[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor

twitchquotes: ​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
twitch chat
June 2021
TenZ

Valorant

xQc schnoze

⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠧⣛⣛⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣷⢬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢀⠀⣤⣴⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣛⣿⣯⣭⡿⣯⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠂⢈⣴⣿⢋⣛⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣽⣿⠿⢛⠩⢍⣂⣴⣦⣀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⣷⣿⣿⣿⣛⣽⠟⣩⣴⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠏⣿⠋⠀⠔⣶⠟⠉⠀⠂⠀⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣦⣄⣤⣿⡃⠀⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⡶⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⣧⣦⢻⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠟⠋⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡯⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣬⠻⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⠂⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢿⣿⣿⠀⣠⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣶⣄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠟⡴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2019
xQcOW

I love Pokimane

A lot of people say that Pokimane is not really a talented streamer but she's famous. A lot of people say her success comes from looking good and i'd agree with them and some of these people say her success comes from her personality and all the time she's spent streaming and i'd also agree with them. The thing is I think i'm in love with Pokimane and I think she's super pretty, talented, amazing, beautifal, funny, and smart. I want to make Pokimane my wife and wake up to her next to me every morning. I want to please her in every way I can just to see the smile on her face. Every time I think about waking up next to her , it makes me so happy and so in love with her. I think she has one of the most beautiful bodies on this earth and I would like to see her with my own eyes every day. Her smile , her charm, her charisma, her laughter, her tears, her thoughts, her feelings. I want to share everything with this women that I've fallen for. I don't care that people are going to say that I have no chance with her it's fine but thinking about being with her makes me happy so why is it so wrong to have that. If you guys want to make fun of me for liking Pokimane that's fine but I'll always love her with everything I have. I want to be with Pokimane through life , through death, through thick and thin, through sadness and sorrow, and everlasting happiness, I want to be there. I know i've already said this before but I'll say it again make fun of me for falling in love with Pokimane but you'll never break the love i have for her.
January 2021
Pokimane

Simps

Don't post another copypasta

twitchquotes: Hey😠stop🚨right there ✋ this is the police 👮 if you post another 📖 copy📠🍝 pasta again in this neighborhood 🏠🏠 I'm gonna have to 🔒arrest you🔒 no ticket today 👦 kiddo 📟this is just a warning ⚠ be careful next time🚧
twitch chat
June 2017

ME BOT ME SPAM NO VIEWERS IF BAN

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid ME BOT MrDestructoid ME SPAM MrDestructoid NO VIEWERS MrDestructoid IF BAN MrDestructoid
twitch chat
January 2017

Viewbots

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