[Copypasta] ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️‍🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

Leave the competition to the the competitors

twitchquotes: WHY in the FUCK do you PLEBS roll in here and think you can backseat game the GREAT [insert streamer name]. He is a god who floats in your sea of wrong on his ship of right. His plays are FLAWLESS and every loss he takes is pure, unadultared, rng, bullshit. Get your tiny minds out of here and go watch something more casual!! Leave the competition to the the competitors. [insert streamer name] god has essential work to do.
twitch chat
April 2020

PepeHands

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢠⠤⠖⠒⠒⠲⢬⣇⣀⠤⠠⢄⣀⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡯⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡶⠖⠲⠾⣢⡠⣴⡲⠶⠶⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢞⣛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠷⢶⡶⠶⠶⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⢠⠴⠞⠋⠀⠐⠲⠼⣷⠖⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⢻⣿⣿⡿⢃⢰⡍⠝⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣵⣖⣓⡲⠦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣨⡥⢆⣏⢨⠻⡘⣆⣷⡸⣸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⡈⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⢂⡄⡀⠀⡄⠶⠶⠶⣂⡿⢻⢸⣷⣾⣿⢟⣵⣿ ⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢦⡀⢸⣤⣇⢠⡇⢰⠐⣿⡟⢰⣿⣿⠟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣙⠻⢿⢿⣿⠖⢫⣾⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡆⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣷⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⢻⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⢘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⢣⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣧⣌⠻⢿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

This is an absolutely worthless comment

This is an absolutely worthless comment, and yet it has been upvoted. You have contributed absolutely nothing to any semblance of discussion, and your one word comment at the top has taken away from the others who have commented real things below you. I would kindly suggest that you delete your comment and let the others shine
May 2022

Reddit

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing