[Copypasta] RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019

Not financial advise

I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Karen, please come back I miss the kids

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. Karen, please come back I miss the kids - Wilbur Soot 1:03 ──-ϙ─────4:07 ↠Next Song ↺Repeat✓ ⊜Pause
March 2021

FBI watermark

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣠⣤⣄⣀⣠⣿⠀⠀⢀⣤⣀⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡧⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢹⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠉⠀⢀⣾⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing