[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?

twitchquotes: Wow guys, enabling bttv gif emotes was by far the worst decision of my life. Is spamming chat with these annoying gachiBASS emotes really the only thing that kids these days do? Am I just out of touch, or is this what chat has devolved to these days? What ever happened to innovative and original copy pastas?
twitch chat
January 2018

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Think, Mark! Think! (Invincible show meme script)

WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTING SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYONE AROUND YOU DIE! THINK, MARK! YOULL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE INSIGNIFICANT BEING ON THIS PLANET! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE THIS PLANET CRUMBLE TO DUST AND BLOW AWAY! EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BE GONE. WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER 500 YEARS?!
June 2021

Cyberpunk 2077 Keanu Reeves

⡿⡿⣻⢿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠍⠊⠌⠌⠌⠂⠊⠄⠂⠙⠿⠻⡻⠻⢛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢿⢿⢿⣻ ⣗⡽⡮⡷⣽⣺⣽⣿⣾⠟⠈⠄⠄⡀⢁⠂⢘⠈⡈⡠⠁⠄⢀⠘⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠳⠻⣯⣿⣽⣞⣵⡳ ⣗⢯⢫⢯⣷⡿⣽⠏⡁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢄⠅⠐⡂⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠐⡑⠄⠌⡄⠅⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⣳⢯ ⣿⡴⣤⠅⢓⢹⢜⠁⡀⠄⠄⡡⠈⠂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠠⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣟ ⠿⢿⠻⢝⣿⡿⢢⢁⢀⢑⠌⠄⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣴⣴⣬⣄⣀⠂⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⣸⣾⣛⢈⠄⢸⠐⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⡀⣜⣞⣾⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⢴⢼⣐⢬⠠⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⠋⣀⣵⣿⣽⡇⢃⢘⠜⠅⠈⠄⠄⢀⢔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⢾⢿⣳⢷⢿⡯⣷⣿⡌⠄⠄⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿ ⠄⣿⣿⡟⣾⠇⢠⠧⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⣰⣿⣿⣯⡏⣯⢿⢽⡹⣏⢿⡺⡱⢑⠽⡹⡺⣜⢄⠅⠄⠈⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣾⣻⢳⣝⡯⢡⢹⣇⠄⠐⠄⠄⢠⣺⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⢽⡵⣽⡺⣝⢎⢎⢶⢕⢌⢭⢣⢑⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⠧⢃⡳⠉⡈⢮⠃⠄⠄⠇⠄⣔⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣯⣯⢿⢼⡪⡎⡯⡝⢵⣓⢱⢱⡱⡪⡂⠄⠐⠄⠂⠄⠰⣿ ⡿⢡⢪⠄⢰⠨⣿⠁⢈⣸⠄⠄⢿⢿⣻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣮⢮⣯⣾⡵⣪⡪⡱⣹⣪⡂⠄⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣈⡖⡅⠄⢪⢴⢊⠁⢐⢸⠄⠄⡨⡢⡈⠈⠉⠻⢟⣷⡿⣟⢗⣽⡷⣿⢯⣞⣕⣧⣷⡳⠅⠄⠅⢐⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡣⡟⠜⠸⡁⣷⠁⠄⢅⢸⡀⠄⠄⠈⡀⠥⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠐⣷⡳⠙⠕⠩⠘⠁⠃⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⢆⠄⠄⠄⣸ ⣻⠍⠄⢣⣣⠏⠠⠐⠌⣪⠃⡐⢔⢌⡛⡎⡢⠄⢀⢄⢠⣳⣿⡎⠄⠄⢀⠤⠄⡈⠌⠊⠄⢀⠘⠨⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⠑⠠⢂⢮⡳⠠⠂⠁⡅⡯⠐⢨⡺⡌⡯⡪⣞⣼⣵⡧⣟⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠐⡢⣒⢆⢐⢠⠁⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢻ ⢅⢢⠫⡫⠙⠨⠄⣃⢎⡗⢈⠰⠸⡸⡸⣝⣿⣿⡗⡽⣽⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⣔⢽⣼⣗⣷⢱⠁⠄⠅⠁⠐⠄⠄⢾ ⡵⣰⠏⡐⠱⡑⢨⡬⢻⡕⠐⠈⡪⡣⡳⡱⡳⠱⢍⣳⢳⣿⣿⣿⠄⢐⢵⢻⣳⣟⢎⠪⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡷⠁⡀⠄⠨⢂⣸⢉⠆⢑⠌⢠⢣⢏⢜⠜⡀⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠠⠄⠨⡗⡧⡳⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢖⠠⠄⢰⠁⢴⣃⠞⠄⠕⣈⣺⣵⡫⡢⣕⣷⣷⡀⠄⡈⢟⠝⠈⢉⡢⡕⡭⣇⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⢻⡐⢔⢠⠪⡌⢌⠆⠐⢐⢨⣾⣷⡙⠌⠊⠕⠁⠄⠊⡀⠄⠠⠄⠡⠁⠓⡝⡜⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡀⠄⣿ ⠘⢨⢪⠼⠘⠅⠄⠂⠄⡀⢻⣿⣇⠃⠑⠄⠒⠁⢂⠑⡔⠄⠌⡐⠄⠂⠠⢰⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣡⢱⣶⣿ ⢢⢂⠫⡪⣊⠄⠣⡂⠂⡀⠨⠹⡐⣜⡾⡯⡯⢷⢶⢶⠶⣖⢦⢢⢪⠢⡂⡇⠅⠄⠄⠈⠄⢰⠡⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠄⠧⣟⡎⢆⡃⡊⠔⢀⠄⠈⣮⢟⡽⣿⣝⡆⠅⠐⡁⠐⠔⣀⢣⢑⠐⠁⡐⠈⡀⢐⠁⠄⠈⠃⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⢑⠁⢮⣾⡎⢰⢐⠈⢌⢂⠐⡀⠂⡝⡽⣟⣿⣽⡪⢢⠂⡨⢪⠸⠨⢀⠂⡁⢀⠂⠄⢂⢊⠖⢄⠄⢀⢨⠉⠛ ⡰⢺⣾⡗⠄⡜⢔⠡⢊⠢⢅⢀⠑⠨⡪⠩⠣⠃⠜⡈⡐⡈⡊⡈⡐⢄⠣⢀⠂⡂⡁⢂⠄⢱⢨⠝⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
February 2021

Do not call your significant other honey

Do 👏 not 👏 call 👏 your 👏 significant 👏 other 👏 honey 👏 unless 👏 you 👏 are 👏 a 👏 bee 👏 you 👏 are 👏 appropriating 👏 bee 👏 culture, 👏 this 👏 cannot 👏 bee 👏 accepted 👏
October 2021
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