Hey, quandale Pringle here,
My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him.
My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
All hail Kripparrian of the House TSM
twitchquotes:
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Hear, hear. All hail Kripparrian of the House TSM, the First of His Name, The One With No Life, King of Wraeclast, Prince of the Docks, Papparrian of the First Men, Emperor of the Great Sarn Sea, Breaker of DeSync, and Father of Cattarian, RIP, First and Last of His Name. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
Kripp
copy: pastad
gamer head: on
knuckles: cracked
gaming goggles: on
arms: stretched
gamer girl pee: drinked
girlfriend: none
gay best friend: invited
wife: beaten
wife: cheated on
daughter: abandoned
child: destroyed
your mom: fucked
rockets: launched
funding: secured
anime: loved
Japan: nuked
HIV: positive
blood: donated
American genocide: denied
milf: hunted
milfs: lewded
babies: yeeted
emerald splash: deflated
society: segregated
Israel: destroyed
heroin: shot
milk: consumed
mother: donuted
father: robbed
identity: hidden
traitor: kakyoined
Italian drug trade: monopolized
masters: awaken
Caeser: killed
left wing: destroyed
lib: owned
hog: cranked
pants: shid
bottom: text
top: text
Hotel: Trivago
Hotel: Mario
Duke: Nukem
cer: armic
balls: crushed
balls: ligma
the imposter: sus
sussy: balls
Gucci: gang
Delivery: Digiorno
Peterbilt: gassed
Half: life
pog: gers
Vaporeon: cool 
edit: spelling
edit: spelling
100% reason to go for the face
twitchquotes:
10% luck, 20% skill, 15% slowly ranking uphill, 5% topdeck, 50% race or just 100% reason to go for the face 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
A full golden Hearthstone collection
twitchquotes:
Lieutenant General Octavian, we regret to inform you that the Chinese have successfully built a full golden Hearthstone collection before you with their superior economy and rng. You are hereby relieved of all duties pertaining to the hell we call Hearthstone...It's over, Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp
Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?
This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.