PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie
twitchquotes:
He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
MIC VOLUME TOO LOW
twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｓｕｂ ｍｏｄｅ ｏｆｆ， ｉ ａｐｐｌｙ ｃａｎｃｅｒ ｄｉｒｅｃｔｌｙ ｔｏ ｃｈａｔ． ｉ ｓｔａｒｅ ａｔ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｔ ａｎｄ ｓａｙ ｔｈｅ ＭＩＣ ＶＯＬＵＭＥ ＩＳ ＴＯＯ ＬＯＷ ａｌｌ ｍａｋｉｎｇ ｒｅｙｎａｄ
twitch chat
Reynad
This message is protected by a special font
twitchquotes:
TᕼIᔕ ᗰᕮᔕᔕᗩGᕮ Iᔕ ᑭᖇOTᕮᑕTᕮᗪ ᗷY ᗩ ᔕᑭᕮᑕIᗩᒪ ᖴOᑎT. IT'ᔕ IᗰᑭOᔕᔕIᗷᒪᕮ TO ᑕOᑭY IT.
twitch chat
Reynad
Kripp Jong Un
twitchquotes:
໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ It is me Kripp Jong Un. I demand that all showings of "Topdecking and Wrecking 3: Gripped and Kripped" be removed immediately. Those who refuse will be pepperonied ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७
twitch chat
Kripp
This is a routine PokiW check
twitchquotes:
Hello sir. Do you know why I've stopped you? You haven't done anything wrong. This is just a routine PokiW check, sir. May I see your Twitch sub badges and username, please? Thank you. Now let's see that PokiW, hmm? Go ahead, type it in chat. No funny business. Dot the I and capitalize the W. I better not see an emote, son. Or you're off to jail.
twitch chat
Pokimane