠͉̦̼̜̠̮̑́͆̊̋̐́͒̂̏̿͗̇̉͂̄̿̂̑̈͛͜͠͝█̸̢̧̛̯͍̤͍̭̠͓̠̱̠͉̪̲̫̖͈͔͙̱̘̝͓̗̭̠̼̪̤̟͉̙̞͓͕̬̩͕̲̙̂̾̄́̏̎̾͐̈́̍͗͒̑̓͋͑͒͋̌́̋͋̏̐̇͌̍̇̇͂́̏̀͆̅̎͂̒̐͒̚͜͜͝͠ͅ█̶̢̯̤̍͆̀́̽̌̉͗̿́͑̋̆̑͑̀̉̽͋̌͊͑̈́͘̕͝█̴̰̦̭͖̹̞̱̩͇͎̜͉̖̗̙̖̳͍̼̞̩̈́͆̏͆̔̒̏̈́̚͜͝█̸̧̡̡̼̭͔̥̯̱̞̯̟͖͈̻̗̳̞̬͇̣̺̯͍̯͇̯̱̪̩̬̣͚͈̠͎̳̱͖̺̦̯̋̇͗́̉̌̀̈̍̿̌̓̽̿̉͐̽͊̄̈́͒̂̉͆͂́̓̄̇̔̅̋̚͜͜͠͝͝͝█̴̨̡̨̛͚̩͚̼̖͚̭͍͍̼̖̬̣̤̜̣̯̀̓̑̌̏̌͊͛̄͑͂̇̏́̓͗͘͘͝͝█̷̨̧̨̡̨̙̰̝͓͓̬̱̰̗̥̞̣̮̼̞̝̦̱͚̬͈̰͈̦̞̞̠̬̥̣͚̻͎͎̱̹̖̜̎́̍̽̎͂̈́̎̊̑̎̋͛̐̆̅̓̏́̾̈́̓̋╔̵̢̛̛̩͍͖̹͙̥̋̑͋͐̒͂̐͑̅͒̒̐͌̎̀̿͆̈̂̾̆̍̀͐͑̈̕͘̕̕̚͘͠͝╝̶̨̢̧͇͔̼̟͕̹͙̬̪͉̞̼͔̖̼͖̮͉̘͍͈̝͍̮̼̯̱̺̤̱͉̞͖̞͕̜̟̱̤̯̃̈̆̋͋͛̆͘͘̕͜█̵̡̡̧̢͍̟̤̲̮̙̜̺͕̜̰͈͉̬̤̤͇̠͎̺͕̣̀̐̂̀̃͌̏̎͗̍̆̃̒͒̇̒́̈͗̈́̅̉̓̓̃̈́͊̉́͘͝ͅͅ█̵̧̮̣̝̈́̉█̶̨̙̹̯̖̻͇̭̹̥͚͍͍̦̘͇̘͕̮̈́̇̍̂̿̾͌̉́̿̍̓̋̒̂͗̑̓͂͆͆̾̾̈́̈̀͆͑̆̏̓͆͘̕̚̚̚̚͘͜͜͠͝█̸̺͈̬̦͖̜̳͍̝̦̝̿̄̆̂͐́̎̾̅́̓̽̀͗͋̀͑̆̿̌̎̀̉̀̽̈́͗̑͆̈͛͘͜͠█̷̨̨̢̢̠̺̩̯̙̩̥̝̮͚̜̩͕̞̮̬̂̌͊̽̽͂͗̍͑̒͂̐̄̈͊̓̓͆̽̐̔̓̄̀̌̎̚͘͘͘̚̚͝
Among Us / Amogus
Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team
twitchquotes:
Having Carpe on Fusion is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much Fusion invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but Fusion will soon learn.
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Zhong Xina
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣾⣷⠶⠆⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⠿⠛⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣧⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠿⢿
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Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitchquotes:
"Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
So Aurateur, let’s have a talk.
twitchquotes:
So Aurateur, let’s have a talk. I strongly feel that your channel would do better if you turned off TTS or at least filtered out the spam. Thing is, while I myself have never donated to you or any other streamer, and my only subs are twitch prime, I feel I know a thing or two about how to succeed as a streamer and I’m certain your channel would do better without all the spam, it’s clear nobody wants that shit and is the only thing holding you back as a fulltime streamer. Thank you.
twitch chat
Aurateur