[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trump nuclear ramble

Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.
September 2021

Donald Trump

Kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp

twitchquotes: helo my name is dongerino pasterino ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ, i am 69 year old donger from imaqtmeatloaf's stream . 420 years ago i was kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp for 9001 years. 1 year ago, imaqtlasagne and imaqtpie invaded the camp and rescued me. now i work as teacherino, passing down the wisdom of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to young dongers.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat
July 2017

Padoru 2

PADORU PADORU ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠚⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠑⣌⡉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⡆⠀ ⠀⢀⠇⠀⢸⡭⡷⡶⢤⡤⣤⣀⣀⣀⢠⡤⢤⡶⣾⢡⠀⠀⢠⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⢳⣦⣷⣇⣱⠁⢧⠟⡜⣈⣆⣦⣧⣯⢾⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⡄⠰⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⢸⠇ ⣿⣇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠇⢀⣿⣦ ⢉⣿⣤⡄⣱⣄⡀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⡌⠀⣼⣿⠋ ⠈⠁⠠⢤⢗⡨⠽⠉⠐⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣌⣿⣿⣤⡼⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠅⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2018

Kripp's recent Pornhub purchases

twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp
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