[Copypasta] My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding?

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )
December 2021
Jerma985

Eggplants appear after every word

twitchquotes: Guys 🍆 I 🍆 Was 🍆 On 🍆 Pornhub 🍆 And 🍆 I 🍆 Clicked 🍆 On 🍆 A 🍆 Link 🍆 That 🍆 Said 🍆 Local 🍆 Milfs 🍆 In 🍆 My 🍆 Area 🍆 And 🍆 Now 🍆 Eggplants 🍆 Appear 🍆 After 🍆 Every 🍆 Word 🍆 . 🍆 What 🍆 Do 🍆 I 🍆 Do 🍆? 🍆
twitch chat
August 2019

Emoji Pasta

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I’m jacked to the mf’ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF’ER.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Female Amogus Crewmate v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠖⠛⠓⠲⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣏⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠋⠉⠀⠈⠉⠻⣄⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣉⠉⣉⢉⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠳⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡠⠴⢿⣿⠋⠉⣹⠻⢿⣿⣿⣤⣴⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠛⠀⠀⢹⡟⠻⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⣶⣤⣤⠀ ⢠⣿⣷⣿⣿⠟⣛⣇⠀⠀⠀⣈⡷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠈⠙⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠋⢁⣼⣏⣡⣤⣤⢐⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠙⠿⣿⣷⢤⣀⡀⢸⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⣄⠈⢡⣾⣉⡤⠚⣩⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣈⡙⠻⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠈⠻⣯⡴⠋⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣿⢶⣤⣿⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠙⢻⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠽⣿⣽⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⡿⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠿⠀⠈⠻⣷⣿⣿⡇⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡰⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing