Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?"
THEY FUCK
I used to be a real ad
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Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon
twitchquotes:
Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon™. As many of you know, we have recently bought over "Twitch tv". Users must now buy 'Emotes' such as " 
", " 
" and " 
". If users proceed to use these emotes without buying and owning them, we will have to, not only remove the account of the user but also, shut down the stream we have evidence that is has been used in. Thank you, do not copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
", " " and " ". If users proceed to use these emotes without buying and owning them, we will have to, not only remove the account of the user but also, shut down the stream we have evidence that is has been used in. Thank you, do not copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
forsenWhip
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⣀⡠⠤⠄⠄⠐⠢⠤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠔⢉⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠄⠉⠲⣄⡀⠄⠄⠉⠛⠶⣦⣤⣌⣉⣙
⣿⣿⣿⣏⣀⡀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠐⡄⠙⢢⡀⠄⠢⡐⢨⡉⠛⢿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠳⣔⣝⠶⣄⠈⠲⣭⡓⢶⣿
⣿⣿⡏⢀⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⣿⡷⣌⠳⡀⠄⢻⣷⣿
⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⢷⣌⠂⠄⠻⣿
⣿⡏⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢹⣷⡹⣿⣶⣶⣿
⣿⠁⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣯⢻⣿⣿
⣏⣀⣁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠸⣿⣷⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿
⢁⣠⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⣼⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
"Just one more" Kripp muttered
twitchquotes:
"Just one more" Kripp muttered, as the sun slowly rose over the Canadian horizon. His forehead dripping with Vegan sweat, his eyes droopy with fatigue, Rania at the door with suitcases of her stuff and signed divorce papers, and Dex a mere pile of starved bones, Kripp once again clicked the Queue button with Ashka at the ready. "This time I'll get MVP for sure."
twitch chat
Kripp
Battlerite
It starts with a surge of adrenaline
twitchquotes:
It starts with a surge of adrenaline. Signals flood the nervous system. Pupils race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Then open. Now it’s up to you to decide what to do with it.
twitch chat
what do you say when you come? murk durgle
About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes