[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games at a time

twitchquotes: 2 games at the same time? filthy casual. real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games with one hand tied behind their back. seriously kripp, if you want to keep your viewers you better step it up. sincerely, a soon to be ex-kripplet
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

forsenCoomer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡹⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⠋⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣦⣀⣿⣿⠿⢟ ⣿⣷⣬⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⠄⠄⣼⣿⣟⠙⢻⣿⠈⣴⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⠍⣫⡭⠉⠻⢿⣿⣧⢻⣮⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠿⢚⣱⣰⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠅⡀⠟⣱⣿⠿⠸⣿⣿⣧⡄⣤⡜⠛⣿⣿⣤⣀⣾⢘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⠖⣶⡇⣾⢏⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣥⡉⢳⣆⠈⠛⠿⠟⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢟⠶⣣⣾⣿⢇⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣙⣛⣛⣃⡺⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠓⢁⣾⣿⡟⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡹⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣸⣿⡿⢏⣈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿ ⣿⢃⣿⢛⣤⣾⣿⣿⣦⣍⡛⠟⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣧⠘⣿ ⡟⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⣿ ⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢤⣶⠄⣿
December 2020
Forsen

Emote

Mister I'm-too-boosted-to-read-my-chat

twitchquotes: FeelsRageMan Dear mister I'm-too-boosted-to-read-my-chat FeelsRageMan This will be the last message I ever send your ass FeelsRageMan
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Alright, Nario Quesadilla

twitchquotes: Alright, Nario Quesadilla. You had your fun bullying kids on quickplay and making them salty. Hope you feel proud, you’re not making ult online any better, personally I’m going back at watching ZeRo.
twitch chat
August 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
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