[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Twitch chat isn’t that dumb

twitchquotes: Twitch chat isn’t that dumb. They don’t just copy paste anything. Believe it or not, most people in chat have functioning brains. Watch, no one in chat will repost this message.
twitch chat
April 2019

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: 𝔻𝕠 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 π•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•• π•Ÿπ• π•₯ π•€π•‘π•’π•žπ•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒π•₯ 𝕀𝕠 π•žπ•¦π•”π•™? 𝕀'π•ž 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝π•ͺ π•₯𝕣π•ͺπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•₯𝕠 𝕑𝕒π•ͺ 𝕒π•₯π•₯π•–π•Ÿπ•₯π•šπ• π•Ÿ π•₯𝕠 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕀π•₯π•£π•–π•’π•ž π•’π•Ÿπ•• π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕒𝕣𝕖 π••π•šπ•€π•₯𝕣𝕒𝕔π•₯π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•žπ•–. 𝕀𝕗 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝π•ͺ 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦π•₯ π•₯𝕙𝕖 π•’π•¦π•’π•π•šπ•₯π•ͺ 𝕠𝕗 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕀π•₯π•£π•–π•’π•ž 𝕠𝕣 π•„π• π• π•Ÿ π•™π•šπ•žπ•€π•–π•π•— π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕀π•₯𝕠𝕑 π•₯𝕙𝕖 π•€π•‘π•’π•žπ•žπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•’π•Ÿπ•• 𝕔𝕠𝕑π•ͺπ•šπ•Ÿπ•˜ π•’π•Ÿπ•• 𝕑𝕒𝕀π•₯π•šπ•Ÿπ•˜. 𝔾𝕠𝕕, 𝕀 𝕀𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣 π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 π•˜π•¦π•ͺ𝕀 𝕒𝕣𝕖 π•₯𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕀π•₯ 𝕑𝕒𝕣π•₯ 𝕠𝕗 π•₯π•¨π•šπ•₯𝕔𝕙. β„‚π• π•¦π•π••π•Ÿ'π•₯ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕀π•₯ π•₯𝕣π•ͺ π•₯𝕠 𝕓𝕖 π•žπ•’π•₯𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 π• π•Ÿπ•”π•– π•šπ•Ÿ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦𝕣 π•π•šπ•—π•–?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON

Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother, I am here to politely ask you all to stop making fun of my son. He has always had social problems and it really hurts his feelings when you guys make fun of him. I'm sure you will all be reasonable about this.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF

twitchquotes: PogChamp PogChamp HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR β„±π“ͺ𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ PogChamp PogChamp
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing