[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npiLJLEpPhE
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Stabbed with Kniferino made out of an OJ Carton

twitchquotes: Oแด„แด›แด€แด ษชแด€ษด Mแดส€แดsแด€ษด, แดแด›สœแด‡ส€แดกษชsแด‡ แด‹ษดแดแดกษด แด€s Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, สœแด€s แด˜แด€ssแด‡แด… แด€แดกแด€ส แด›สœษชs แด›แดœแด‡sแด…แด€ส's แด€า“แด›แด‡ส€ษดแดแดษด. Hแด‡ แดกแด€s แด€แดส™แดœsสœแด‡แด… ส™ส แด€ ษขส€แดแดœแด˜ แดา“ แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€s ษชษด แด€ษด แด€สŸสŸแด‡ส, แด€ษดแด… sแด›แด€ส™ส™แด‡แด… แดกษชแด›สœ แด€ แด‹ษดษชา“แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แดแด€แด…แด‡ แดแดœแด› แดา“ แด€ษด OJ แด„แด€ส€แด›แดษด. RIP ษชษด แด˜แด‡แด˜แด˜แด‡ส€แดษดษช แด„แด€แด˜แด˜แดœแด„แด„ษชษดแด แด˜ษชsแด›แด€แด„สœษชแด, สแดแดœ sสœแด€สŸสŸ ส™แด‡ แดษชssแด‡แด….
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma

FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... Iโ€™ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Nyan Cat

________โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„______ _______โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ_____ _______โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„_ __โ–„โ–„___โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ_ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„_ _โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ_ _____โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ ______โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–€_ ____โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€___ ____โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€_โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€_______โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€_โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ_____
ascii art
November 2014

EXTRA THICC

twitchquotes: ไน‡ไน‚ใ„’ๅฐบๅ‚ ใ„’ๅ„ไธจๅŒšๅŒš
twitch chat
June 2017

Hunter's mark face

twitchquotes: Wtf are you doing, just hunter's mark face and kill him?! FailFish
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing