About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
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More Copypastas
Kripp's next hoodie color
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, Im excited to think of what the next hoodie color will be. This ones been going strong 20 days in a row now. Maybe we'll go back to the blue one or even the other light grey one that was worn for 30+ days. It's like a game now.
twitch chat
Kripp
boosted.dll
twitchquotes:
Hi Micheal, it's Mark from ScreenColor LLC! We have identified your grey screen problem as being located in two files called "feed.dll" and "boosted.dll", you can safely delete them and it should be good!
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Kripp paints and is one off lethal
twitchquotes:
Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. click He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Among Us pick up lines
Thankful to have you as a crewmate… but do you want to add a letter and become screwmates instead?
Hey, are you one of my tasks? Because I really want to do you.
Hey, are you a vent? Because I’m the imposter and I’d love to come in you.
I have a lot of tasks to complete still, but I’d love to do you first.
Hey, call me the MedBay… because I’d love to scan your body.
Figuring out the imposter is hard…. but I’ve got something harder.
I’m jealous of your hat… Because it gets to be on you.
Hey are you busy later? Because I’d love to explore your lower engine.
Hey, you’re done your tasks right? Wanna come explore my cockpit then?
If you’re the imposter, I’d love to be the vent… That way you can come inside me whenever you want.
Damn, I wish you were a task… Because I’d have no problem doing you and over and over.
Hey did you just kill me? Because I’ve got a big bone sticking out now…
Among Us / Amogus
I sexually Identify as a Lamborghini
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as a ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of ＤＲＩＶing ＵＰ ＨＥＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＨＯＬＬＹＷＯＯＤ ＨＩＬＬＳ. People say to me that a person being a ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ is Impossible and I’m ＭＡＴＥＲＩＡＬＩＳＴＩＣ but I don’t care, I’m this ＮＥＷ ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ ＨＥＲＥ. I’m having a plastic surgeon install , 7 ＮＥＷ bookshelves and ２０００ ｎｅｗ ｂｏｏｋｓ on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “ＮＥＷ ＬＡＭＢＯＲＧＨＩＮＩ ＨＥＲＥ” and respect my right to ＤＲＩＶＥ ＵＰ ＨＥＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＨＯＬＬＹＷＯＯＤ ＨＩＬＬＳ. If you can’t accept me you’re a ＬＡＭＢＯphobe and need to check your ＧＮＡＷＬＩＤＧＥ. Thank you, and I'll see you on my website.
twitch chat