About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
T U C K F R U M P brofist edition
twitchquotes:
╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey F R U M P, here's a " T U C K " for you. ╭∩╮( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
Trump
hasanabi hey man big fan of your wikifeet page
twitchquotes:
hasanabi hey man big fan of your wikifeet page. After a thorough review of your gallery I have to admit you have some gorgeous feet. Toe-to-foot ratio is perfect. Toe nails are clean and well taken care of. Big fan of the contrasting tones of the soles and arches. The only bit of criticism I have is that you have no pics in nylon which is unfortunate.
twitch chat
HasanAbi
69 is very funny.
Haha 69. It's funny because 69ing, or doing 69, is sharing oral sex with your partner; in other words, it’s giving and receiving oral sex at the same time.
Oral sex is when people use their mouths to stimulate another person’s genitals.
Oral sex on a woman is called “cunnilingus.” On a man it’s called “fellatio.” Anyone — girl or guy — can give or receive oral sex as long as she or he is comfortable with it and wants to engage in in oral sex.
Oral sex cannot cause pregnancy. But it can pass on infections, whether the person is giving or receiving genital stimulation. These infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, herpes, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus, human papilloma virus (HPV), herpes, and, rarely, HIV and chlamydia. Oral sex is generally less risky for these infections than unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but there is still some risk.
Using a barrier can reduce the risks. For safer oral sex, use a condom to cover the penis, or a Sheer Glyde dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the vulva or anus.
In reference to the sex position, "69" has become an internet meme, where users will respond to any occurrence of the number with the word "nice" and draw specific attention to it. This means to sarcastically imply that the reference to the sex position was intentional. Because of its association with the sex position and resulting meme, "69" has become known as "the sex number" in certain communities.
NSFW
Fabulous
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My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?
My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?