[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
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Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v3

Itโ€™s the end of May the Fourth 4๏ธโƒฃ ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ˜ซ but that means the beginning of ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒตCincHOE de Mayo ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒต get ready to get your TACO eaten ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒฎ and gulp Papi's BURRITO ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐ŸŒฏ๐Ÿ’ฆ send this to 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ of your main ๐Ÿ’…๐ŸพPUTAS ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿพwho need to be stuffed by a CHORIZO ๐ŸŒญ๐Ÿ’ฆ if you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back you're a border hopping ๐Ÿ’๐ŸฝCHOLA ๐Ÿ’๐ŸฝIf you get 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back you're a ๐Ÿ’š Green card HOE๐Ÿ’š If you get 1๏ธโƒฃ5๏ธโƒฃ back you're the๐Ÿ’ƒ๐ŸฝTelenovela main BITCH ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back you're getting deported by Trump! ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿšง๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Have a happy CincHOE de Mayo and don't let la Migra get you!!
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Red crew mate

๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฆ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Žโ€Ž โ€Ž๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž โ€Ž ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ๐ŸŸฅ
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp Jr

twitchquotes: The year is 2020 Kripp is playing Hearthstone with his son Kripp Jr. "Looks like you lose Daddy hehe, but I still love you!", he says topdeckingly... "Oh my *** god dude thats *** unreal, how can I lose to people this bad", Kripp spits coldly with hate in his eyes. Kripp Jr. begins to cry....
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze

twitchquotes: I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this..
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Cyberpunk character creator is broken

This game is so buggy that even the character creator is broken I heard that the game had some bugs but I wasnโ€™t expecting them to hurt my experience so quickly. I was making my character and I got to the genitals option and gave my character a penis. I scrolled through the size option and noticed a game breaking bug. The labels are wrong for the penises. I gave my character what was labeled as โ€œsmall penisโ€ and was surprised to find that it was way bigger than my real penis. This is a serious game breaking bug and CD Project Red needs to make fixing this issue itโ€™s number one priority.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing