What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hello Chat! I like attention
twitchquotes:
Hello Chat! My name is Attention Whore. I only speak in large paragraphs or spam in short messages all in caps. I will consistently spam profanity almost in an attempt to find the boundaries of what is a bannable offense. Please yell at me and give me all your attention. Thank you for understanding and don't copy and paste this 
twitch chat
Endgame spoilers
twitchquotes:
I just saw endgame, and it was pretty good, but there were a few weird things. I thought it was strange how the Russo Brothers decided to render Thanosā erect penis in such vivid detail. The veins were so perfectly done I couldnāt even tell his cock wasnāt real. Another thing I found weird was when Black Panther broke the fourth wall and gave the audience the n-word pass. I did appreciate it, but it would feel more in place in a Deadpool movie. Overall, it was still excellent, but I think that they definitely need to reconsider some things.
twitch chat
Is that your knee or you just excited to see me?
twitchquotes:
( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°) is that your knee or you just excited to see me? ( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°)
twitch chat
Kripp
Luigi's donger
twitchquotes:
In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigiās penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigiās bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigiās penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and Iām ļ»æincredibly destructive but I donāt care. Iām having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you canāt accept me youāre missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat