[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

Taco did we come back?

twitchquotes: Taco: "Actually, I remember one time we were playing against Virtus Pro, Nuke, and it was 15-5 to VP. We were playing as T. VP are CT. And Fallen said, guys if you think we are good, let's prove it now." Teammate: "Did you come back?" Taco: "Of course not. 16-5."
twitch chat
November 2019

CSGO

forsenScoots

⠄⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠼⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣥⣤⣀⣀⣀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠛⠛⠛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣶⡆⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⢿⣆⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣄⠐⢾⣧⠄⣀⣤⠙⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣭⣙⣫⣭⣤⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣦⡀⠘ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠙⠛⢷⡈⢻⣷⠄ ⢀⣠⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠺⣇⠄⢀⣠⢻⡄⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⣾⣿⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠉⠉⠉⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠷⠦⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠄⣠⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠿⢷⣄⡹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⠄⢉⣿⡏⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣶⣦⣌⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠉⠁⢸⣿⣧⣄⡉⠛⠿⣬⣛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⢻⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠷⢦⡁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⡴⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⣶⠄⢻⣶⣿⣶⡆⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Chess is dead

Chess hasn't been updated in almost 200 years and it's obvious the devs have abandoned it. The greedy creators took your money and laughed all the way to the bank. I remember back in 705 AD when chess was fun. Then they started adding stupid features no one wanted like "Castling" and "En Passant" instead of listening to player feedback and fixing game-breaking bugs. I've been complaining for YEARS about the collision-detection glitch with the horsey. The "clipping-thru-pieces" bug has been abused to death and the lazy devs refuse to fix it. Don't support this awful behaviour and boycott this company.
February 2020

Chess

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

I can see you

⠄⠠⢀⠐⡀⢐⠐⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠐⠄⠂⠐⠈⠠⠑⠨⠢⡊⠔⡐⠄ ⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⠈⠨⠠⡁ ⠄⠈⠄⠄⡀⢂⠠⠐⢀⠂⠠⠈⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⠄⠂⡀⠄⠈⠐ ⠄⠄⠄⡂⡐⠠⡂⠅⡂⠌⡐⠈⠄⠨⢀⠂⡁⠌⠠⡁⡂⠅⠌⠄⢂⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⠢⢨⣶⡾⢷⣦⡅⡂⠅⡡⢁⠂⡂⡂⢅⢑⣴⣾⠾⣮⣌⢐⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⢊⢿⡏⠡⠂⢽⡗⢌⢂⠢⡁⠪⡐⠄⢕⢸⣿⠑⠡⢸⡿⢐⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠅⡢⡙⠿⣾⢼⠟⡕⡑⢔⠡⡊⢌⠢⡑⡑⡌⡻⢷⢷⠟⢍⠢⡁⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠌⡂⡪⡑⡆⣇⣣⣱⣸⣰⣱⣜⣬⣪⣬⣦⣣⣎⣖⣔⣕⢅⢕⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡑⣬⣺⡾⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣟⣿⣽⣿⣻⣿⣾⢿⣻⣿⣻⣯⣿⣲⢅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢪⢗⣯⡏⠙⣯⣿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣽⣾⣿⢷⣿⡿⣿⣻⠝⢓⡷⡯⡣⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠈⢝⢞⡿⣦⡀⠙⠯⢿⢷⣿⣽⢿⣾⢿⡯⡟⠏⢁⢤⡿⡝⡕⠁⠄⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠝⣗⣟⡷⣤⣀⣁⠈⠈⠉⠊⣁⡠⣤⢶⣻⢽⠱⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠸⠹⠽⡽⣽⣻⣻⣟⣟⣷⣻⢽⢫⠣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠣⢣⢓⢗⢳⢹⢸⠸⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄I CAN SEE YOU⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing