[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
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BREAKING NEWS

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS: After brutal anal fisting performed by Romanian gypsy Kripparian, Sandown's anus had an emotional breakdown and cried for attention on the stream of Kripparian.
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November 2014
Kripp

THIS IS A TEST, IF YOU ARE HUMAN, DO NOT COPY PASTA

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid THIS IS A TEST, IF YOU ARE HUMAN, DO NOT COPY PASTA THIS MESSAGE MrDestructoid
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August 2017

Viewbots

Shitting Toothpaste Amogus

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢰⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⡀⠹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣶⣶⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠃⣀⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⡟⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠐⠋⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠐⣶⠀⢠⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠛⠛⠀⣠⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡟⠁⢰⡟⠀⠾⠿⠛⠀⠀⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠘⠀⠾⣿⣧⣤⣤⣶⡶⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢲⣦⣤⡄⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣉⠉⠁⢠⠀⠐⠀⠌⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⣈⣉⣁⣀⣄⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

twitchquotes: OpieOP ban OpieOP one OpieOP american OpieOP and OpieOP you OpieOP get OpieOP the OpieOP whole OpieOP mcdonalds OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing