[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kirby

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣶⣀⣀⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⣔⠮⠍⠛⠒⠒⠒⠚⠠⠽⣉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡂⠕⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠢⢀⡹⠛⠋⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⣀⣠⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠑⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⢆⠀⠀⢸⣀⣸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠸⣄⣸⡆⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⠀⣠⣴⣶⣶⡄⠀⢀⣤⣾⣇⣀⣀⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠻⡿⠀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣷⢀⣀⠀⠻⠿⢀⣴⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣤⠛⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢦⣄⣀⡀⠤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣷⣶⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠉⠛⠛⠿⠋⠁
December 2019

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽
twitch chat
May 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

0-10 IN GROUPS, FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05

twitchquotes: KEKW 0-10 IN GROUPS KEKW FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05 LOSS TO EU KEKW NEVER WON WORLDS KEKW NEVER WON MSI KEKW IRRELEVANT SINCE S1 KEKW OBSESSED WITH EU KEKW 0 TEAMS OUT OF GROUPS KEKW TSM XD KEKW NA OMEGALUL Clap
twitch chat
April 2020
LCS

League of Legends

EU vs NA

TSM, also known as "Throw Some More"

TSM, also known as "Throw Some More" is a North American cyber sports organization internationally recognized for their ability to lose any game from a winning position
April 2021

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing