[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Program and Control Man

twitchquotes: We are all living in Pac-Man’s world. You know what Pac stands for? P.A.C Program and Control. He’s program and Control Man. The whole thing’s a metaphor. All he can do is consume. He’s pursued by demons that are probably just in his own mind.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

I love watching QT games

twitchquotes: I love watching QT games. It always shows me that no matter how far behind a team is, they can come back and stomp QT; truly inspiring.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

xqcK

⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⠀ ⠀⢴⣿⣿⢯⣤⠾⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⣾⢿⣛⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⣰⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⣴ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣤⡀⠀⣠⣶⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠀⣀⣾⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣤⡤⠞⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⡟⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⢿⣇⣀⣤⣀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠉⠉⢉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2020
xQcOW

Saving up salt for a trip to Greece to touch the Kripp

twitchquotes: I want to touch the kripp, I tell myself. I save up my salt for years to get a trip to greece. I ring the dong bell and out the comes the border kripp face, I smell the aroma of salt and prosterinos. In his hand is a ornate salt shaker and one of reynads 15 guitars. He shoots me in the face with a fireball saying "Assume they have fireball, cause they do have fireball" from that day foward Ive never washed my face again.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing