[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
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Kripp's lettuce points

twitchquotes: The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Chika dance

⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢀⣴⡾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠺⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣴⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢸⣿⣿⠟⣴⣿⡿⡟⡼⢹⣷⢲⡶⣖⣾⣶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⢫⣾⣿⡟⣾⡸⢠⡿⢳⡿⠍⣼⣿⢏⣿⣷⢄⡀⠄⢠⣾⢻⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣡⣿⣿⡟⡼⡁⠁⣰⠂⡾⠉⢨⣿⠃⣿⡿⠍⣾⣟⢤⣿⢇⣿⢇⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣱⣿⣿⡟⡐⣰⣧⡷⣿⣴⣧⣤⣼⣯⢸⡿⠁⣰⠟⢀⣼⠏⣲⠏⢸⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠟⣁⠄⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣼⢟⢀⡼⠃⡹⠃⡀⢸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢀⣾⠋⠓⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣾⣅⢔⣕⡇⡇⡼⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⣾⣇⠷⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣀⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⡧⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾ ⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⠇⠄⠄⢿⣿⡇⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣼⣿ ⣿⣷⢰⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣧⣀⡄⢀⠘⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣼⣿⣿ ⢹⣿⢸⣿⣿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣉⣤⣿⢈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣾⣹⣿⣿ ⢸⠇⡜⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣱⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢳⠃⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣰⡗⠹⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣅⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣾⡌⢠⣿⡿⠃ ⠜⠋⢠⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣥⣾⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠄⠄
April 2019

Weebs

Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico. Me Englando is ferry bad but i just wantet to zay zat i crossed the river in a rubber boot to Murica to become a pro player! One day i saw ur stream and i see how handsome and good u are. Dat day i decided i wanna become like u! Zo i killed my wife sold her, bought a rubber boat and now im here! Zank u for inspiring me! One day i become good player and pimp like u! or else rapist like unle Benni No coparoni peperoni pastarino plz!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

UPLOADING VIRUS EXE

twitchquotes: UPLOADING VIRUS EXE ████████████████] 98%
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

I will cut off your dick if you cheat on me

(✿ ◕‿◕) ᓄ✂╰U╯
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing