[Copypasta] โš ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my p***s was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
December 2021
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YOU DIRTY SELLOUT

twitchquotes: Hi qtpie, my name is Dave, and I work at YOU DIRTY SELLOUT. We at the YOU DIRTY SELLOUT team are huge fans, and we would be willing to come to a large cash agreement if you engage in SELLOUT activities on stream. Look forward to it.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

sellout

Running dog

โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ•ฒโ–•โ–‹โ–•โ–‹โ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–†โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ–โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–•โ–”โ•ฐโ”โ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฑโ–”โ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ•ฒโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฒโ–‚โ•ฒโ–‚โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฒโ•ฑโ•ฒโ•ฑโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

The salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound

twitchquotes: Dear reynard. I was hiking in the Amazon Rainforest the other day when I was bit by a snake. Miles from the nearest city, I thought my life was over as the venom slowly spread across my body. But then I used my 4G to open twitch and the salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound and saved my life. Thanks Reynad!
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Lenny face centipede

โ•šโ•( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆ..โ•š(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ• โ€ฆโ€ฆโ•š(โ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ• โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ(โ–ˆ) โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.*
ascii art
December 2020

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021
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