About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?
I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic.
I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it.
I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it.
How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality.
My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes.
Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me?
Thanks !!
EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
Mario Kart banana peel
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⢸⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠛⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢠⠀⡄⠀⣿⠀⢀⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⠚⠀⠃⠀⣿⣴⠞⠉⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⣀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⠛⢳⣤⣤⡶⠛⠃⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠚⣶⡾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡾⠻⣧⡀⠀⠀⢘⣷⣄⣀⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠘⠻⣦⣤⣈⣁⣀⣠⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Spits out cereal guy
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣞⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⢾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣬⣵⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠙⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡣⡀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⢁⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠠⢦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠈⠒⠤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣀⠤⠐⠳⣦⣤⣤⣤⠶⠶⠶⢦⣤⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⡟⠋⠻⣶⡒⠒⠦⠤⡤⡈⢻⡆
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⣸⠇
⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣖⣺⢻⣝⣋⣽⣳⣶⣶⣿⣦⡴⣼⢷⡟⠋⠀
⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣌⠉⠉⠉⣡⠞⠉⠉⠛⠳⢶⣼⢸⠂⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⡀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣕⡋⠘⠐⠂⡑⠃⠉⢲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⢀⡤⠰⡎⠈⣉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⡎⠀⠠⣀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠠⢄⠈⡗⠲⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢥⣦⠶⣗⢩⣰⢈⢁⠀⣀⠀⠀⢀⠨⢠⠇⠀⢹⢳⡉⣓⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠉⠙⠢⠥⣄⣀⣀⣀⣤⠴⠋⠀⠀⢸⡎⣿⡀⠀⢹⣏⠉⠉⠒⢦⠀
⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⢸⣇⣴⠈⣿⡄⠀⢀⠻⠀
⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⣶⣭⣽⣻⣻⣯⣽⣿⣿⣀⣻⡇⠀⠀⡅⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠚⠋⠳⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠞⠃⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⠓
Raise ur Blue Cards
Penis Inspection Day
twitchquotes:
I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat