About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother
twitchquotes:
Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother, I am here to politely ask you all to stop making fun of my son. He has always had social problems and it really hurts his feelings when you guys make fun of him. I'm sure you will all be reasonable about this.
twitch chat
Kripp
what a underwhelming genesis
twitchquotes:
time to say goodbye to my favorite game, what a underwhelming genesis. i hate to be that salty kid but hbox legit ruins it all. imagine how much bigger and better this game would be if he just played ulti. you guys can have him lol
twitch chat
VGBootCamp
Super Smash Bros
69 is very funny.
Haha 69. It's funny because 69ing, or doing 69, is sharing oral sex with your partner; in other words, it’s giving and receiving oral sex at the same time.
Oral sex is when people use their mouths to stimulate another person’s genitals.
Oral sex on a woman is called “cunnilingus.” On a man it’s called “fellatio.” Anyone — girl or guy — can give or receive oral sex as long as she or he is comfortable with it and wants to engage in in oral sex.
Oral sex cannot cause pregnancy. But it can pass on infections, whether the person is giving or receiving genital stimulation. These infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, herpes, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus, human papilloma virus (HPV), herpes, and, rarely, HIV and chlamydia. Oral sex is generally less risky for these infections than unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but there is still some risk.
Using a barrier can reduce the risks. For safer oral sex, use a condom to cover the penis, or a Sheer Glyde dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the vulva or anus.
In reference to the sex position, "69" has become an internet meme, where users will respond to any occurrence of the number with the word "nice" and draw specific attention to it. This means to sarcastically imply that the reference to the sex position was intentional. Because of its association with the sex position and resulting meme, "69" has become known as "the sex number" in certain communities.
NSFW
G2 Esports
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League of Legends
I've always wanted to be an octopusserino
twitchquotes:
ive always wanted to be an octopusserino but everytime i try to tell someone they make fun of me. well ive had it up to here. today is the day i put my tentacles down. im sick and tired of people telling me what i can and cant be. i will be getting surgery to split my legs like pasterinos so i can have tentacles if you copy and pasterino my story to mock me i swear i will ink all over your face!
twitch chat
Kripp