[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

Kripp suffers from Casualitis

twitchquotes: Romanian doctor say in thick accent, "He suffer from Casualitis, too many salts in blood." OJ is injected into the Kripp, but he continues to mumble "Really bro," and "Wow," numerous times. A priest enters and rips a bag of pepperonis over the Kripp. Papparin say "Drink with me friends," and offer cappucino to all.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

EGGYAYA

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢻⡿⢋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⡎⣿ ⣿⢻⣿⡇⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠁⣾⣷⣶⣮⣭⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠙⣿⢸ ⣿⡌⢿⣿⡘⣷⣮⣍⡛⠿⣿⠋⣠⣦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣭⣙⠻⣿⡜⣌⠂ ⡟⣰⡘⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⢀⣭⡙⠓⠈⠛⠛⣋⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⡆⣥⣴⣅⡉⣰ ⢱⣿⣷⡜⢿⣆⢻⣿⠋⣠⡾⠋⡉⣀⢞⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠣⠄⣈⠹⣦⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣙ ⡿⠛⠋⣉⣉⡙⢱⣿⣾⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⡐⣿ ⢶⣾⢹⣄⡠⣸⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⢏ ⣧⢻⣷⣶⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣼⣿⠿⢟⣫⣥⠶⢊⡁⣼⣧⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⠠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠿⠟⣛⣥⡾⢟⣫⣴⣿⠟⢋⣠⣴⣿⢀⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⡇⠙ ⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⣋⣴⡿⠛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠫⠤⠚⢛⠛⣛⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣬⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⠄
November 2021
Mizkif

The focus of a champion

twitchquotes: Sometimes I think the stream froze, but nope. Its just Michael Santana staring into the monitor and mouth breathing while remaining perfectly still. The focus of a champion.
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

HOIST THY DONGERS

twitchquotes: ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ノ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
April 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing