[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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All Star by Ben Shapiro

Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead. This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didn’t make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as there’s so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that you’ll never know if you don’t go, nor you will shine if you don’t glow. For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, you’re an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Welcome to the $5 strip club

twitchquotes: So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what .happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

GIFF 2GD

twitchquotes: ぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀ GIFF 2GD ぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀ GIFF 2GD ぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀ GIFF 2GD ぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀ GIFF 2GD ぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀ GIFF 2GD ぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀ GIFF 2GD ぀ β—•_β—• ༽぀
twitch chat
February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

krippO

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–‘β–“β–“ β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“ β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘ β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–“β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
August 2016
Kripp

Vaporeon but uwu

April 2022

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing