About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Kapp
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The salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound
twitchquotes:
Dear reynard. I was hiking in the Amazon Rainforest the other day when I was bit by a snake. Miles from the nearest city, I thought my life was over as the venom slowly spread across my body. But then I used my 4G to open twitch and the salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound and saved my life. Thanks Reynad!
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Reynad
Kurumx's head with a bird
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Kurumx
Teamfight Tactics
On the backs of the oppressed, I ascend the plebian ladder
twitchquotes:
໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ On the backs of the oppressed, i ascend the plebian ladder. ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७
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Forsen
plebs vs subs
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes
twitchquotes:
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... 
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Kripp