[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you. Do you remember when you used to turn me on all the time? Now that you're a big time gaming memester, I get as much use as the surfboard and your guitar. I miss you and I hope you use my 29 watts soon
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I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
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PogChamp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣄⣶⡶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡦⡟⠻⠛⠙⠉⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⠛⣾⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠽⢿⣧⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⠞⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⠆⠄ ⠄⣼⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⣻⡃⠄ ⠄⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢸⣧⠄ ⠄⢿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣋⣩⣭⣝⣿⣿⠛⢰⡇⠄ ⠄⢸⡇⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⠉⢉⣿⠋⣟⢻⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⡀⢳⡗⠂⣠⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣉⣸⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢳⣷⣿⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⠄⠈⠙⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⢿⡿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠳⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢢⣦⣾⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⢉⣽⠇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣄⢀⠄⣀⣝⢻⣿⡿⠒⣀⣀⣸⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⣤⠁⠙⠎⢻⣄⠄⠄⣸⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠶⢦⣄⣀⣣⠴⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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Joseph Kony's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am famous child soldier militia commander Joseph Kony. I want to help you make your own child soldier militia too so we can fight the white man as one. I hope you make the right decision and remember, dongerino dongerino please no copi pasterino banerino Al Pacino cappuccino orange moccha frappuccino steal your kiderino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I dropped my notes

twitchquotes: ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ OOOPS I dropped my notes ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing