PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Kripp is actually still living in Canada
twitchquotes:
Kripp Is actually still living in Canada, He's Got Artificial sunlight to make it look like he's living in another timezone with Speakers that emit background sound All so that he can get more Euro and Australian Viewers and make it look like he's not actually a vampire so vampire hunters donβt hunt him down. I see through your disguise Kripp 
twitch chat
Kripp
Spending New years eve on twitch BibleeThump
twitchquotes:
No job β 
Mom's house β No talents β No gf β No friends β No midnight kiss β Spending New years eve on twitch β Must be us
Mom's house β No talents β No gf β No friends β No midnight kiss β Spending New years eve on twitch β Must be us
twitch chat
Octavian Morosan
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Kripp
Lonely Moby Dick
twitchquotes:
So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
FitnessGram Pacer Test
The FitnessGramβ’ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.