[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf. We're sorry to say we have to terminate your sponsor contract due to the fact that you consistently keep losing, even though you're using decks drafted through the HearthArena app. You are simply bringing us too much unneeded bad reputation, so we figure we'd just channel the funds we spend on you on a better player like Amaz. Sorry for this, and good luck in the future.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripparrian... this Bro Fist is for you

twitchquotes: As he raises his "Bro Fist" gently against his cam, I raise my donger against my cam. I feel how for that moment, Kripparrian and I become one. My donger starts to shake, and I close my eyes, letting out a small moan as our "Bro Fists" e-touches. "Kripparrian.. this Bro Fist is for you" I whisper to myself. Kreygasm
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Where can I find the NA skins

twitchquotes: 4Head Hey Chat! 4Head I noticed most teams 4Head have skins for their region 4Head SKT for Korea 4Head FNC for Europe 4Head And apparently IG 4Head will be getting some for China 4Head Where can I find 4Head the NA skins 4Head
twitch chat
March 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

BOGGED

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣶⣾⣾⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢠⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⣭⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣴⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢹⣷⣤⣦⣤⣴⣴⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠂⠈⠙⠛⣿⣿⢟⣽⠿⠿⠌⠙⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⡋⠁⠄⣾⢠⣶⣧⠘⣿⢿⣷⢄⡀⣠⣴⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡶⠶⡛⡋⢉⣿⣧⠄⠈⠛⠋⠑⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠸⠃⠄⣼⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠐⠒⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡟⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠅⠄⠄⠄⢰⡿⠿⠿⠛⢢⠄⣶⣶⣴⣶⡶⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⡟⠄⠈⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⠄⠉⠁⠁⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈
January 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing