[Copypasta] I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

Dank memes

twitchquotes: 🅳🅰🅽🅺🅼🅴🅼🅴🆂
twitch chat
March 2016
ESL TV LoL

Wagner Opera Topdeckhoffen

twitchquotes: Gᴜᴛᴇɴ Tᴀɢ, Hᴇʀʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ! Mᴇɪɴ Nᴀᴍᴇ ɪsᴛ Pᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴠᴏɴ Pᴀsᴛᴇɴʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Hᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ Dᴇᴜᴛsᴄʜʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ Wᴀɢɴᴇʀ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀ Tᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋʜᴏғғᴇɴ. Rᴀɴɪᴀ ɪs Vᴀʟᴋʏʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪʟʟs ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴠᴇɴɢᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴅᴀs Pᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ. Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴘᴏᴜʀs Oʀᴀɴɢᴇɴsᴀғᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀ ɪɴ sᴋʏ ᴀs ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢʜᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Pʟᴢ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴏɢᴇɴ ᴅᴀᴀɢᴇɴ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

AYAYA

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⡛⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠻⡫⣢⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣨⣝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢕⠸⣛⣩⣥⣄⣩⢝⣛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣆⢝ ⣿⣿⢡⣸⣿⣏⣿⣿⣶⣯⣙⠫⢺⣿⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣟⣒⣋⣙⠊ ⣿⡏⡿⣛⣍⢿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣝⡮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⣡⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿ ⣦⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⢛⠷⡹⣿⠋⣉⣠⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿ ⣷⡝⣿⡞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠁⣠⣤⣤⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡹⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡿⠟⠉⡀⠄⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣼⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⠿⢟⣻⡽⢚⣤⡞⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿
October 2018

Weebs

Classic

Will twitch chat copy pasta anything?

twitchquotes: Will twitch chat copy pasta anything? I sometimes type up big paragraphs trying to be clever and pander to the type of humor that copypasters enjoy. I am beginning to wonder if that matters at all though, will they paste this even though I'm not being funny or referring to some 2015 hearthstone joke about some other dead HS streamer? I guess I'm about to find out.
twitch chat
August 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing