What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
I used to be a real ad
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Jared wakes up in the middle of the night
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Jared wakes up in the middle of the night gasping for breath. The moon shines high in the starless sky its light upon Jared. It illuminates his, pale almost ghostly face, he is sweating yet he feels so cold. From his lips only one word is whispered "Diamond III" he shivers for this word is a mortal reminder of his haunting nightmare. He tries to calm himself reassuring it was all but a bad dream. He looks up, a surrender vote blinking in the dark, and in the background qtpies maniacal laugh
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Boosted Animal Jared
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Padoru
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⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⡠⢲⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠔⣈⣀⠄⢔⡒⠳⡴⠊⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄
⠄⢜⡴⢑⠖⠊⢐⣤⠞⣩⡇⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠝⠛⠋⠐
⢸⠏⣷⠈⠄⣱⠃⠄⢠⠃⠐⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠈⣅⠞⢁⣿⢸⠘⡄⡆⠄⠄⠈⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⡀⠄⠡⢀⠄⣀
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⠄⠄⠑⢿⠈⢆⠘⢼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⢐⢾⠄⡘⡏⠲⠆⠠⣤⢤⢤⡤⠄⣖⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣴⣶⣿⣿⣣⣈⣢⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄⡾⣷⣾⣮⣤⡏⠁⠘⠊⢠⣷⣾⡛⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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⠠⠤⠤⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⣤⣀⣀⣀⡘⣿⠿⠙⠻⡍⢀⡈⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠉⠄⠻⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
without throwing your cat across the room
twitchquotes:
Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
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Ban one bee, get the swarm
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ban one bee and you'll get the swarm
ban one bee and you'll get the swarm
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MODS
Ban X Get The Whole Y
I am a sub with cash
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Hey you poor, underage trash. 🗑️ You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am a sub. Means I am a VIP. Means I got cash. 💵 What you got? You got shit. 💩 You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. 💯 We subbed because we have cash. 💵 Real life jobs, real life credit cards.
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