What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
Easter emoji pasta
HEY ALL U EASTER BUNNY๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ HOES!!! Today is ๐๐Easter!! You know what that means๐ค๐ค๐ค??? Itโs time to HOP over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK๐ซ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ u like a rabbit!! Gotta get those Easter day cummies!! After u and daddy FUCK ๐ซ๐ฆ then itโs time for โช๏ธchurchโช๏ธ!!! Get ready for that HOLY DICK๐๐๐๐ because jesus is CUMMING๐ฉ๐๐๐ฆ back from the dead today to FUCK THAT EASTER BUNNY PUSSY๐๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ฆ๐๐. Then itโs time for the egg hunt ๐ต๐ต๐ต!!! U better find an egg!! Search in every HOLE๐๐ฉ CRACK ๐ซ๐ and CREVICE ๐ค๐๐ for the GRAND PRIZE ๐ค๐ getting that ๐ต๐ธ๐บPASTEL PUSSY๐๐ฃ๐ฎ RODE ๐๐๐ into the Easter sunset! Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ HOES๐๐ซ๐๐ฆ. If u get 5๏ธโฃ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! If u get ๐ back ur a LOADED ๐๐
๐๐ป๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆ EASTER BASKET. If you get 2๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED ๐ฑ๐๐๐ฆ๐ฆIN UR RABBIT ๐ฐ๐๐ฐHOLE TONIGHT!!!!
Holiday Emoji
Easter
Holiday
I want to give you head
twitchquotes:
I want to give you head. Yes, head. Not the one you're thinking of. Not even in a sexual way. I want to give you heads up about the walk for charity. Yes, a walk for charity through which we can touch the lives of children living in extreme poverty.
twitch chat
Not your naked body
A rabbit is a symbol of time
twitchquotes:
A rabbit is a symbol of time, like the rabbit from Alice in wonderland carrying a stopwatch taking Alice to a different place (and time). Tides picked a rabbit to suit his name, as another world (other waves) combined with the stopwatch actually combines into his name. Or maybe he just thought the rabbit was cute. Also, rabbits eat their own shit.
twitch chat
TidesOfTime
