I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ.
Why OJ? Do you want to sound cool? Is it so much of a hustle to say orange juice? Do you abbreviate apple juice too? " Hey yeah, let me have some AJ?" - said by no one ever. I just think it sound annoying af.
Edit: I don't have any issues with abbreviations, except for OJ as orange juice. Sorry if I offended some of you with sensitive feelings.
I used to be a real ad
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My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)
At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.
Sneaky play more aggressive
twitchquotes:
Im fUcKiNg tIrEd oF SnEaKy nOt pLaYiNg mOrE AgGrEsSiVe aNd tRy tO CaRrY GaMeS, hE SuPpOsEd tO StEp tHe fUcK Up, He iS AdC AnD BeEn pLaYiNg gAmE OvEr 7 yEaRs, LeT'S FuCkInG Go, AtLeAsT TrY To cArRy aNd mAkE PlAyS LiKe dOuBlElIfT AnD WiLdTuRtLe, If yOu fUcK Up tHeN U FuCk uP, bUt dOnT PlAy tHeSe sHiT AdC'S AnD ShIt pOsItIoNiNg iN FiGhTs aNd jUsT LeT ThE GaMe cOmE To yOu, TaKe fUcKiNg oVeR AnD OwN YoUr rOlE AnD CuRrEnT GaMe, He's tUrNiNg iNtO JuSt aNoThEr aVeRaGe aDc aGaIn. My rAnT Is oVeR
twitch chat
Sneaky
League of Legends
SPAM THIS BANANA TO HELP MICHAEL SANTANA
twitchquotes:
SPAM 🍌 THIS 🍌 BANANA 🍌 TO 🍌 HELP 🍌 MICHAEL 🍌 SANTANA
twitch chat
imaqtpie
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
Navy Seal
Greggnog
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?