About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.
This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
WallStreetBets
Am I The Asshole?
Who let the dongs out?!
twitchquotes:
ヽ༼◕ل͜◕༽ﾉ Who let the dongs out?! Woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯ Woof woof woof woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Among Us in Real Life Full Lyrics
Among Us in real life (sus, sus)
Among Us in real life (sus, sus)
Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew
Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do
Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage
Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage?
Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down
Then I find a dead body
Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe?
Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see
Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete
Who's the impostеr?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can wе trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter
I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher
I'm paying attention using my 360 vision
If it gets quiet, I listen
Make sure there's nothing I'm missing
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
It wasn't me (or me)
It definitely wasn't me
No one can be trusted because someone is lying
We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win
Everyone is sus so let this last round begin
There's an imposter among us
Trying to take something from us
We're still over here working
While she's just ghosting above us
Someone's under suspicion
Sabotaging our mission
Doing my task in the kitchen
Until I stop, look, and listen
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
Who's the imposter?
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me
While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree
Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us
We can discuss whoever took your life
But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah
That's me holding this knife
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Looking sus, who can we trust?
I'm the imposter
Among Us / Amogus
Hey chat, take it easy please
twitchquotes:
Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you.
twitch chat
Tempo Storm
A huge hurricane is coming QTs way
twitchquotes:
Its 2019. A huge hurricane is coming QTs way. As theyre packing, they noticed they only have room for 3 pets in their car. A sad voice opens up in QTs mouth - "Dapper, No 
". He was left behind.
". He was left behind.
twitch chat
imaqtpie