[Copypasta] I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⡀⣠⠀⠀⣠⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⢠⣿⡇⢀⣿⠀⣿⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠷⠶⠀⣼⠛⣧⣸⡇⢸⡏⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⠁⣰⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⠷⠶⠂⠸⠃⠀⠘⠃⠘⠿⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣤⣄⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣠⣤⣤⣀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⣠⡄⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⣠⡀ ⠀⢠⡟⠁⣿⠀⠀⣼⠁⠀⢠⡟⠈⣿⠂⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⣰⢿⡇⠀⣼⣷⠀⣰⣿⠁ ⠀⠘⠷⣦⡀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⣼⣧⡴⠏⢀⣿⠶⠶⠀⣰⠏⢸⡇⢠⡿⣿⣴⢿⡏⠀ ⢠⡆⠀⣼⠇⠀⣼⠃⠀⢠⡿⠸⣧⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⣰⠟⠛⣻⡇⣼⠇⠿⠃⣿⠁⠀ ⠈⠷⠾⠋⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠸⠃⠀⠿⠀⠿⠶⠶⠰⠟⠀⠀⠻⠀⠟⠀⠀⠘⠏⠀⠀
May 2020

sumSmash

⣽⣤⣄⠟⡟⣄⣀⣼⣟⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢻⣿⡟⠘⠓⠙⠛⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠻⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠟⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⡙⢿⣿⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⠛⠯⠛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣋⣛⣑⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣦⣀⠈⢨⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢩⠄⢈⠄⠤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⣧⢧⡤⣤⣀⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄ ⣴⣿⡿⠛⠈⣧⠘⠉⠳⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⠂⠸⢷⡄⠈⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢃⠉⢀⠛⠄⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣦⣴⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Summt1g

Here 💦 CUMS 💦 SANTA (Christmas Emoji Pasta)

Here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 right down 👩🏽👸🏽slutty girl lane!👩🏽👸🏽 ❌🚫❌🚫STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!❌🚫❌🚫 Is your 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 not giving you enough 💦💦💦cummies?!💦💦💦 Hold up,🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽 ho! It's 💦💦cummy💦💦 ❄️💦❄️SEASON!❄️💦❄️ Push✋🏽✋🏽 that 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 to the ⏩⏩side⏩⏩ and let a 👌🏽NEW👌🏽 father in 🏡YOUR CHIMNEY!! 🏡 🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽Father CHRISTMAS,🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽 the 👑👑KING👑👑 of 💦cummies!💦 That's right,👍🏼 he's been making 👧🏽little👧🏽 👧🏽girls👧🏽 squishy for 6️⃣ CENTURIES. Don't ❎❎ mind the old saying; he ONLY makes the 💦😫😫😈NAUGHTIEST😈😫😫💦girls ☁️squishy☁️! So send this to all the 😼nastiest😼 👧🏽girls👧🏽 you know and share❗️Those❗️Cummies❗️Get 0️⃣ back and you're a basic 🌑🌑coal-slinging bitch.🌑🌑 Get 5️⃣ back and you get 👅eaten👅 like 🍪cookies🍪and 👅💦slurped💦👅 like 🍼milk!🍼 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and 🎅🏽Santa's🎅🏽 big 🍆🍆COCK🍆🍆 will grow⏫⏫ 3️⃣ sizes inside of you!😫😩 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you become Mrs. Claus, and get 🍑🍌🍆yummy 🍒🍭🍼nummy 🍼💦☁️squishy🍼💦☁️ 💧💧cummies💧💧 until next ⏩🌨☃Christmas!🌨☃
December 2021

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

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