[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
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February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you. It’s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Stalin

⡿⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠞⠛⠁⠄⡼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⣦⠐⠠⡥⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡔⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢰⢏⣤⣦⣤⣍⣉⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⣤⣤⣤⣈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⣯⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⣉⣀⣠⠅⠄⣽⣿⣿⣇⠈⢈⣉⣩⣐⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⢿⢱⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠾⣿⣿ ⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣧⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣽⣋⠽⢭⣽⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⣭⣽⠁⢣⢿⣯⡉⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠈⠋⠈⠄⡈⠁⠒⠌⠊⣃⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣤⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣿⣭⣤⣬⡁⢉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

PepeLaughYou

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⣿⣯⣼⣿⡿⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣿⢿⡫⢞⣫⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣭⡲⣝⣟⡥⣚⣭⣥⣶⣶⣬⣭⣟⡳⣼⣻⣧⡀ ⠄⣿⠛⣮⠗⠉⠁⠐⠶⠄⠰⠶⠭⢉⣿⣿⣃⠉⠵⠶⠄⠰⠖⠂⠉⠓⢮⣟⠻⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣁⣰⣿⡭⠵⠶⠟⣛⣉⠴⠿⣣⣇⡿⠶⣍⣑⠻⠷⠾⢭⣤⣷⣈⣹⣿⡇ ⠄⠻⣿⣟⣻⢯⣍⣛⣛⣿⢭⣐⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣗⣨⢿⣛⣛⣛⣭⡿⣟⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⣀⣍⡛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣬⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣭⣶⣿⣦⠄ ⠄⣿⡈⠿⠟⠁⣀⣤⣄⣀⣐⡲⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⠉⣿⢻⣿⣿⠄ ⢀⣈⣤⣾⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⡭⠭⠤⡘⠸⢸⠃⣿⡇⣿⡇⡿⢇⠜⣠⢧⠞⣽⣿⠄ ⣾⡿⢹⣿⡿⠉⣿⣿⡟⡜⣢⣭⡒⢉⢠⢸⡄⣭⡅⠗⣢⠖⣡⡞⣥⣾⣾⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⡇⣴⣿⣿⣇⢶⣿⡷⠚⣬⣬⣬⣷⣶⡾⢛⣽⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⢟⡇⠿⠿⠇⣛⣭⣭⣍⢰⢆⣺⢨⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠛⠈⠿⠿⣙⣭⣥⣤⣤⣴⣾⡇⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄
June 2021

Pepe

I woke up aroused

twitchquotes: Just because... I had a dream of being pounded in the ass, and I was aroused when I woke up, doesn't make me gay. It was fuckin' hot, ok? A big ass 6 foot 5 WEREWOLF lookin' guy with huge muscles bear-hugged me, HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH, and I was just, face against the glass OOO smack OOO smack UUHH smack OOO smack OOK smack OOO, and I woke up aroused. That doesn't make me gay. I don't think it's GAY to wake up aroused. I-I think that it was just hot. It was fucking hot
twitch chat
June 2019

KappaPride

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