[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018

Kripp sends Hafu a romantic letter

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Hafu... Remember when i asked you to unleash your hounds on my freezing trap but instead you gave me an explosive shot to the face with your acidic swamp ooze? While i always love a good multishot to the face... you finished so quickly it fealt like i was having sex with Nozdormu or something... i mean, i am not just some succubus for you to shiv any time you please..
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

RIOT RIOT RIOT

twitchquotes: แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hey Reynad, this is a mean spirited comment

twitchquotes: @Reynad27, hey reynad this is a mean spirited comment with the sole purpose to offend you. Please destroy me with a hilarious comeback at your earliest convenience.
twitch chat
February 2016
Reynad

NaM emote

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
October 2018
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing