[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
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More Copypastas

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game “Among Us” after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said ‘kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll “eject” me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a “crewmate”. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use “vent” to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Hi PL this is a story that I've been dying to tell you

twitch chat
July 2014
PhantomL0rd

4WeirdBusiness

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⣁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡉⠉⠉⠻⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⠋⠉⡉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⡿⠟⠉⣉⣉⣉⠉⠉⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣤⣶⣤⣤⣤⣬⣿⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣯⣤⣤⣤⣬⣿⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠾⠿⠿⠷⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⣶⣶⣶⡖⢰⣶⣶⣾⡿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠷⠾⠿⠿⠿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠲⣶⠖⠄⠒⢶⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡏⡖⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡇⠄⢰⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠛⠁⠇⠄⠄⠻⠙⠟⠃⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡇⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Subbin to Bjergsen when his emote is free

twitchquotes: subbing haHAA to bjergsen haHAA when haHAA his haHAA emote haHAA is haHAA free haHAA
twitch chat
January 2017
Bjergsen
Text-to-Speech Playing