[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Fuck you all, I’m never listening to this sub again.

Yesterday I said we’d see a rally like we’ve never seen before I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts. My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully I’ll make something. Somehow oil also tanked. Fuck you all. I’m only listening to myself now. You’re all retarded and so am I for listening to you. Edit: not sure why some of you degens think I’m blaming you. Of course it’s my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards See you tomorrow
March 2022

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I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

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Finland's national anthem

twitchquotes: Finland mentioned, so here is our national anthem: Isäm maa karjala perkele sauna kirves vaimo 6-1 omakotitalo vene terva mäntysuopa suomempystykorva konepistooli karhu ilves susi kossu viina pontikka metsä kiitos 39-45 veteraani Mannerheim Juti rillaa Seppo Räty Mika Häkkinen sydänkohtaus diabetes Trixi saatana.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

He needed PRECISELY those two inches to win!

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Jake has huge RipTires

twitchquotes: Jake has huge RipTires, he is one of the best players in OWL, when Jake isn`t beating up people in Overwatch, he`s beating people in real life so you better think before you speak, peace out.
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

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Text-to-Speech Playing