About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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United States of America is now known as West Iran
twitchquotes:
The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?
This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
Am I The Asshole?
WallStreetBets
Your Social Credit score increased
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France always loses wars to England?
You’re right, France does always lose wars to England. Except: The Norman invasion 1066. The Anglo-French War 1213-1214. Anglo-French War 1294-1303. War of Saint-Sardos 1324. Hundred Years’ War 1337-1453. War of the league of Cambrai 1512-1514. Italian War of 1542-46. The Rough Wooing 1543-1550. Italian War of 1551-59. English expedition to France 1562-1563. The Anglo-French War 1627-1629. Second Anglo-Dutch War 1665-1667. The Nine Years’ War 1688-1697. The American Revolutionary War. War of the French Revolution 1793-1802. Anglo-Spanish War 1796-1808. War of the First Coalition. War of the Second Coalition. War of the Third Coalition. War of the Fourth Coalition. And the War of the Fifth Coalition.
But aside from all those England always beats France.
So you're going by "c9Sneaky" now nerd?
twitchquotes:
So you're going by "c9Sneaky" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Antwan250 the boy you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic
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Sneaky