[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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Complexities behind classical music

twitchquotes: Chat doesnt understand the complexities behind classical music. While most of chat spends their days spamming "Kappas" and such, I study music theory and the works of Bach and Mozart. Musical masterpieces such as these are not easy for the average person to comprehend, and certainly above those that chat.
twitch chat
July 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Elder God Heavy [TF2 CHEATER]

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⣀⣀⣀⡠⠬⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢻⣉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡟⠁⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣀⣀⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⢣⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡇⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢅⡒⠃⠀⠓⠒⡲⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡸⠀⠎⠀⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢳⢸⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡱⠀⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⢠⠇⡜⠀⢰⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠷⠊⠉⠲⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⡌⡸⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⢠⠇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⡰⠖⠤⢤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⠈⠀⠀⠙⠉⣿⠛⢻⠂⠒⣶⠒⠉⣭⣍⠉⠒⠀⠀⠉⠉⢱⠤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢀⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⠹⡿⣿⠽⠀⡀⠀⠈⢻⠆⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣻⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠘⣇⠀⣀⣸⠀⠀⠉⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⠹⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣛⣿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⢀⠴⠊⣩⢻⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢱⡝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠋⡍⠀⢸⣀⠤⠔⠒⠊⡏⡠⠚⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠈⡏⢢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡠⠷⠾⠥⠤⠤⡄⠀⡜⠀⡇⢠⠁⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠀⠀⡇⠀⡇⡇⠀⠀⠀⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠌⢀⠤⠒⢁⡠⠊⠘⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠒⠒⢛⠄⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠕⠊⠁⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⢠⠋⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠤⡴⠞⠋⣀⠤⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿ ⠾⠤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠔⢉⡤⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⢡⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠮⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡠⠊⠈⠉⠉⠉⠑⡲⠓⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⡡⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣀⣎⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠐⡆⠀⢀⢜⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠢⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡠⡞⠁⢠⢊⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠒⠤⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠜⠀⡰⡡⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⢀⠖⢲⠢⠤⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤ ⠀⣰⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠀⡰⠃⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠐⠒⠢⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⣴⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⢰⠁⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠒⠒⢲⠀⢀⠎⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⡰⢻⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⢠⠋⢠⠊ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⢀⠞⠀⢦⡀⠑⠤⣀⡀⠀⠸⢅⡀⠈⠑⠒⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⡠⠃⢠⠃⠀
May 2021

Ban one fish, get the school

twitchquotes: FishMoley ban FishMoley one FishMoley fish FishMoley and FishMoley you'll FishMoley get FishMoley the FishMoley school FishMoley
twitch chat
September 2016

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

The POLICE Just Stopped ME

twitchquotes: The POLICE Just Stopped ME Came Up To My Window An Said "PAPERS"? So I Said "SCISSORS" I WON & Drove OFF The guy Must Want A REMATCH Cuz He Been CHASING Me For The Past 10 MINUTES 😳😩
twitch chat
August 2018

No one this year has a chance against TL

twitchquotes: Hate to break it to you, but no one this year has a chance against TL. They are easily the best team in the world this year, and its easy to see why. You have Impact, former world champion and the tank god ready to reclaim his title, and there is nothing that will stand in his way. Xmithie, the legendary jungle who knows the ins and outs of every single part of the game, ask him how much damage krugs will do to Anivia jungle at level 2 with just the starting item? He knows. Ask him where Mlxg will be at 20:43 into the game when its only 10:12? He can give you an area accurate to withing 500 units. You have Jensen, easily clapping perkz, caps, and your mum, as well as dominating the inferior Chinese and Korean mids. You have Doublelift, so called because he can carry twice as hard as any other ADC in the game, backed up by CoreJJ, a world champion who is so accurate with his Thresh hooks Riot had to program in a random number generator just to make sure he misses at least 20% of them to keep it fair to the enemy. Anyone who thinks EU, China, Korea, or any other team has a chance this year is straight up wrong.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing