[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

you are NOT a Pokémon Trainer

twitchquotes: you are NOT a Pokémon Trainer. true trainers understand that battling requires us to see our opponents as equals. you flaunting Pokémon Showdown, whilst aiding in this riot, only shows your ignorance in what it means to be a trainer.
twitch chat
January 2021

Sub with Twitch Prime

⣿⢛⡛⡟⢻⡟⣿⢛⡛⣿⣿⢻⠟⢿⢻⠛⣟⠛⣛⡟⣿⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⢦⡍⣇⢸⡇⣿⢨⡅⢻⣿⡌⢸⠈⣼⠀⣿⠀⣿⡇⣤⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣾⣶⣿⣶⣿⣶⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⣏⡉⢉⡏⡿⠹⡏⡏⢹⡉⢉⣹⢋⡙⣿⢹⡏⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢸⣧⠀⡇⢠⡇⢸⡇⢸⣿⠸⡟⣿⢠⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣾⣿⣶⣷⣾⣷⣾⣷⣾⣿⣶⣶⣿⣾⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢩⡍⡏⢩⡉⡏⢹⠉⢹⠉⣿⢉⣉⣿⡇⠻⠟⠁⠘⠿⠋⣿⣿ ⣿⢠⣴⡇⢠⠐⡇⢸⠀⡘⡆⣿⠰⠶⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⣷⣾⣷⣷⣾⣶⣷⣷⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿
January 2020

mizkifHalt

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⣿⢀⡀⢰⣦⢀⣠⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣶⡄ ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⡇ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠫⠭⠶⢦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⢱⣬⡙⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⠃ ⣀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣬⣝⣛⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⡒⠢⠭⠤⢹⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣦⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣓⣘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Mizkif

My dong strong and hard as diamond

twitchquotes: No one believed in my dong, but when I raised it, QTpie saw it and found a shred of potential in it. Then he believed. And all the others did as well. QTpie believes, and now so do I. I shall climb these mountains of Gold, destroy those Platinum plebs, and then, and only then, my dong will be strong and hard. As a diamond.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
April 2022

Anime

Weebs

Attack on Titan

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