[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Emoji move emoji review

twitchquotes: A πŸ‘Œ whole πŸ’¦ town πŸͺ of πŸ’¦ beings, πŸ‘€ confined to πŸ’¦ feeling 😜 one 😀 emotion their πŸ† entire πŸ‘ life. πŸ‘€ That 😐 could πŸ”’ honestly πŸ‘ be 🐝 the πŸ‘ focus of πŸ’¦ an πŸ‘Ή entire πŸ‘ movie, πŸŽ₯ but πŸ‘ in πŸ‘ the πŸ‘ emoji πŸ˜‚ movie πŸŽ₯ that's 😦 just πŸ‘ the πŸ‘ world 🌎 they πŸ‘₯ live πŸ™… in, πŸ‘ and πŸ‘ yet πŸ˜‡ these πŸ‘ˆ beings πŸ‘€ don't 🚫 question 😩 it πŸ’― and πŸ‘ carry πŸ”› on πŸ”› their πŸ† lives πŸ“΄ as πŸ‘ normal... 😐 the πŸ‘ emoji πŸ˜‚ movie πŸŽ₯ takes πŸ˜‰ a πŸ‘Œ far 🌌 more πŸ— subtle πŸ™ˆ approach 😜 meaning critics probably 😻 didn't 🚫 notice the πŸ‘ strong πŸ’ͺ existential themes present πŸ’² in πŸ‘ the πŸ‘ film upon πŸ‘¦ first πŸ‘† viewing.
twitch chat
July 2017

Emoji Pasta

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

TURN CHAT INTO WEEB MODE

twitchquotes: TehePelo TURN TehePelo CHAT TehePelo TO TehePelo WEEB TehePelo MODE TehePelo
twitch chat
April 2017

Weebs

G2, aka β€œGold 2”

twitchquotes: G2, aka β€œGold 2”, named after their players average skill level. They are currently the best team in EU and are best known for their inting midlaner, CRAPS, and their inability to defeat PVB, Vietnam’s worst team.
twitch chat
September 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!

twitchquotes: β•°[βœ–ΔΉΜ―ΰ² ]β•―Ahoy, matey! Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!β•°[βœ–ΔΉΜ―ΰ² ]β•―
twitch chat
March 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing