About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
haven’t done assassins in a while
twitchquotes:
"alright, locket I guess” 
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
“haven’t done assassins in a while” “guess I’ll pick up this akali” “oh look, 6 assassins”
twitch chat
Teamfight Tactics
My opponent draws cards every turn BabyRage
twitchquotes:
MY OPPONENT DRAWS CARDS EVERY TURN
MY OPPONENT DRAWS CARDS EVERY TURN
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
salty
neverlucky
🍆HAPPY SPANKSGIVING💦
‼️ITS🍗 SPANKSGIVING 🍂 BITCHES‼️On this day 🗓 many years ago 😮 the SLUTTY 👠 PILGRIMS 🎩 sailed ⛵️ across the ASSlantic 🌊 HOEcean in a quest 👀to find 🔎 more 😍 COCKS 🍆 to SUCK! 👅 Together with the 😈 NAUGHTY 😈 NATIVES 👹, they gathered 👫 around the dinner table 🍽 and had 🎉 our nation’s very 1️⃣st GANG BANG! 👯♀️👯👯♂️ We honor 🙌🏻 their ORGY 😮 every year 📆 by giving THANKS 🙏🏼 to all 🥰 that’s important ❤️ to us: Family 👨👩👧👦, Friends 👬, Freedom 🇺🇸, and DICK! 🍆🌽👅 So grab your BUNS, 🍞✊👉👌squeeze those BREASTS, 🍗🔥🤲 and shove a cornaCOPIOUS 🌽🌽 amount of DICK 🍆 😩 into that hungry 😮 hungry HOLE! 🕳💓👅 Ladies 👯♀️, just like your 🦃 THOTSgiving 🦃 turkey, it’s time ⏰ to throw your legs 🤸🏼♀️in the air 🤸🏼♀️and prepare to get ➡️ STUFFED 🙀!
After dinner,🍴it’s time 😮 for CUMPKIN PIE!! 🥧 Show Daddy 👨🏽🦳 how 🙏🏼 thankful 🙏🏼 you are and LICKK 😛 his WishBONE 🦴 until he gets as HARD 🏔as PlyMOUTH rock ⛰ and shoots 💦 his HOMEADE GRAVY 🥣! 👅 Midnight 🌙 starts 😈 BLACK ⬛️ FRIDAY 🛍 so send 📤 this to 🔟 THOTS 💁🏻♀️you are thankful 🙏🏼 for! If you get 0️⃣ back, sail 🔙 to England 🖕🏻🤮 If you get 5️⃣ back, you’ll be getting your corn 🌽 CREAMED 😋🥰. Get 🔟 back or more, and the 🙀 BIGGEST, 🙀 GIRTHIEST, BLACK⚫️ FRIDAY 🍆 COCK 😱 is CUMMING 💦YOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT 🙀😍🙀😍🙀😍
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Thanksgiving
NSFW
Holiday
Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat
i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
Classic
Ratge
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⣻⣻⠁⠀⡄⠬⠍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⠀⠀⡔⠛⠛⠒⠦⠀⠈⠛⢄⣈⣧⠤⣀⠀⠘⣾⢛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡏⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠔⠉⡈⠉⠛⡷⠁⣤⡀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⣸⠻⡆⠀⠈⠀⣿⣩⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣷⡶⣾⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠿⠞⠀⠀⠀⡦⣈⣁⣠⣔⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣹⠃⠀⠀⣀⡀⡀⠀⢰⡀⠸⣑⢤⣀⣠⡤⠎⠙⠲⠯⣭⡋⠛⠿⣿⣿⣟⣿
⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢉⠟⠉⠛⢯⣛⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣄⣀⣹
⣿⡏⠈⠉⠉⢹⠉⠙⣭⣉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠒⠒⣒⣚⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⡀⠉⠙⠓⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠛⢛⣉⣉⣭⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠓⠖⠲⠒⠒⣛⣭⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠤⠴⠶⠖⠚⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿