[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I just screenshotted your NFT FAQ (Reddit)

I just screenshotted your NFT. You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below: # FAQ: ## Why did you screenshot my NFT? I'm not going to tell you. ## Did you screenshot anybody else's NFTs? You could say I am screenshotting everybody's NFTs, but in the case I am telling you that I screenshotted your NFT. ## How are you screenshotting my NFTs? I screenshot when you post them on your profile. ## What are you planning to do with my NFTs? Have them all. ## What do I do about you screenshotting my NFTs? There's nothing you can do. ## When are you going to stop screenshotting my NFTs? You cannot escape me. ## Do I call the police? No. The authorities will not help you. ## What are the consequences of you screenshotting my NFTs? Be aware. ## What if I am ok with you screenshotting my NFTs? I will make sure you’re not. If there are any more questions then please consult your NFT wallet by directly speaking to it. ## Summary: I am screenshotting your NFTs.
November 2021

I sexually identify as You

Hi, my name is whatever yours is and I sexually identify as you. I use I/me/myself pronouns. If you’re wondering β€œWon’t that get you confused with me?” you are a transphobic bigot because I clearly stated that I identify as, and therefore am, you. By saying that I can get confused with you, you are implying that I am not you, and denying that I’m you is transphobic because you are denying my gender identity, and also your own because I am you. If you are now wondering β€œDoesn’t that make you also a transphobe?” then I will answer. No, it does not. β€οΈπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ
January 2021

I sexually Identify as

Why is your cat at school today Kripp?

twitchquotes: The teacher asked Kripp, "Why is your cat at school today Kripp?" Kripp replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Kripp leaves for school today!'
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🀬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" πŸ€” and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„ But then the worse partπŸ˜‘ every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS πŸ˜† but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention πŸ˜―πŸ˜…πŸ€£ The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing