[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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We wub you Reynoodle. Give chat a kissy kiss.

twitchquotes: (づ ￣ ³￣)づ We wub you Reynoodle. Give chat a kissy kiss. (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

Brofist

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Kripp, here's a "brofist" for you. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021

Troll face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠤⠒⢂⣉⣉⣉⣑⣒⣒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠐⠒⠚⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⣀⠔⠒⠉⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠈⠉⠑⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⠠⠖⠡⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠥⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠰⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⠈⠐⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣾⣯⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠠⠤⢄⣀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠡⠐⠈⣉⠭⠤⠤⢄⡀⠈⠀⠈⠁⠉⠁⡠⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⠿⠛⠛⠓⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡉⢢⠙⣿ ⣿⠀⢀⠁⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠂⠀⠒⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠔⠒⠒⠂⠀⠈⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠋⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⡀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⡦⢄⣀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠁⢸⠀⠀⠠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⢾⡆⠀⠈⡀⠎⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⡈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠈⠉⠒⠢⡤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠦⠤⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠁⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠈⠹⡧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⢱⠒⠒⠒⠒⢖⠒⠒⠂⠙⠏⠀⠘⡀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠰⠀⠀⠁⠐⠲⣤⣴⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⣠⣷⣶⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡙⠋⠙⠓⠲⢤⣤⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣦⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⢄⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠻⠋⠉⠛⢛⠉⠉⢹⠁⢀⢇⠎⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠈⠢⢄⡉⠂⠄⡀⠀⠈⠒⠢⠄⠀⢀⣀⣀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⣎⠀⠼⠊⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠉⠢⢄⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠈⠑⠒⠤⠄⣀⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠤⠂⠁⠀⢀⠆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠁⠉⠒⠂⠤⠤⣀⣀⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢀⣀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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February 2021
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