[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Because it's a cool cat

twitchquotes: CoolCat FORCED CoolCat TO CoolCat SPAM CoolCat THIS CoolCat EMOTE CoolCat BECAUSE CoolCat ITS CoolCat A CoolCat COOL CoolCat CAT CoolCat
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July 2015
Kripp

a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Now I am nolife

twitchquotes: โ–ฌโ–ฌฮนโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•๏บค As I สœแดสŸแด… แด›สœแด‡ sแด€แดแดœส€แด€ษช sแดกแดส€แด… แด›แด แดส sแด›แดแดแด€แด„สœ แด€s I แดกแด€s แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แด›แด แด„แดแดแดษชแด› sแดœแด…แดแด‹แดœ, I แดกแด€แด›แด„สœ Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แด˜สŸแด€ส Cแด€sแดœแด€สŸsแด›แดษดแด‡... I ส€แด‡แดแด‡แดส™แด‡ส€ แด€ แด›ษชแดแด‡ แดกสœแด‡ส€แด‡ Kส€ษชแด˜ แดกแด€s NแดสŸษชา“แด‡... ษดแดแดก I แด€แด NแดสŸษชา“แด‡...ษขแดแดแด… ส™สแด‡ แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ -โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•ฮนโ–ฌโ–ฌ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

RIOT RIOT RIOT

twitchquotes: แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค RIOT แ•ฆ(รฒ_รณห‡)แ•ค
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Pusheen the Cat

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„ โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆ โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
September 2021
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