About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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Our dongers will never lower
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OUR BULLETS WILL ANNIHILATE YOU β γ€: β’Μ β β’Μ : β-οΈ»β¦Μ΅βββ€β OUR BLADES WILL PIERCE YOUR SKIN αΰ² o ΰ² )Β€=[]:::::> OUR BEASTS WILL RIP YOU APART ੧㳠ˡ ΰ² α΄₯ ΰ² Λ΅ γ΅γβ. OUR WIZARDS WILL CURSE YOU FOR ETERNITY ΰΌΌβ©ΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½γ€ββοΎ.*ο½₯ο½‘οΎ AND OUR DONGERS WILL NEVER LOWER
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this streamer is look very nerd
twitchquotes:
this streamer is look very nerd 
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My son can be homer sexual
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My son π¦π» can be homer sexual π³οΈβπ My daughter π§π» can be lebanese π But I will NEVER βΌοΈ Raise a child πΆπ» who likes Jake and Logan Paul π
π»β
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Greggnog
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
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This is Catarrian's mother
twitchquotes:
Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
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