[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
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RIP the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i remember when seeing The Female Barbarian's Face in my Twitch TV Followers List made me happy inside to see the Kripparrian streaming, and see him farm endless hours of D3 or PoE, but now I just think of that succubus girlfriends he has and all the dogs barking and NAZIS shouting, RIP The Kripparrian ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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October 2014
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RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

if SINATRAA and my girl both drowning (valorant)

twitchquotes: if SINATRAA👽and my girl👧😍 both drowning 😱 👋 and I can only save one😤😬Catch me at the Ascent B site🚪🔴 with my boy on phoenix 🌈🕰
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June 2021
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i'm an mibr fan

twitchquotes: 🤡 not so smart 🤡 cry when i can 🤡 you guessed it right 🤡 i'm an mibr fan 🤡
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June 2020

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Double Social Credit Weekend

‼️ ATTENTION ALL GAMERS ‼️ 注意力 DOUBLE 2️⃣❎ SOCIAL CREDIT 社会信用 WEEKEND 周末 IN CHINA 中国 ❗STARTING NOW❗ START ⏯️ YOUR GRIND 研磨 ‼️NOW‼️ MAKE GLORIOUS LEADER 光荣的领袖 PROUD! ‼️ GLORY TO THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY 中共‼️
November 2021

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