[Copypasta] Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hello Michael Santana, this is your local tax officer

twitchquotes: Hello Michael Santana, this is your local tax officer. Your last reply as to why you haven't paid your taxes is unnacceptable. "I'll check it out later" and "You know how I get down" are NOT valid excuses. We are sending our men over RIGHT NOW to start repossessing your house.
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imaqtpie

Puts on sunglasses

Sounds to me like... ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ [punch line] (⌐■_■)
October 2021

You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021

Trollge face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠛⠛⠛⠟⠻⠛⡻⠿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⢀⠠⠖⠚⠒⠒⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣫⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣐⣤⣴⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡐⠬⣿⢷⠀⠐⢹⡿⠛⠛⣛⣛⣓⣛⡓⣶⣄⠀⣦⠈⠂⠎⢻⣧⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠿⠵⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣳⡵⠀⠂⢴⣿⣿⣷⡿⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣄⣀⣼⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠻⢻⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣰⣿⣷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⡇⢀⣶⠋⣥⢶⣿⣈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣦⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⡙⣷⡀ ⣷⣾⠁⡼⢡⣿⠛⣡⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⠛⣷⠀⢳⢘⣷ ⣿⣿⠀⠇⢸⣏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⡀⢸⢰⣿ ⣿⢿⣧⠘⣾⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠈⠿⣷⣾⣷⣶⣤⣭⣂⣼⠿⣷⣬⡟⣁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣰⠂⣾⣾⡿ ⡇⠀⠿⣷⡈⠻⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⡷⠈⢻⠛⠿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣄⣈⣉⣠⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⡟⠻⠙⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⠁⣼⠃⣼⣿⠟⠁ ⠃⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⠹⠏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣧⣰⠀⡀⠛⠃⠊⠹⡟⠋⠛⣿⠿⠛⠛⡏⠉⠋⡇⠀⣀⠇⢰⣇⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠎⣸⡿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣤⣸⠀⡇⢠⠀⣼⣠⣀⠀⡇⠀⡀⣄⣰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⡞⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⢿⡙⠻⣿⡇⢀⠇⣥⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠙⣿⣿⣆⣉⠁⠀⢋⠋⠀⡋⢹⡟⠉⢻⠋⠉⡏⠏⠀⢨⡀⠀⠀⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⡇⠙⠳⣌⠻⣿⣿⣆⠐⣼⣆⢠⠀⢻⣄⠀⢸⡂⠀⠂⡄⠀⢸⣷⣼⣶⣿⣿⠟⣻⣯⠁⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡦⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠙⣷⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣿⣄⡂⣸⣇⣀⢰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⠿⢋⣱⣾⣿⣇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⢨⣿⠀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣙⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⠅⠀⠀⣇⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⣣⣠⣍⣳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣂⠀⠀⢙⣧⡐⠀⠀⠀
March 2021

The LGBTQ future

twitchquotes: The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat
July 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing