[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Shill this half baked product to your loyal fanbase

twitchquotes: Kripp's covetous eyes glisten as the Marvel: Future Fight devs hand over a stack of cash. "Make sure you shill this half baked product to your loyal fanbase" they instruct. Kripp licks his salty lips and mutters an agreeable "k"
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

sellout

Mutant Seagull

April 2017

Kripp wins Best Actor

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. โ€œBoy,โ€ he says, โ€œwe got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!โ€ The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. โ€œWow!โ€ says Hanks. โ€œI donโ€™t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his โ€˜Unsponsoredโ€™ Hero Academy 2โ„ข Stream!โ€
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Self-proclaimed 138 IQ alpha male on r/Stellaris

Lol... what we have here, is called a "normie," per se. You see, the original meme, that you are referencing, mentions David, not Jason. It is quite a popular meme and the name is pretty hard to forget, so my down-vote is on you (double entendre hehe), buddy boy.
October 2021

iamverysmart

Twitch Chat and Team Rocket

twitchquotes: ั‚o proั‚ecั‚ ั‚ะฝe cะฝaั‚ า“roะผ devaั•ั‚aั‚ฮนon, ั‚o ฯ…nฮนั‚e ั•paะผะผerั• wฮนั‚ะฝฮนn oฯ…r naั‚ฮนon, ั‚o denoฯ…nce ั‚ะฝe evฮนlั• oา“ ะฒanั• and ะผodั•, ั‚o eั…ั‚end oฯ…r ั•paะผ ั‚o ั‚ะฝe ั•pace aะฒove. copy! paั•ั‚e! ั‚wฮนั‚cะฝ cะฝaั‚, ั•croll aั‚ ั‚ะฝe ั•peed oา“ lฮนgะฝั‚! Sฯ…rrender or prepare ั‚o า“ฮนgะฝั‚! ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ) ั‚ะฝaั‚'ั• rฮนgะฝั‚!
twitch chat
June 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing