[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
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Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Trolling My Office With Among Us

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Fancy crown

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣄⣰⣿⣿⣧⣀⣄⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣞⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣯⣟⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠋⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠀⢹⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣣⡀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣤⣠⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣄⣤⣠⣬⣿⣿⡿⠇⣠⣾⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣿⠿⠿⣻⣟⡛⢻⡛⢫⣽⡛⣿⡛⣻⣷⡻⣿⣿⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣸⣯⣿⡿⠷⠾⠷⠾⠿⠶⠾⠶⠿⢿⣿⣿⣺⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⣴⠛⣻⣇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⠀⣠⣴⡶⠛⠛⠓⢶⣄⠀⣠⡶⠛⠛⠳⢶⣦⣀⠀⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⣾⣛⠻⣆⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀ ⠀⠈⠈⠈⠙⣇⠀⠹⣦⠻⠟⠀⠘⣯⣿⣿⠾⣹⣏⣤⡀⣠⢤⣤⣹⣾⢯⣤⣤⣄⢀⣤⣻⡟⢷⣿⣯⣽⠀⠀⠻⢟⣼⠇⠀⡼⠋⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣦⣄⣈⣛⣛⣛⣿⡿⣿⣽⣷⣿⠿⢟⡇⣿⣈⣉⣱⣿⣌⣋⣁⡿⣾⡿⠿⣿⣾⡮⣿⣿⣟⣛⣛⣋⣁⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠙⠒⠛⠙⠛⠛⠁⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠈⠛⠛⠃⠛⠲⠋⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀
June 2021

Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀my gf telling the waitress ⠀_ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀\_⠀⠀my food is wrong /⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Y⌒⠀Y⠀️⠀️ヽ (⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀| |⠀️⠀️⠀️ノ⠀¯¯\⠀ ̄ ̄ヽノ ヽ___⠀⠀>、__/ ⠀⠀⠀|⠀(⠀王⠀)〈⠀⠀ (\__/) ⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ミ`——彡⠀\ (•ㅅ•) me
March 2021

Could you guys be more serious and stop the spamming

twitchquotes: guys could you please be a little serious and stop the spamming? people are trying to enjoy the stream here, its hard to find a place where im accepted for who i am and when i see you all spam kripps chat it makes me feel rly bad because i know that he wants you to learn instead of joke around as well
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing