[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

Easter emoji pasta

HEY ALL U EASTER BUNNY๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ HOES!!! Today is ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰Easter!! You know what that means๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”??? Itโ€™s time to HOP over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ u like a rabbit!! Gotta get those Easter day cummies!! After u and daddy FUCK ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ’ฆ then itโ€™s time for โ›ช๏ธchurchโ›ช๏ธ!!! Get ready for that HOLY DICK๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ because jesus is CUMMING๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ back from the dead today to FUCK THAT EASTER BUNNY PUSSY๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰. Then itโ€™s time for the egg hunt ๐Ÿ•ต๐Ÿ•ต๐Ÿ•ต!!! U better find an egg!! Search in every HOLE๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜ฉ CRACK ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ and CREVICE ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜ for the GRAND PRIZE ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿ˜‡ getting that ๐Ÿต๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒบPASTEL PUSSY๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฃ๐ŸŒฎ RODE ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ‡ into the Easter sunset! Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ HOES๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ. If u get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! If u get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back ur a LOADED ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ EASTER BASKET. If you get 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆIN UR RABBIT ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ‡๐ŸฐHOLE TONIGHT!!!!
April 2022

Holiday Emoji

Easter

Holiday

Fruit towers

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฌ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ‡ ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒท ๐Ÿท ๐ŸŽ ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ‘
twitch chat
August 2018

Kripp's Sellout Castle

twitchquotes: It is the year 2016, the Paparrian waits patiently outside Kripp's Sellout Castle. The butler, Trump, opens the door and bows, "His Grace will see you now." Trump brings the Papa into Kripp's throne room, where he sits on a jeweled throne with the Succubus. "Kripp, my son," begins the Papa, but Trump interrupts, "You must pay to speak."
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

sellout

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing