[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

pepegaClown

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠒⠄⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠉⠐⠠⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠔⠊⡽⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡤⠊⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡃⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⣀⠄⠄⢋⣭⣭⠭⣶⣬⡛⢋⣴⠟⣣⣬⣍⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣨⣭⣶⢋⣩⣶⣿⣶⠶⣦⡈⠁⣾⣿⠄⠄⠱⡄⠄ ⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡹⣿⣿⠁⢀⢸⣿⡄⢻⣿⣇⠄⢃⡿⠄ ⠄⠈⢋⣉⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⡇⠄⠋⣸⠋⠄⠄⠈⠉⢉⠥⠖⠁ ⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣫⣔⣒⠻⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⡘⠷⣭⣭⣭⡭⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣵⣾⡧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡟⣍⠻⣷⣜⡻⠿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣦⣀⠄⢀⣠⡿⢟⣋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣧⡹⢿⣮⣙⡻⠷⢦⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⠭⢖⣚⡍⠁⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⢷⣤⣀⠄⠙⠛⠷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⡍⠉⠁⠄⠄⢀⠰⠛⠄⠄⠄ ⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⡻⠷⠶⢤⣤⣬⣭⣭⡭⠥⢤⣤⡤⠶⣊⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣛⠻⠿⠿⢟⡻⠐⢃⠒⢥⣤⣄⢤⠠⢈⠂⣵⣶⣾⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⠂⠴⢞⠒⠒⡸⠐⢬⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

Pepe

YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit

twitchquotes: Those plebs simply dont get it, all those who oppose YEP COCK are nothing more than a band of simpletons. YEP COCK is modern expression of bacchic spirit. YEP COCKER entering a chat is like priest of Dionysus Enorches, wielding a thyris and bearing wreath of grapevine. As the elder priest leading cultists in state of bacchic haze to sacred Eleusis YEP COCKER announces the unbridled joy of YEP COCKERY by the simple sign of YEP COCK which lets everyone forget of their quotidian struggles.
twitch chat
June 2020

This is Catarrian's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Jebaited isn't so great? Are you kidding me?

twitchquotes: Jebaited isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a meme with such influence and beauty in Twitch chat? Jebaited takes Twitch to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see another Twitch meme with the same level of memeness. Unite my Twitch brothers! We will forever sing in the old Jewish hymn: "Kappa outdated. PogChamp overrated. Long have we waited. Now we Jebaited."
twitch chat
January 2017

notices you have a bulge

twitchquotes: Rawr~nuzzles how are you daddy? pounces on you you’re so warm. owo? notices you have a bulge. someone’s happy! nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe. rubbies your bulgy wolgy you’re so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn’t stop growing uwu kisses you and lickies your neck. do you likie? im wagging my wittle baby tail all for your bulgy wolgy! come on daddy dont keep me waiting~
twitch chat
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing