[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Amogus

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February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, β€œAlright, but catch and release only – I’m vegan.” They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, β€œGet down!”. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, β€œFucking stream snipers.”
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

This streamer loves COCK

THIS STREAMER LOVES β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•— β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β• β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•β•β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘ β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•— β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β–‘β•šβ•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•
February 2021

You have been warned!

twitchquotes: Excuse me but how dare you guys do this to me? Last week i wrote a beautiful story here on twitch chat and people just started stealing it and posting it as their own. If this continues i'll be forced to take action. You have been warned!
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing