[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My BODY is machine that turns diary products into spicy liquid diarrhea

My ๐Ÿคธโ€โ™‚๏ธBODY๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ is a ๐Ÿš‚๐Œ๐€๐‚๐‡๐ˆ๐๐„๐Ÿš‚ that turns ๐Ÿ„๐’น๐’ถ๐’พ๐“‡๐“Ž ๐“…๐“‡๐‘œ๐’น๐“Š๐’ธ๐“‰๐“ˆ๐Ÿฅ› into โžก ๐Ÿ”ฅโ“ˆโ“…โ’พโ’ธโ“Ž๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿณ๐“๐’พ๐“†๐“Š๐’พ๐’น๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐”ป๐•€๐”ธโ„โ„โ„๐”ผ๐”ธ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช
March 2021

Emoji Pasta

i cannot support a stoner kripp

twitchquotes: wow. i cannot support a stoner kripp. i have given thousands of my hard earned money to you but i cannot sit idly by and let you use your platform to promote the devil's lettuce.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace youโ€™ve been wielding for the last months. Itโ€™ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and youโ€™ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonightโ€™s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but youโ€™re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

hablo espaneo

twitchquotes: helo fabby i am hablo espaneo i come from mexican i am liking your curse videos. after i am watching your streaming video i am strong enough to shoot father hablo with crossing bow. learning tumble and fight dragon. i now in jail watching stream with dyrus on big tv. no copy pasterino macachino banerinio spamino. thank u
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ Hey NON Subs, Thanks for watching the ads for me ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
June 2015
Trump

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing