[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
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Twitch chat and Gaben

twitchquotes: (โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)(โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)(โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)(โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)(โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)(โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)(โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)(โ—•_โ—•)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎFUCK YOU GABEN (โ—•_โ—•)
twitch chat
February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

Spamming aliens and octopuses

twitchquotes: Honestly, chat, you guys are so immature. Do you really think you can affect the outcome of the game by spamming aliens and octopuses? You're really degrading my twitch experience with your mindless crowd mentality. Please stop, or else...
twitch chat
September 2018

Rhyme Chant

Misogynist Pig Kripp

twitchquotes: you have an "!imgay" response but don't have an "!imbi", "!imtrans*", "!imfurry", "!imreallyacat", or "!imfeminist" response? misogynist pig kripp
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Ban hammer

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

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