[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ry216i/comment/hrmismb/
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Henry Stickmin

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August 2021

Shaggy Doo

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
September 2021

Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

WallStreetBets

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 2

So yesterday at lunch, I was about to eat with my friends from band when I realized that there was an empty seat at a table with some of the popular kids. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to troll them, and perhaps befriend some of them. I sat at their table, and right as I sat down, I noticed that one of the kids (who happened to be black) was sitting above a vent. I yelled "Black is sus! He's on top of a vent!!" Everyone at the table looked up at me, but no one laughed (they probably didn't get the reference). I decided that I would try to get them to be familiar with it, so I asked "Do to guys wanna play some Among Us???" They were all dead silent (honestly they just didn't know how fun of a game it was). I slapped the middle of our table (to mimick the "emergency meeting" feature in Among Us), and I screamed "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!" Again, none of them laughed. One of them looked at me and said "Can you please sit somewhere else?" At this point, I realized that I had to make them laugh quickly, or I would blow my chance with them. I made the widest grin I could possibly make (Trying to mimick the "When the imposter is sus" meme) and I said "When the impoter is sus". I then tried to make a face that resembled the "Flushed" emoji (as part of the meme). However, I don't think any of them understood the reference. I then pulled up the among us theme song on Youtube and played it on full blast. At this point, everyone at my table was asking for me to leave, and their friend came back, who regularly sat in the chair I was sitting in. I went back to sit with my friends from band. However, I will forever remember the time I trolled ALL of the popular kids in my grade.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Canadaland

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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