[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Pasta definition

twitchquotes: Pasta (Italian pronunciation: [ˈpasta]) is a staple food[1] of traditional Italian cuisine, with the first reference dating to 1154 in Sicily.[2] It is also commonly used to refer to the variety of pasta dishes. Typically, pasta is a noodle made from an unleavened dough of a durum wheat flour mixed with water or eggs and formed into sheets or various shapes, then cooked by boiling or baking.
twitch chat
December 2016

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Among Us teaches us to punish minorities

Among Us (coloquially termed "amogus") teaches us to punish the minority and hate those who are different and unique as "impostors." Instead, I like the breath of fresh air this problem provides as a new perspective on deduction that is not "red is sus, red vented, etc." that has been dominating the jokes of my peers and the view of my feed. Yet, by trying to force this problem to conform to "amogus," you yourself are trying to crush originality and uniqueness. Among Us is a game ultimately convincing us to conform to menial labor as "tasks" and accept the deal of being just like the rest of the crewmates.
October 2021

Among Us / Amogus

For a little donger, I pack a big punch!

twitchquotes: ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ For a little donger, I pack a big punch! ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ!!!
twitch chat
March 2015
Trump

Frustrated anime girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⢿⣢⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣯⣟⣿⢿⡇⢃⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡄ ⠄⢿⣿⣯⣏⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣾⢿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷ ⠄⣈⣽⢾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⣯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣫⢸⣿⢿⣿⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⢸⣟⢸⣿⠸⣷⣝⢻⠘⣿⣿⢸⢿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⡆⢿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿ ⡇⣿⡿⣿⣿⢟⠛⠛⠿⡢⢻⣿⣾⣞⣿⡏⠖⢸⣿⢣⣷⡸⣇⣿⣿⣿⢼⡿⣿⣿ ⣡⢿⡷⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣶⣮⣄⣿⣏⣸⣻⣃⠭⠄⠛⠙⠛⠳⠋⣿⣿⣇⠙⣿⢸⣿ ⠫⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣹⢷⣿⡼⠋ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢻⢹⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢸⣿⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡃⣽⣿⣿⡟⠁⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⢿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⡄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⣿⣿⣾⣿⡟⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡇⠸⣆⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣇⣿⣿⢿⣿⠄⠄
June 2019

Weebs

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