[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Attention all Fortnite gamers

twitchquotes: Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

Fortnite

Pulp Fiction

⠌⠊⠆⠕⠅⠕⠌⡆⣃⠪⠢⠣⡱⡑⢕⢅⢣⠱⡡⡣⡣⡣⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⢄⠢⢀⠄⡁⢀⠠⠄⠄⡀⠅⠈⡈⢸⢸⢪⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡿⣿⡟⣿⣻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠪⡐⡌⢆⢎⢢⠶⠿⠻⡟⠻⠾⠰⡕⡝⡜⣔⢕⢕⠄⡣⡣⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠯⠘⠄⠁⠄⠄⠉⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡊⢔⠜⡌⠎⢈⣬⣥⣤⣴⣶⠄⠄⠈⢪⡳⣕⡕⡧⡁⣇⢇⢇⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⡏⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡨⠢⡑⡕⠄⢐⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⢧⠄⠄⠘⣞⡞⡮⡳⡁⣇⢇⠧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢇⡂⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢀⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠠⡑⢌⢺⡀⠰⣤⣖⣯⢶⣽⣟⠆⡄⠄⣗⡯⣯⣣⠃⣇⢇⢏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣠⡖⡦⣽⡿⢆⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢐⠨⡐⣝⣇⠄⣝⣯⢭⢽⣻⡺⠅⠄⠄⣿⢽⣳⣳⠁⢱⢱⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠈⠢⢕⠝⠐⠄⡑⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣔⣅⣆⣗⢿⡀⢐⢡⢭⢼⠸⠈⠄⠄⠄⣻⣟⣷⢷⢅⡇⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠡⠄⠄⠄⠂⣊⣼⣿⠄⢠⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡯⠏⠃⠋⠃⠘⣷⣄⡀⢀⣤⠆⡄⠄⠛⣛⢙⢋⠃⢗⡝⡌⠄⣠⣤⣶⣶⡲⡶⡲⡆⢒⣶⠂⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠙⠻⡿⡶⣦⣤⡀ ⠛⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡯⢩⣿⣿⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⣿⣎⢇⢀⢼⠌⠪⠁⠄⢙⠽⠻⢸⠏⠐⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠁⠄⠠⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣼⡿⠗⡚⢛⣯⢿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣯⣧⡶⠶⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣝⠁⢐⣀⢁⠄⠆⠊⠚⠛⢢⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢭⡛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡎⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡧⢸⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣮⠃⠁⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣝⢈⡇⠄⠄⠬⠐⠄⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⢸⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡄⠁⢰⣶⣏⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣟⠄⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⢸⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠁⠄⠈⣷⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣗⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠭⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡳⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠕⡽⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⣻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢠⣬⣿⣻⡆⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⢽⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠃⠄⠄⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠪⡂⠄⠄⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢤⣀ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡶⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡜⣾⣿⣷⢶⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢀ ⣺⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠈⠈⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠈ ⢷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠈⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
September 2021

People space jammed from the oldest of times

twitchquotes: From the oldest of times, people jammed for a number of reasons. They jammed in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they Jammed to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they Jammed to celebrate." And that is the Jamming we're talking about. Aren't we told in Psalm 149 "Praise ye the Lord Octavian. Slam Jam unto the Lord Octavian a new song. Let them praise His name in the Space Jam"? And it was King David - King David, who we read about in Samuel - and what did David do? What did David do? He jammed
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

xqc DUD

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣐⡓⢘⣃⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⢹⣿⠈⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⣿⡇⢹⣿⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢠⣿⣧⣼⠟⠀⠿⣧⣤⠟⢠⣿⣧⣼⠟⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021
xQcOW

We are not the same (Amogus edition)

We are not the same For instance You say kid 👦 we say mini-crewmate You say earth 🌎 we say Mira-hq You say suspicious🥷, we say sussy bakas You say “he was murdered so I called the police”, we say “EMERGENCY MEETING” You say “the joke is dead” we say Among us poop mod 2021 (still working) (free) (not click bait)
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing