I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator
twitchquotes:
You have been reported. I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Twitch Moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge. Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you'll be seeing a lot of it.
twitch chat
MODS
All intensive purposes
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like itโs a peach of cake.
Response to Sadge brother letter
twitchquotes:
๐ โ ๏ธ 
๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ต. ๐๐ฝ ๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ถ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ช ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฟ๐ฎ, ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ, ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฌ๐ด ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐๐ช๐ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ธ๐ท.
๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ๐ต๐ต. ๐๐ฝ ๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ถ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ช ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฟ๐ฎ, ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ, ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฌ๐ด ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐๐ช๐ ๐ผ๐ธ๐ธ๐ท.
twitch chat
Forsen
Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)
Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans?
Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves.
Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill.
But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
Pokemon
I'm Kripp Harrison, and this is my Hearthstone stream
twitchquotes:
I'm Kripp Harrison, and this is my Hearthstone stream. I work here with my dog and my wife, Rania the Succubus. Every arena run in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know WHAT my opponent is going to topdeck
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Kripp