[Copypasta] I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

Female Amogus Crewmate v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠖⠛⠓⠲⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣏⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠋⠉⠀⠈⠉⠻⣄⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣉⠉⣉⢉⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠳⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡠⠴⢿⣿⠋⠉⣹⠻⢿⣿⣿⣤⣴⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠛⠀⠀⢹⡟⠻⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⣶⣤⣤⠀ ⢠⣿⣷⣿⣿⠟⣛⣇⠀⠀⠀⣈⡷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠈⠙⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠋⢁⣼⣏⣡⣤⣤⢐⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠙⠿⣿⣷⢤⣀⡀⢸⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣄⠈⢡⣾⣉⡤⠚⣩⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣈⡙⠻⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠈⠻⣯⡴⠋⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣿⢶⣤⣿⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠙⢻⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠽⣿⣽⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⡿⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠿⠀⠈⠻⣷⣿⣿⡇⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡰⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

With love from me, your dad, to you, my son

twitchquotes: Sebastian Fors, I think it'll be hard for you to take this in but here go. I've wanted to write you this message since the day you started streaming. Though I'm not happy how you act here, roleplaying and god knows what while streaming. But you know that I will allways love you. I'm coming to dreamhack this summer and I'll finally get to meet you. If you remember your mother, Hafu, you will understand why leaving you with her was my only option... I have not been the greatest father... but I'll allways love you and care for you. Even though people call you a roleplayer I will allways protect you. WIth love from me, your dad, to you, my son. - Trump
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here!

twitchquotes: Hey everyone, Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here! PermaSmug We are glad to see chat loves the game. You can download it for free for IOS of Andrioid right now and get 500 gems for free! Want to play more? No problem! Just use this 👉 💳 and you may continue!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Hosty and Amaz

twitchquotes: "Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
January 2015
Amaz
Text-to-Speech Playing