[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Twitch Chat and Team Rocket

twitchquotes: тo proтecт тнe cнaт ғroм devaѕтaтιon, тo υnιтe ѕpaммerѕ wιтнιn oυr naтιon, тo denoυnce тнe evιlѕ oғ вanѕ and мodѕ, тo eхтend oυr ѕpaм тo тнe ѕpace aвove. copy! paѕтe! тwιтcн cнaт, ѕcroll aт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιgнт! Sυrrender or prepare тo ғιgнт! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) тнaт'ѕ rιgнт!
twitch chat
June 2014
imaqtpie

Hello, this is Kripp's red shirt

twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku

twitchquotes: "Tides my player," say the Reynardino, "you are my slaverrino, why don't you make videos?" But the Tides don't respond. He elopes to C9 and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Kolento. Alone in his heart, Reynard commits saltdoku at a Saltbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Shrug

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠴⠒⠒⠲⠤⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢚⣂⡀⠈⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⡴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⠐⢟⡇⠀⠈⢣⣠⠞⠉⠉⠑⢄⠀⠀⣰⠋⡯⠗⣚⣉⣓⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢠⢞⠉⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠓⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⢹⣠⠕⠘⢧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠘⠮⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣇⠀⢳⠀⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⠉⠓⠦⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⠤⠤⠖⠋⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠈⡇⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⣆⠀⠀⠀⢱⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠳⠃⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢏⠉⢳⡀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⡞⠓⠉⠁⠀⢳⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠙⠦⣤⣀⣀⡤⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⠗⠒⣚⠀⢀⡤⠚⠉⢳⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⠵⡾⠋⠉⠉⡏⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣀⣳⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠲⠤⠤⠤⠴⠚⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2022

Look, I can play Death Standing too!

twitchquotes: Look, I can play Death Standing too!: ▲ Enter Private Room > Options > Skip. ▲ Take a Shower > Options > Skip > Options > Skip > Options > Skip. ◉ to Use Toilet (Standing) > Options > Skip. ✖ to Use Toilet (Sitting) > Options > Skip. ▲ Leave Private Room > Options > Skip.
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing