[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Day 2 without sports

twitchquotes: Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she’s my wife. She seems nice. Apparently we also have 2 kids.
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Putin v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣦⣤⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣼⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡄⠄⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠺⢰⣦⡄⠀⠠⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢸⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣯⡀⠀⠠⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢺⠇⠀⣬⣶⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠀⠀⠈⢻⠋⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠸⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣈⣽⣿⣶⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠘⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠐⠙⠛⠛⣩⣵⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣶⣄⣤⣤⣐⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠈⢹⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠈⢹⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
March 2022

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

I hope Yuumi wins

twitchquotes: I hope Yuumi wins. I am a Yuumi main. I love cats, and my parents tell me I'm a parasite, so we have a lot in common. Yuumi might not be able to flash, but it lights up my life and heart. Go Yuumi!!!!!!
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

Kripp is a casual vegan

twitchquotes: Coke is not vegan. Vegans and vegetarians should note that a our drinks contain small traces of fish gelatine, which is used as a stabiliser for the beta-carotene colour. Not only is Kripp a casual gamer, he is a casual vegan as well!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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