[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
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Surprised bird

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January 2017

WutFace

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣤⣭⣋⣻⣋⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣛⠛⡉⠩⣭⣍⣷⢮⣤⡉⢧⣀⣀⣈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠟⠑⠘⢿⣿⣿⣶⡂⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡀⢾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠩⠤⠄⠁⠄⢻⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣥⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⡇⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠒⢺⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠟⠄⠄⠼⠋⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... 👀🌮🎉 but all I want 🙏🏻 is cinco DICKS 🌯 in my May-OUTH 😩👅💦 Today the SEXicans 😍🇲🇽 beat the French 😒🇫🇷 at the Battle of Puebla 🔫☠ and now you're gonna get your piñata beat 😜😩 with a huge stick 😳🎉 but ❗️ONLY❗️ if you send 📲 this to 5️⃣ amigos 👬 you'd cross borders ➡️ for 👌🏻💯 Get 5️⃣ back 🔙 and you'll find the Juan for you tonight ❤️☺️😘
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect. I shall take a moment to teach the people about bee excrement. Firstly, to the woe of those into both pee and bee, bees do not pee. Insects entirely lack kidneys, bladders, livers, and more. Now, to the question regarding the post, do bees fart, and if they do, is it an extremely dirty fart at that? Well, lets first discuss bee poop. bees mostly use everything when making honey, which is basically pure energy and nutrients. Bee poop is mostly undigested pollen grains and more complex sugars. A bee could poop in your ice cream, and you would be none the wiser. you might even like, it better, for reasons ranging from "culinary" to sexual. Bees are surprisingly clean creatures, and despite bee poop basically being failed candy, bees always leave the hive to poop, they do not poop inside the hive. As for the farting part, it is without a doubt that any animal could potentially have air trapped inside it, and therefore must expel it, however farting as we know it is much more than that. Regardless, a bee would not "fart", and if they did, it would be more akin to a floral perfume than a burst of sulfur and feces. also the head and legs look a bit weird, 4/10
May 2022

Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game “Among Us” after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said ‘kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll “eject” me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a “crewmate”. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use “vent” to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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