[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Only way I can feel safe

twitchquotes: When I'm ready to go to sleep I grab my laptop and get in bed. I open my laptop, go to Kripps youtube, turn the brightness all the way up and watch the video with the laptop screen close to my eyes. When the video is done I close my eyes and can still see Kripps face while I go to sleep. It's the only way I can feel safe.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

Frog of Ice

twitchquotes: And then from the clouds of cyber space, a chill wind blew upon a mere Paster pleb, it was the frog of ice, and he unveiled upon him the revelations. the revelations foretold of a new patch, a savior. a messiah, the rise of a new hero and the downfall of others. The mere pleb's feet nearly collapsed under him as he was thunderstruck by the knowledge and he ran with what ever breath was within him to spread the good news.
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

I've always wanted to be an octopusserino

twitchquotes: ive always wanted to be an octopusserino but everytime i try to tell someone they make fun of me. well ive had it up to here. today is the day i put my tentacles down. im sick and tired of people telling me what i can and cant be. i will be getting surgery to split my legs like pasterinos so i can have tentacles if you copy and pasterino my story to mock me i swear i will ink all over your face!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

With this chant I summon spam to the chat!

twitchquotes: ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・゚Clickity Clack, Clickity Clack, with this chant I summon spam to the chat! ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆・゚
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

And you’ve been, GNOMED

twitchquotes: Ho ho ho ha ha 😂🤣😂, ho ho ho he ha🤣🤣. Hello there😃👋, old chum👴👵. I’m 🙅‍♀️ g'not 🙅‍♀️a g'nelf🧝👎. I’m 🙅‍♀️g'not🙅‍♀️ a g'noblin👺👎👺. I’m a g'nome🎅😁!! And you’ve been, GNOOOMED🎅🤣😂😂🤣🤣!!!
twitch chat
September 2018

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing