Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?"
THEY FUCK
I used to be a real ad
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I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car
So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off.
She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments
I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left.
I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out.
He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream.
I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump.
I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur.
Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
You don't let Perfect World organize next time
twitchquotes:
You are running Dota 2 Major. You let Perfect World organize because you think they can do it. Perfect World instantly shit on Shanghai major. Everyone lose their shit. You don't let Perfect World organize next time because you're not stupid.
You are running Dota 2 Major. You let Perfect World organize because you think they can do it. Perfect World instantly shit on Shanghai major. Everyone lose their shit. You don't let Perfect World organize next time because you're not stupid.
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Dota Major
Dota 2
I was banned for posting long paragraphs
twitchquotes:
Hi Trump I was banned for posting "long paragraphs" according to my 3rd grade english teacher a paragraph is 6 or more sentences and a long paragraph is over 9. I would like compensation for this bannerino i recieved from some of your le nazi mods. I think that this should recieve at least 420/69 points for my paper. Please no copy pasterilni linguini pleaserini.
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Trump
Hey TSM, thanks for paying for my free entertainment
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( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey T S M, thanks for paying for my free entertainment ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
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Kripp
Avatarmelon
twitchquotes:
Watermelon. Earthmelon. Firemelon. Airmelon. Long ago the four melon nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Firemelon Nation attacked. Only the Avatarmelon, master of all four elemelons, could stop them, but when the melon world needed him most, he vanished.
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Reynad