[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
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Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is my favorite game! (Thanks for agreeing to post some positive feedback about our game. Just post this in Kripp's Twitch chat as often as possible. Make sure to remove this message before you post it. Thanks! -Art of Conquest Team)
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Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game โ€œAmong Usโ€ after playing it on his computer. While i didnโ€™t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susโ€™ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said โ€˜kickedโ€™. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heโ€™ll โ€œejectโ€ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripโ€™, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a โ€œcrewmateโ€. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use โ€œventโ€ to get there. I donโ€™t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
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Stop calling slabs "half-slabs," you fucking imbeciles.

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MLK day emojipasta

heyyy ๐Ÿ‘‹ Marthin Luther QUEENS ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ i have a dream ๐Ÿ˜ด ๐Ÿ›Œ that you will be dicked ๐Ÿ† down โฌ‡๏ธ tonight like DADDY ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟโ€๐Ÿฆณ Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted ๐Ÿ˜ŒโœŠ๐Ÿฟ so MARCH ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™€๏ธ on down โฌ‡๏ธ to his washington monument ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and have a SIT IN ๐ŸงŽโ€โ™€๏ธ on that DICK ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† Make sure to ABOLISH his KKKOCK ๐Ÿ—ฝ like a TRUE PATRIOT ๐Ÿ—ฝ segregate those cheeks ๐Ÿ‘ tonight it doesnโ€™t matter ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ if his fountain ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ is BLACK or WHITE ๐Ÿค we are all CUMRADES ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ in the fight against discrimination ๐Ÿ˜ SOAK those PANTIFA ๐Ÿฉฒ our TWERK is not over โ€ผ๏ธ SEND this ๐Ÿ“ค to โœŒ๏ธ every WOKE HOE ๐Ÿคฏ you know ๐Ÿ†˜ Get 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ BACK to END racism โœŠ and UNITE the races in SEXUAL ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ HARMONY โ˜ฎ๏ธ
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MLK Day

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