I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
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Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)
The other day, it was βtake your kid to work dayβ at my dadβs job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnβt help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, βIs this the Among Us but real??β My dad replied βNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.β
As we entered the building, my dad said βSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.β He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said βDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?β However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled βExecutive Meeting Roomβ. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me βHey buddy, are you lost?β I noticed that his nametag read βHugh Johnson, CFOβ. βDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?β, I asked. βNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!β He was yelling at me. So I said βYouβre sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aβ¦ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatβs funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!β I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said βWanna play some Among Us guys?β
The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said βYoung man, go back to the first floor now!β But the sexy woman I just couldnβt listen to as I admired her. βNo, because you have big tits.β Her jaw dropped, and she said, βYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!β She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said βDo you like what you see?β Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. βIβm so hot~~~~β I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnβt find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLYβ’
twitchquotes:
If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLYβ’. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLYβ’ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLYβ’ around my freshman year because I was just... οΌ¨ οΌ― οΌ² οΌ² οΌ© οΌ’ οΌ¬ οΌ₯... at typing! Grammarlyβ’ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLYβ’ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarlyβ’ is by far the οΌ’οΌ₯οΌ³οΌ΄ for improving your writing. GRAMMARLYβ’ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLYβ’ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
twitch chat
"Unsponsored Hero Academy 2β’ Stream
twitchquotes:
It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. βBoy,β he says, βwe got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!β The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. βWow!β says Hanks. βI donβt believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his βUnsponsoredβ Hero Academy 2β’ Stream!β
twitch chat
ASCENDED invisible spam
twitchquotes:
ASCENDED invisible spam ββ ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β β β ββββ β β β βββββββ β β β β β β β ββββ ββ ββ βββββββ β ββββββ β β β β β ββ βββ ββ ββββ β β 
twitch chat
Classic
F*ck this guy, f*ck you too
twitchquotes:
β αΆ α΅αΆα΅ α΅Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΅α΅ΚΈβ β αΆ α΅αΆα΅ ΚΈα΅α΅ α΅α΅α΅ β
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Reynad