[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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MrDestructoid ERROR public static void

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Anyone who thinks mobile games can't be amazing has never played Art of Conquest! My friends are all having a blast already, and I'll be joining them right away! I'll also be subscribing to Kripp's channel to stay up to date! MrDestructoid ERROR public static void WaitTime(NULL)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–€โ– โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–€โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

I am the BM in the lethal, the salt in the defeat

twitchquotes: The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

LS aka "Low Stamina"

twitchquotes: LS aka "Low Stamina" is a low energy depressed white american boy who cheated on a video game called starcrafting to impress his abusive mom. now he lives off korean welfare in his little world called twatch television
twitch chat
July 2019
imls

Vandelar from the castle jousting team

twitchquotes: Hail Kripp, 'tis I, Vandelar from the castle jousting team. How does life treat you today? I notice you continue to fool around with children's playing cards, some things never change! Art thou still playing the wizard of warcraft children's game? I never had time for such pursuits, for I found myself occupied with defending my honor, and laying with beautiful wenches. Alas, it was nice to see thou again, write me and we shall visit the tavern Kreygasm
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp
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