PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hafu is more hardcore than Kripp
twitchquotes:
Kripp, I'm disappointed in you. Your chat is out of control and you don't even care. Your veiwers are the most pathetic scum on Twitch. Even worse, Hafu is a more hardcore player than you. Are you even trying anymore? Whatever, I'm going to go watch Reynad or Trump, you useless bag of ***.
twitch chat
Kripp
My kids were listening to Lil Nas X
My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesnβt he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole youβre a life saver!
George Orwell ruined my life
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat
Coronavirus
COVID
It's me Tanner from High School
twitchquotes:
It's me Tanner from High School. I'm sorry for bulling you in class. Now I'm trying to be a better person and make amends. Please accept my apology. I am on the 12 steps program and trying to recover from alcoholism since I was diagnosed with a rare disease called ligma Just kidding nerd!! I'm gonna keep slapping Veronica's ass and driving around in my Dodge Charger. I gotta go to the gym. Good talk!
twitch chat