[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Could you help me find my dogs?

twitchquotes: Hey guys i lost one of my dogs :( Could you help me to find him? Please Type FrankerZ (Franker Z) Or RalpherZ (Ralpher Z) To find them! Thank you! The Twitch Chat is so intellectula! Kappa No Copypasterino Wufferino please!!!!!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

twitch emotes in non-twitch chats

twitchquotes: Is it just me, or do people who say twitch emotes out loud or type twitch emotes in non-twitch chats are super cringe worthy? The whole idea of saying twitch emotes out loud or typing them out rather than just doing the action that the emote describes is just dumb to me. Instead of saying/typing "Kappa", why not type "lol" or actually laugh like a normal person.
twitch chat
July 2019

WeebsOut

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣠⡇⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣴⣿⡇⢸⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⠧⠸⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠋⠉⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⣈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣆⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⡷⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡴⠖⢢⠠⣭⣭⣥⣚⠼⣀⡚⠴⢡⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣌⢻⡿⣫⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣧⡸⠄⠹⣿⢿⣿⣇⠿⠛⢣⣞⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠓⡀⣿⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⢹⡿⡋⡀⠄⢬⡹⣷⢀⣀⣸⡇⢘⣿⣿⡇⢻⠘⠄ ⣿⣿⡋⠴⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠉⠉⠹⠡⡟⣘⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡓⡘⡆⠄ ⠟⡟⠄⢀⡖⣨⢲⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣦⣭⣭⠭⣭⣭⡭⣭⣍⣭⡄⠄ ⢠⠇⠄⠈⠄⡥⠋⠄⠄⠙⠒⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⢃⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠄⠩⣽⡇⠄ ⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠓⢤⡀⠄⠄⣸⠁⠚⠛⠛⠳⣖⢄⠄⠛⡃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⣄⣴⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣆⣬⡅⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣤⣠⣶⡴⡖⠁⠘⢷⠄
June 2021

Weebs

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing