[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
December 2020

Rick and Morty

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021

Amogus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⣠⣶⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⣦⡀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⢹⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⡇⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⣠ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀ ⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠶⠿⠿⠿⠿⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⣠⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠈⠙⢷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⠿⠛⠁⢀⣶⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀ ⢷⣶⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡾⠃⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL

twitchquotes: DL aka “Dropped Liability” is an ex-ADC player for TL that is often ridiculed for his inability to use the summoner spell Flash. He is specifically known for his “Everyone is trash” mindset, which he only recently realized applied mostly to himself.
twitch chat
March 2020
Doublelift

League of Legends

SPAM THIS COKE TO MAKE DYNASTY CHOKE

twitchquotes: SPAM DrinkPurple THIS DrinkPurple COKE DrinkPurple TO DrinkPurple MAKE DrinkPurple DYNASTY DrinkPurple CHOKE DrinkPurple
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing