[Copypasta] 0-3 Hearthstone Arena Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the 0-3 Police, You're coming with us. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Harambe I'm coming

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan 🔫 HARAMBE I'M COMING FeelsGoodMan 🔫
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Harambe

Red sus. Red suuuus

Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! Skip! Vote blue! Blue was not an impostor. Among us in a nutshell hahahaha. What?! Youre still not laughing your ass off? I made SEVERAL funny references to Among Us and YOU STILL ARENT LAUGHING??!!! Bruh. Ya hear that? Wooooooosh. Whats woooosh? Oh, nothing. Just the sound of a joke flying over your head. Whats that? You think im annoying? Kinda sus, bro. Hahahaha! Anyway, yea, gotta go do tasks. Hahahaha!
October 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

You've gotten too popular too fast

twitchquotes: gachiGASM =/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿ monkaS You've gotten too popular too fast. There's only room for one emoticon in this chat
twitch chat
February 2017

Classic

Just taking my money for a walk

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲___[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5)̲̅$̲̅] Don't mind me subs, just taking my money for a walk
twitch chat
October 2018

Classic

plebs vs subs

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