What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Valorant censorship
At least you have the fucking balls to say it.
Like in Valorant in the voice chat if you call someone a retard for being trash at the game and not using a mic, and he's a Russian player, you're "banned". Nevermind that the race of the player exists independently from how trash he is at the game. Obviously not all Russians have no mic, (correlation/causation), but this "all players are equal" political correctness bullshit is making it impossible for Valorant players to solve a problem they cannot discuss.
Valorant
My Kappa is broken
twitchquotes:
My Κappa is broken 
My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken
My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken
twitch chat
affirmative
twitchquotes:
👌affirmative 💓amen 💫fine 🙏good 🙌okay 😸true 😇yea 🎉all right⚡aye 🌟beyond a doubt 🔥by all means 🌈certainly ✨definitely 🆒❗even so 💯exactly 🔆gladly good enough❤ granted 💗indubitably 😆just so 💥most assuredly 😎naturally 💪of course 💝positively 😻precisely 🌹sure thing 💌surely 💐undoubtedly 💎unquestionably 🎊very well 🎶willingly 🎋without fail 🚩yep👈
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
HAFU TURN OFF THE VIBRATOR
twitch chat
Hafu
My boss recently discovered Among Us
Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.