[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npiLJLEpPhE
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Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku

twitchquotes: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
twitch chat
June 2017

Kripp. It's Morpheus from future talking to you

twitchquotes: Hello ĸrιpp, ιт’ѕ мorpнeυѕ ғroм ғυтυre тalĸιng тo yoυ. ι нave 2 cнoιceѕ ғor yoυ, вlυe pιll or red pιll. вlυe pιll вrιngѕ yoυ lιғe, woмen, cнιleттe, dog, caт, cнιld, caѕυalιтy and no vιewerѕ. red pιll вrιngѕ yoυ nolιғe, oj, no dιѕтracтιonѕ ғroм oυтѕιde world, pro ѕтaтυѕ and vιewerѕ. cнooѕe wιѕely мιѕтer ĸrιpperѕon.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Jared thought he was back with the crew

twitchquotes: Jared, jumping for joy at the site of an easy victory with QT thought he was back with the crew. Little did he know QT was devising a cunning plan to demote Jared back to Diamond 3. Boom, like a shot in the dark, an instant 4 man surrender stole the wind right out of Jared. Jared glanced over to his 9mm, knowing one day he will have his chance to right these wrongs.
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Imagine the profit!

twitchquotes: soon kripp. you will have enough subs to turn it into sub mode. you will cause a rage so fierce from the common plebs that they will only turn to subbing to not lose their spam rights. you will become the richest streamer on here based off the rage of others. imagine the profit!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

AITA for punching my own son and husband in the face for being NFTphobic?

So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners). So, Reddit. AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

NFTs

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