About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Banana
twitchquotes:
banana, you're a banana. are you feeling sorry for yourself? well you should be cause you are fruit, you make me sick you big banana.
twitch chat
Riot Games
Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire
twitchquotes:
Hello "Kripparrian", this is *** Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire. I hear you are starting a cooking show "Papparrian & Lil' Kripp's kitchen" and I would like to send you my special pasta recipe to get you started you lil fucker. cheers mate. Please no copy tagliolini, serious business
twitch chat
Kripp
LCS sponsorships
I canβt wait to see TSM FTX take DIG QNTMPAYβs CISCO NEXUS after they win the GRUBHUB team fight and get a BUD LIGHT ACE at the 
BULL BARON. I can then tweet on the VERIZON 5G all chat during the ROCCAT REPLAY and STATE FARM analyst desk.
BULL BARON. I can then tweet on the VERIZON 5G all chat during the ROCCAT REPLAY and STATE FARM analyst desk.
sellout
League of Legends
Time is tickling
Time is tickling β°β° SEND ππ² this π€³ to TEN (π) FESTIVE FREAKS π
πΏπ―ββοΈπΊ if u get π BACK your a π€€π STUFFED STOCKING SLORE ππ§¦πππ»ππ³ get 5οΈβ£ BACK and ur a πππ Horny Xmas Ham ππ·π€ͺπͺ΅π₯ππ but if u get 0οΈβ£ back π΅ u got a π₯ DRY Cπ
ΎοΈAL CUNT π§π΅π°ππ±π₯²π
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Christmas
I sexually Identify as a Bastion
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. Iβm having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat