About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Slim down and shout less T1
twitchquotes:
Hey T1, I was wondering if you could please take a month off of going to the gym to slim down a bit? Your huge masculine, muscular frame intimidates me and distracts me from the gameplay that I'm here to savor. Also please try to shout less I have sensitive ears. Thank you 
twitch chat
Tyler1
Minecraft creeper head v2
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Minecraft
Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag
twitchquotes:
BAN ONE 12 YEAR OLD AND YOU GET THE WHOLE 9GAG
BAN ONE 12 YEAR OLD AND YOU GET THE WHOLE 9GAG
twitch chat
Ban X Get The Whole Y
Szechuan sauce at McDonald's
"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!β. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, βWUBBALUBBA DUB DUBβ whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesnβt understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
Rick and Morty
Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)
The other day, it was βtake your kid to work dayβ at my dadβs job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnβt help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, βIs this the Among Us but real??β My dad replied βNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.β
As we entered the building, my dad said βSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.β He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said βDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?β However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled βExecutive Meeting Roomβ. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me βHey buddy, are you lost?β I noticed that his nametag read βHugh Johnson, CFOβ. βDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?β, I asked. βNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!β He was yelling at me. So I said βYouβre sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aβ¦ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatβs funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!β I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said βWanna play some Among Us guys?β
The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said βYoung man, go back to the first floor now!β But the sexy woman I just couldnβt listen to as I admired her. βNo, because you have big tits.β Her jaw dropped, and she said, βYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!β She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said βDo you like what you see?β Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. βIβm so hot~~~~β I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnβt find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.