[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Mutant Seagull

ascii art
April 2017

Service dog approaches you

twitchquotes: If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help. Follow the dog and you'll get a free purse or wallet.
twitch chat
April 2019

Twitch Should Ban The Term β€œLive-Streaming”

twitchquotes: Twitch Should Ban The Term β€œLive-Streaming”. It’s offensive to dead people. My great grandparents are dead and I would like to show them some respect and have twitch ban the term β€œlive-streaming”. It’s a slur used against dead people
twitch chat
December 2020

Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy

Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest: Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dickπŸ† is like 1 cmπŸ₯œ) Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl 😳😌😰, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possibleπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘‹πŸ€›) Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanctionπŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦) Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the KamasutraπŸ’ƒπŸ•Ίβ™‹πŸ‡πŸ•) Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! β›½β˜’οΈπŸ‘πŸŽ†) What u guys think?
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Story of Felipe

twitchquotes: Let me tell you about Felipe. Felipe is good boy from Guadalajara. He wake at 6:00 to make food for white man. He eat his chipotle like a good boy, and clean the taco like a good boy. When he finish burrito he play stonehearth, but Felipe is sad. Felipe say he no win because of Kripp, and Felipe want retribution. Beware your taco kripp, it may have jalapeno poison...
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing