PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
GREAT AD OF THE SKY PLEASE HEAR MY CRY
twitchquotes:
GREAT AD OF THE SKY PLEASE HEAR MY CRY. TRANSFORM THYSELF FROM AD OF LIGHT AND BRING ME VICTORY IN THIS FIGHT. ENVELOP THE DESERT WITH YOUR GLOW AND CAST YOUR AD UPON MY FOE. UNLOCK YOUR ADS FROM DEEP WITHIN SO THAT TOGETHER WE MAY WIN!!
twitch chat
TwitchPresents
YuGiOh Ad Marathon
Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?
This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
Am I The Asshole?
WallStreetBets
Forsen's face
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⢡⣾⣻⣿⣿⣿⡅⠈⢾⢧⣫⠄⣡⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠸⣿⠏⢿⠋⢱⠄⠐⡏⡞⠣⠻⣿⢣⢛⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⣔⢯⣅⠉⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠁⠄⢛⣡⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⣠⠿⠦⠿⠉⢀⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠈⢻⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⢇⡴⠂⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⣈⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠇⠝⠃⣴⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠸⠄⡀⣼⡿⠋⣠⣤⣄⣀⣈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢀⣀⣠⣤⣉⠁⠈⡄⠄⠄⠄
⢰⣇⢰⢳⣿⣥⣾⡿⠛⢛⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣛⡻⢿⣷⣄⢷⠄⠄⠄
⠐⣇⡾⣾⣿⣿⣿⠰⠟⠭⠹⢷⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠴⠟⠍⢹⠆⣻⣿⣼⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⠻⢭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣛⣛⣛⠻⠿⣿⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⠟⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣏⣉⣉⣿⣿⣁⣨⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠈⠛⠛⢿⡟⠓⠄⠉⠙⠓⠮⣽⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣭⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄
⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠺⣧⣄⡀⢯⣩⡅⣶⣒⣤⣩⡍⣽⡠⠂⣼⡀⣸⣿⣿⣿⡇
⠄⡇⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣤⣾⡿⠄⢻
Forsen
I’m a simple guy
I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy “financial instruments” or “market dynamics” or “where the clit is.”
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
WallStreetBets
Jared returns home from North Korea to Tobito
twitchquotes:
The year is 2028, Jared returns home to Nantucket after serving his 3rd tour in North Korea. Victorious but broken, he exhales hard as he looks up to see his quaint house on the hill. It isn't until that his eyes take in the grace and beauty of Tobito Flatdickacini that he finds the will to continue living. That night they dined on rum and cheese by candlelight and reminisced of 2016. The time of Harambe, the quarrel they had that lead to JABITO, and their asexual child, Plankie. 
twitch chat
Fate_Twisted_NA