[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

You need a high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics

twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics. The intricacies of combat are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Kenjutsu most of the fights will leave those unprepared, dead and frustrated. There’s also the stealth aspects, which are deftly woven into the gameplay - this tactical approach draws heavily from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depth of the gameplay.
twitch chat
June 2019

Teamfight Tactics

hackermans

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣵⣾⣿⣿⡶⠦⠭⢁⠩⢭⣭⣵⣶⣶⡬⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠩⠶⠚⠻⠟⠳⢶⣮⢫⣥⠶⠒⠒⠒⠒⠆⠐⠒ ⠄⢠⣾⢇⣿⣿⣶⣦⢠⠰⡕⢤⠆⠄⠰⢠⢠⠄⠰⢠⠠⠄⡀⠄⢊⢯⠄⡅⠂⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠘⢼⠬⠆⠄⢘⠨⢐⠄⢘⠈⣼⡄⠄⠄⡢⡲⠄⠂⠠⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⣀⡁⠄⠘⠘⠘⢀⣠⣾⣿⢿⣦⣁⠙⠃⠄⠃⠐⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣶⣾⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣥⣬⣭⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣏⣙⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣍⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣩⣶⠄ ⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣙⠿⢿⣶⣶⣭⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠻⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⠁⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⢙⡻⠿⠿⣷⣤⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⣛⣛⠛⣡⣴⣿ ⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⣛⡑⡿⢻⢻⠲⢆⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⡴⢻⢋⠻⣟⠈⠿⠿ ⣿⡿⡿⣿⢷⢤⠄⡔⡘⣃⢃⢰⡦⡤⡤⢤⢤⢤⠒⠞⠳⢸⠃⡆⢸⠄⠟⠸⠛⢿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
November 2021

Pepe

Middle finger

....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\...
February 2021

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing