PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Flame imp is a bad card
twitchquotes:
Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
Kripp
Soju Going 8th Checklist
GOING 8TH CHECKLIST: I already won the game β This lobbyβs playing for second β This is my last loss β I win out from here β My board is too lit β HP is fake β Iβm about to spike hard β Thatβs a fake loss β 20hp? Thatβs 3 lives β This game is over β We win out β
k3soju
Teamfight Tactics
Your sorry excuse for a job
twitchquotes:
Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
Kripp
Wife attack AITA?
I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23Β°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
My family keeps making Amongus references
It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at homeπ―π€¬ don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 
and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πππ. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πππ But then the worse partπ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS π but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention π―π
π€£
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πππ. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πππ But then the worse partπ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS π but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention π―π
π€£
The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?