I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Every E-Sport needs their clown
twitchquotes:
Every E-Sport needs their clown. We are privileged to have someone like Kripp in the Hearthstone community.
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Kripp
Handsome Shrek
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢩⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡧⣦⠄⢧⡙⢿⣟⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢿
⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⡈⠂⠄⠸⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠰⢠⣼
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢒⣂⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢛⣻⣿⣿⡟⢁⣠⣴⣶⣶
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢇⡄⣆⣤⣀⣦⡄⢈⣉⣛⣭⡀⠙⠭⡛⠿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣷⡾⣼⣿⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠿⠄⠈⠛⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⣀⡲⢦⣤⣼⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄
⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢡⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄
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Shrek
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes
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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3
We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us."
I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is.
I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
VAPE Master hat and dress
twitchquotes:
only the VAPE-MASTER can wear this vape hat 
and has the perfect body for this beautiful dress 
only the VAPE-MASTER can wear this vape hat and has the perfect body for this beautiful dress
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Kripp