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I sexually identify as a single Pringle
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy
Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest:
Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dickπ is like 1 cmπ₯)
Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl π³ππ°, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possibleππππ€)
Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanctionπππππππ¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦)
Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the KamasutraππΊβππ)
Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! β½β’οΈππ)
What u guys think?
Russian Ukrainian War
My son can be homer sexual
twitchquotes:
My son π¦π» can be homer sexual π³οΈβπ My daughter π§π» can be lebanese π But I will NEVER βΌοΈ Raise a child πΆπ» who likes Jake and Logan Paul π
π»β
twitch chat
Every night when I lie in bed, I think about Sneaky
twitchquotes:
Every night when I lie in bed, I think about Sneaky naked. For each sexy thought, I stick one of my fingers up my tight moist butthole. I think about his soft ass flesh, tender yet firm. That's one finger. Next I think about his pale thighs, what they would feel like pounding against my anus. 2 fingers. Next up I think about that long, girthy, uncircumsized penis. 3 fingers. No more fingers will fit, so I prepare for my climax. I scream Sneaky's name as I cover my fishtank in warm lovejuice
twitch chat
Sneaky
They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger
They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.