[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Today I finally came out as dreamgender to my family and friends, this is how it went.

I woke up in the morning at 7am and immediately went to wake up my parents. I explained to them how I'm dreamgender and dreamsexual but they didnt even know who dream is, boomers. I had to explain to them its a sexy minecraft youtuber and how Im connected to him emotionally and sexually. They didnt get mad at all (yay!) they just stared at me with a blank expression. I think theyre proud of me but just dont know what to think of it yet since it came as such as shock to them. I tried to show them a video of dream but they werent really interested and told me to go to school. in school the first class was english so I told the teacher that I had an important announcement that I would like to tell to the entire class. Yesterday I prepared a short powerpoint presentation on dreamgenders and dreamsexuals to make them better understand. I explained how dream is really hot and how I feel a deep connection to dream and how he is my soulmate and my identity. The teacher was so amazed I guess she didnt know what to say haha she looked like she was smiling. When I finished explaining why dream is hot and awesome, I started clapping expecting everyone else to do the same, but they didnt. My best friend didnt clap either which was really weird but maybe he was also surprised since I hadnt told him either. my teacher ended up being the only one clapping, so Im really thankful to her. I thought they didnt get it so I tried to explain in simpler terms that I love dream and how I am dream. Some girls were giggling the entire time so I called them out on it saying they shouldnt be laughing when I have prepared for this moment for so long. Then they started saying really dreamphobic things like saying its stupid and makes no sense. I explained to them why its homophobic and close minded but they didnt listen. Then some guy called me a stupid fucking nerd which made my blood boil. I challenged him to a duel in minecraft which he didnt even respond to and his friends were just laughing. Everyone else was silent I thought that they secretly supported me but just didnt want to face the same oppression dreamgenders and dreamsexuals have to face every day. Then the teacher told me to get back to my seat and started the lesson like nothing happened. I told her I wanted to show the class a compilation of minecraft manhunt best moments but she didnt let me do it. After the class a bunch of my classmates came to me and asked if I was joking or what and I tried to explain it to them but they were just making fun of me and saying Im weird and a creep. it was awful. I was bullied a bit before but now nobody wanted to talk to me the entire day even when I tried to show my ''friends'' (not friends anymore, theyre nazis apparently) some dream videos and discussed minecraft speedrunning they didnt respond at all. I've been crying the entire day because I cant believe the people I thought were cool were dreamphobes/racists/nazis as well. 😭😭😭😭😭 its honestly really crushing how people are still like this in 2021. now Im starting to realize I dont need those kinds of toxic people in my life and the only person I truly need is Dream. Dream is my boyfriend, my gender, my sexuality, my identity and my best friend all at once, why would I need anyone else?
June 2021

Dreamgender

I am not a simp.

twitchquotes: And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. I’ve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simped– never simped for a girl. I’ve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not I’m a simp. Well, I’m not a simp. I’ve never simped for any girl I’ve got. I am not a simp.
twitch chat
July 2020

Simps

WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp 🐟 Elon TechnoCuckLord 🤖+🤴 Jeff Divorcedzos 💔 Salmonella 🐔 Nutella 🍫 Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman 🤡 Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya 🍈 Ryan Cocken your butthole 🥒💦 👉👌😳 🥒 Z 🥒 U 🥒 C 🥒 C 🥒 Tim 🍎 Bottom 🅱️ENIS Jack Ma MIA 🤷‍♂️ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the 🐻s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods 🙏✝️
March 2021

WallStreetBets

DOGES and hunter is OP

twitchquotes: when BRAINDEAD, my hand automatically go to the Huntard. i stroke the buzzard and feel i have sex with the DOGES all becoming OP
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

CNN reports on Reynad in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: ༼;´ ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ༽ Attention twitch chat. CNN is reporting popular Hearthstone streamer Andrey "REYNAD" Yanyuk attempted to hang himself after a disappointing weekend of tournaments. Luckily he ran out of rope before he could finish the cowardly act. ༼;´ ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ༽
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing