[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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More Copypastas

NA LOST TO CORONA

twitchquotes: NA LOST TO CORONA LUL NA LOST TO POLICE BRUTALITY LUL NA LCS IS SO BAD LUL NA PRODUCTION IS THE WORST LUL NA USING TEETH TO DEFEND THEMSELVES LUL
twitch chat
July 2020

EU vs NA

PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS

McDonalds is trying to invade the world. I don't know if you'll believe me, but it's true. I have plenty of evidence. In the USA, a McDonalds opens every 14.5 hours. That is very much. I see Mcdonalds every time I drive my car on the road. I live in a smaller area and there are plenty of McDonalds!. Once I saw two were next to each other! I went to Big Bear to have a nice winter, but a FUCKING MCDONALDS WAS THERE. I went to another country to stay there because I always wanted to go there. No McDonalds! but there was a new problem. AMONG US! PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS, I AM SUFFERING
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Hospitals

twitchquotes: If 700,000 people die in hospitals every year. Why don't we close down these hospitals and prevent those deaths? (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
June 2021

Hello I'm 13 year old from asia, name Lee Cheng Yun

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ɪᴍ 13 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀsɪᴀ, ɴᴀᴍᴇ ʟᴇᴇ ᴄʜᴇɴɢ ʏᴜɴ. ɪ ɴᴏ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍsᴇʟғ? ᴡʜʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ғᴀᴄᴇs ɪɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴛ? ɪ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅs ɪɴ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʜsᴛᴏɴᴇ, ɪ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴘᴀᴄᴋ ғɪɴᴅ ᴍɪʟʜᴏᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴜsᴇ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴢᴏᴏ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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