I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
Imagine being Bill Gates right now.
You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education.
Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will..
Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live.
You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
ZOOMIN , IN THE FOreign. GOt thE enGINE ROARIN
twitchquotes:
Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓
twitch chat
Tyler1
RNGesus pounds Reynad's sweet, supple orifice relentlessly
twitchquotes:
Hello fair maiden Reynad, this is the valiant knight Sir Coppus Pastaronus. I have come to rescue you from the mystical Tower of Salt, where the cruel innkeeper RNGesus has pounded your sweet, supple orifice relentlessly to the beat of Lord 
Please no paste.
Please no paste.
twitch chat
Reynad
What does "Pog" mean?
Yes. But what does “Pog” mean are you trying to be mean if you are you have, if not then I will tell you again. WHAT. DOES. IT. MEAN. Because I do not know what your talking about bro I don’t know if you are trying to be funny/make a joke or if your being mean? So tell me if your trying to be funny or rude because I don’t know what your talking about.
Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon
Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination?
Don Lemon: Yeah.
Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when you’re — n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were — there’s a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?