[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans

twitchquotes: PJSalt __ PJSalt only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans ⎝ Kappa
twitch chat
May 2016
Sneaky

Banger from /r/conservativerap

Aye Yuh Uh Skrrrt Yuh I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32) Instrumental break I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32)
July 2021

when were you when john lenin dies

twitchquotes: apology for poor english. when were you when john lenin dies? i was sat at home eating smegma butter when pjotr ring. ‘john is kill’ ‘no’
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Hello my fellow Trump subs

twitchquotes: Hello my fellow Trump subs. Alone we are not much but together we are strong. You cannot touch us Forsen Boys, no matter if you tuck us. So trump subs, copy and paste this message so we can defeat the Forsen Boys.
twitch chat
April 2015
Trump

Story about the Romanian Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Here's the story about the Romanian Kripparrian. Born to a Momarrian and Paparrian. Lived in Canadarrian for some timerrian but is engaged to a womanarrian in Greecerrian. Rainarrian has absorbed Kripparrian and will one day make many babyarrians. Kripparrian and the familyarrian lived happy ever afterarrian. Please no copy pasterrian.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing