[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

Ninja Assassins is not fun or interactive

twitchquotes: Ninja Assassins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one crit without requiring any battles on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Teamfight Tactics more fun and compelling, but taking 20000+ damage in one Zed crit is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

A donger with a monocle

twitchquotes: (β•­ΰ²°_βŠ™) what, never seen a donger with a monocle? (β•­ΰ²°_βŠ™)
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK

twitchquotes: β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜ β™ž β™˜
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ Ν  Ν Β°γ€œ ΝœΚ–γ€œ Ν  Ν Β° ΰΌ½οΎ‰Β€=[β€”β€”β€”β€” Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya. You killed my Kappa. Prepare to die.
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing