[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npiLJLEpPhE
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp and Trump

twitchquotes: AสŸสŸ Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แดกแด€ษดแด›แด‡แด… แด›แด แด…แด แดกแด€s แด‹แด‡แด‡แด˜ สœษชs สœแด‡แด›แด‡ส€แดsแด‡xแดœแด€สŸ ส€แด‡สŸแด€แด›ษชแดษดsสœษชแด˜ sแด‡แด„ส€แด‡แด›. Nแดแดก แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ ษขแดœสs แด‡xแด˜แดsแด‡แด… สœษชแด, สœแดแดก แด…แด สแดแดœ แด›สœษชษดแด‹ Tส€แดœแดแด˜ า“แด‡แด‡สŸs? I ส™แด‡แด› สœแด‡'s แด˜ส€แด‡แด›แด›ส แด…แด‡แด แด€sแด›แด€แด›แด‡แด… แด›สœแด€แด› สœแด‡ า“แดแดœษดแด… แดแดœแด› Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แดกแด‡ษดแด› ส™แด‡สœษชษดแด… สœษชs ส™แด€แด„แด‹ แด›สœษชs แดกแด€ส.Yแดแดœ sสœแดแดœสŸแด… แด€สŸสŸ ส™แด‡ แด€sสœแด€แดแด‡แด… แดา“ สแดแดœส€sแด‡สŸแด แด‡s.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Now that all the girls stop reading this...

twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

BionicBunion

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–“ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€
ascii art
November 2014
patashu

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Lenny face centipede

โ•šโ•( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• .โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• ..โ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆโ•šโ•(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ•โ• โ€ฆ..โ•š(โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ• โ€ฆโ€ฆโ•š(โ–ˆโ–ˆ)โ• โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ(โ–ˆ) โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.*
ascii art
December 2020
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