PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
An automated message from Blizzard Entertainment to Athene
twitchquotes:
Greetings, AtheneLIVE! This is an automated message from Blizzardβ’ Entertainment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstoneβ’ AI has flagged your account due to an unusual number of ranked game losses. We recommend that you use the "Suggested Card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzardβ’ Team.
twitch chat
AtheneLIVE
Ahoy Kripp, ya landlubber
twitchquotes:
ΰ§ΰΌΌ Β°Ν _βΜΏ ΰΌ½? Ahoy Kripp, ya landlubber. We request a swashbuckling pirate deck, else ye be walkin the plank. ΰ§ΰΌΌ Β°Ν _βΜΏ ΰΌ½?
twitch chat
Kripp
ΰ§ΰΌΌΰ² ηΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ¨ riot ΰ§ΰΌΌΰ² ηΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ¨
My dad works at twitch dude
twitchquotes:
My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
Masculinity is now illegal
As of this morning π, masculinity πͺππ is NO π«β LONGER π LEGAL πβ. If you π are masculine π΄, please ππββοΈ report π to your ππΌ nearest π Femboy ππββοΈ Education π Center π’β, clean-shaven and wearing πππ thigh-high socks π§¦. Those who fail π« to follow π£ these orders ππ WILL BE CANCELLED βπ·π‘.
Peruvians and Dota 2
twitchquotes:
Let's look at this statistically. Assuming you are not Peruvian, your team has four chances to spawn a Peruvian. The other team has five chances to spawn a Peruvian. Overall, you will have less Peruvians then your opponents, and will automatically rise on the ladder. If you aren't rising, you are probably secretly a Peruvian, ruining the statistical balance of sweet victory.
twitch chat
SingSing