What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Anime girl 3
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Weebs
Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iβm a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iβm not sure what to say in interviews now if Iβm asked why I left this job. Any advice?
SautΓ© the Pepperoni
twitchquotes:
First you boil some pasta, preferably Fagottini ( Ν‘β ΝΚ Ν‘β)οΎ ~~~~~Then you sautΓ© the Pepperoni ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)ββ (o o o)
twitch chat
Kripp
My girlfriendβs dad is a banking exec (post on /r/cryptocurrency)
My girlfriendβs dad is a banking exec, I told him Iβm all in on crypto
He and I met yesterday. He is a kind and mild mannered guy who comes off as deeply intelligent. I asked him how he felt about decentralized finance and he said it was a risky venture (no surprise from his banking point of view) and anyone putting money into it is a fool.
He seemed disappointed that his daughterβs boyfriend wanted to talk about crypto. For me, crypto has fundamentally changed my life - it has taught me about finance, geopolitics, and that I have the agency to live a life I wasnβt sure was possible. So, when he seemed disappointed, what did I do? I doubled down. I gave an impassioned speech about why cryptocurrency is changing the world and democratizing resources that traditionally only the wealthy had access to. It is giving poor communities a fighting chance and that it is revolutionary and something that is a big part of my investment strategy.
I donβt know what the point of this post is, but I just, idk, he made me feel like a fool of an investor because he either just doesnβt get it or is scared of it and I feel like his view of me has become less favorable in terms of dating his daughter, but Iβm going to stand up for what I believe in.
Ramble over.
Cryptocurrency
Donald of the House Trump
twitchquotes:
In the name of Donald of the House Trump , First of his name, rightful President of the States. Lord of the 2 political parties, Protector of the Border. I 
sentence you to exile.
In the name of Donald of the House Trump , First of his name, rightful President of the States. Lord of the 2 political parties, Protector of the Border. I sentence you to exile.
twitch chat