[Copypasta] which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Jared 10 years later...

twitchquotes: Ten years later, after retiring from Dignitas, Jared quit league, settled down, and found a girl he loved. Everything was going great until one night, after an incredibly romantic dinner, she dropped to her knees and proposed to Jared. As she opened the small box in her hands, Jared gasped when he saw the stone: two diamonds. His future wife leaned up next to his ear, slipped the ring on his finger, and whispered, "Don't be a p ussy."
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom. You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you. Humanity will punish you. supernatural beings will punish you. Space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
January 2022

Buff Doge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣤⠈⢿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⢸⣿⣷⠦⢀⣤⡚⠂⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⡾⠋⠀⢼⣥⡘⠃⣤⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⣤⣄⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠⡾⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⣰⣿⡗⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠤⠴⠲⣲⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⡟⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄ ⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠑⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠾⠛⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠲⠀⠠⠄⠠⠴⠟⠒⠂⢀⡈⠁⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠙⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠄⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠐⠂⠤⠀⠐⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⣿⣿⡇⠀⠞⠁⠂⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠠⠤⠀⠀⠀⡢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⣿⣿⡇⠀⠲⢮⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠤⠀⠄⠀⠀⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢡⠇⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡀⢹⣿⡇⠀⠓⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠒⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⠇⠀⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾ ⣿⣿⣦⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠙⠇⠸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠖⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⣀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢠⡆⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠿⠀⣼⡐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢠⢂⣿⣷⡇⢠⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⠀⣧⣤⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⢠⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇⠸⢄⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⢁⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⠣⠀⠴⠅⠀⡄⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣷⡄⣠⣤⣄⡀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣉⡿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣼⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠠⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⠀⣀⣤⣤⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021

WE DIDIN'T START THE KAPPA

twitchquotes: ヽ༼✿◕ل͜◕༽ノ WE DIDIN'T START THE KAPPA ヽ༼✿◕ل͜◕༽ノ IT WAS ALREADY SPREADING THE MOMENT WE GOT HERE ヽ༼✿◕ل͜◕༽ノ
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

TSM aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tribe of Silver Monkeys," is a team in Riot Games' Minor League that is often ridiculed for being washed-up and having an owner that looks like Wukong. It is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing