[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Sunglasses

β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
ascii art
August 2019

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021

Keepo

β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–“β–“β–€β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–„β–€β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–’β–€β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Torture dance 3

β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β „β£ β£Άβ£Άβ£·β£Ώβ£Άβ‘Šβ „β „β£€β£€β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣢⣾Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣿⣿⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘β β „β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£‘β£Άβ£Άβ£„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣦⑀⣿⣿⣿⣿⑻⣿⣿⑯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β ‰β ™β ›β’›β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓙ⣿⑧⠄⠄⒠⣾⣿⣿⑿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£„β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⑿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⑀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ£»β Ÿβ ˆβ »β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⠍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣷⑀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ’»β£Ώβ‘Ώβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ‘―β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β Έβ ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „
ascii art
April 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Torture Dance

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

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