What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
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Tiffany's chandelier
twitchquotes:
I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
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This is the shittiest reply ever Modern Warfare version
twitchquotes:
This is the shittiest reply ever. Modern Warfare requires movement, camping, claymoring, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Modern Warfare. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
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Big boobs 2
Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you
twitchquotes:
Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest 
you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
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LeBlanc
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⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠨⡙⠿⣿⣶⣄⣿⣷⣿⠀⣮⠀⡀⢰⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠀⠀⢀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⣬⡻⢿⣿⣿⠃⣀⡼⠷⡽⣿⡟⠀⢀⡀⠀⢠⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⡇⣰⡿⢡⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⢻⣷⣕⢠⡿⠑⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢹⣿⢱⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⡠⠁⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠻⣿⢃⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⠙⠿⣗⡀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢻⡧⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢰⠃⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⢄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡑⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿
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⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀
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⡡⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠉⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠑⠲⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠈⠉⠈⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣶
⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⢆⣠⣴⣾⠿⠟⠛⢛⣿⣿
⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣶⡿⣫⠾⠛⠉⢁⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⠿