[Copypasta] This player doesn't even use a monitor

I've seen [insert player here] play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.
July 2022

CSGO

Valorant

I used to be a real ad
More CSGO Copypastas

This player is fantastic

twitchquotes: This [insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

CSGO

i'm an mibr fan

twitchquotes: 🤡 not so smart 🤡 cry when i can 🤡 you guessed it right 🤡 i'm an mibr fan 🤡
twitch chat
June 2020

CSGO

Inferno and cobblestone chickens

twitchquotes: I think inferno and cobblestone need to go. In these maps chickens are killed recklessly and without remorse. Chat keeps shouting 'PETA' but no action is taken. I think we need to take them out of the competitive map pool to put a stop to this slaughter and show we are serious.
twitch chat
April 2016
Summt1g

CSGO

Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno hates Jame

Its a me, receptionist Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno. I like to read my book in silence but mamma mia, i can not! There is man storming into quiet library every 10 minute with gun he say "He need his AWP next round" so he "is saving". Tell him, I will call police next time!!!!
May 2022

CSGO

Taco did we come back?

twitchquotes: Taco: "Actually, I remember one time we were playing against Virtus Pro, Nuke, and it was 15-5 to VP. We were playing as T. VP are CT. And Fallen said, guys if you think we are good, let's prove it now." Teammate: "Did you come back?" Taco: "Of course not. 16-5."
twitch chat
November 2019

CSGO

Text-to-Speech Playing