What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... Iโve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
WallStreetBets
Police clearing out a homeless encampment
On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and havenโt been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
WallStreetBets
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐๐๐
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeโs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out ๐๐๐
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโs boyfriend.
WallStreetBets
Classic
On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch
On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch when suddenly he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. Moments later, Ster (who was hiding behind the curtains) snuck up behind Jerma, and after a short struggle, Ster stole Jerma's hat, saying "I'm you now." Jerma died. At that point the camera footage was frozen, but it later returned to Ster pretending to be Jerma.
Jerma985
Overwatch
NOT EVERYONE CAN WEAR HAT
twitchquotes:
NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT 
NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT
twitch chat