[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Yearly dongers supply

twitchquotes: ヽ ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Did you know: Most dongers—78 percent of the yearly dongers supply—is made into fedoras. Other industries, mostly electronics, medical, and dental, require about 12 percent. The remaining 10 percent of the yearly dongers supply is used in financial transactions. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Cyberpunk 2077 Keanu Reeves

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February 2021

People space jammed from the oldest of times

twitchquotes: From the oldest of times, people jammed for a number of reasons. They jammed in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they Jammed to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they Jammed to celebrate." And that is the Jamming we're talking about. Aren't we told in Psalm 149 "Praise ye the Lord Octavian. Slam Jam unto the Lord Octavian a new song. Let them praise His name in the Space Jam"? And it was King David - King David, who we read about in Samuel - and what did David do? What did David do? He jammed
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Black and white filter feature for League of Legends

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie, I've noticed that recently you've been using the black and white filter™ feature for league of legends for nearly the entire game. Me and everyone else in the chat would appreciate it if you turn it off, thank you.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

k3soju it's a neighth

soju ponders with the idea of slamming a cav spat. Hovering his chain over his spatula while he contemplates. Suddenly, he slips - accidentally slamming the cav spat ON HIMSELF. Twitch chat watch as soju twists and morphs into a horse live on stream. He stares into the camera... "it's a neighth"
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing