About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)
Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
Big butt crewmate
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣻⣯⣽⣟⠿⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡹⢁⣴⣷⣿⣿⣷⣆⣤⡀⠠⢬⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⢸⣿⡖⣄⠹⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣼⠂⢸⣿⣿⣾⠯⢟⠋⠿⣿⡿⣳⡿⣳⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡻⣿⢡⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣭⣯⡆⢰⣤⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣤⡈⠛⠛⠙⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣤⣤⡉⢻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢋⣉⣁⣈⣉⣀⣈⣉⣉⣉⣁⡐⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿
⣿⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠇⣸⣿
⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠛⠿⠋⢠⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣆⠘⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠂⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢀⣉⣩⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Among Us / Amogus
Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed
twitchquotes:
Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
PewDiePie saying the N word
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣭⡇⢽⣿⣿⠏⣀⣶⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣛⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡛⠈⠛⠁⠙⠉⠛⠿⠛⢟⡿⣿⣷⡝⢿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡹⠄⢀⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡍⠹⡿⠆⠙⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢫⣷⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣏⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡘⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣹⣏⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⣼⣋⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠈⠛⢿⠏⢙⠈⠁⠄⠙⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠄⠹⠟⠛⠉⠡⠿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿
⣿⣿⠿⠃⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹
⠄⠄⢀⡆⣰⠟⠷⣤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⢀⠎⠄⠃⢀⠞⠉⢳⣴⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀
