What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Red powder found on Summoner's Rift
twitchquotes:
Imaqtpie's games were delayed today after a red powder was found on the rift. After analysis, Rioters determined the red substance, unknown to Imaqtpie, was the remnants of an enemy nexus. Games resumed after Rioters decided Imaqtpie was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son
twitchquotes:
Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
DisguisedToast
Teamfight Tactics
My husband said I have "boy pussy."
My husband said I have "boy pussy."
I am a biological woman and a female. I haven't spoken to him since.
For context we were having sex, and at some point with his eyes closed he moaned "yeah that boy pussy..." and then stopped, realising he spoke out loud.
I'd feel better if he mentioned another woman because we're (somewhat) open but I'm pretty sure he's bisexual and instead of speaking to me about it, fantasizes about me being a twink.
I apologize, as my English is rather substandard
twitchquotes:
I apologize, as my English is rather substandard
At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down?
I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me.
"Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down."
"I disagree"
twitch chat
Kripp, this is the value-police
twitchquotes:
(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Kripp, this is the value-police. We are under the impression that you have 1 too many Priestesses of Elune in your deck, please fix this or come with us.(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
Kripp