[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npiLJLEpPhE
I used to be a real ad
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I'm Tanner Jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend and does things to your wife in bed everyday. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Patrick Star - I am back

──────────────────────── ─────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀───── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€I─── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β”€β–€β”€β–’β”€β–€β”€β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€AM── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€BACK ────▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▀▀▄─── ──▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─ β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€ ─▀▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▀─ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────▀▀─────────▀▀─────
ascii art
August 2015
Kripp

Ok that’s enough, sell your items

twitchquotes: πŸ“ž 4Head Hello Rookie πŸ“ž 4Head KT here πŸ“ž 4Head Ok that’s enough, sell your items πŸ“ž 4Head
twitch chat
October 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

The ultimate tool to win any argument you're in, works even if you're losing

That's a nice argument you have, but unfortunately, I had sexual intercourse with your mother, therefore rendering any point you make null.
May 2021

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020
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