Hey, quandale Pringle here,
My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him.
My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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The unluckiest human ever
twitchquotes:
BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
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Kripp
Don't pretend to be entitled to financial compensation...
Don't👏 pretend👏 to 👏be 👏entitled👏 to👏 financial👏 compensation👏 if 👏you 👏or👏 a👏 loved 👏one 👏hasn't👏 even 👏been 👏diagnosed👏 with 👏mesothelioma
LUL haHAA ariW
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⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⡗⢿⣶⣶⣤⣴⣾⠟⢠⡏⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠇⢶⣤⣀⡺⠿⠋⣠⡾⠄⠄⢤⣶⣤⣄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣷⡄⠄
⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣣⣿⣷⣌⡛⢿⣿⣾⡟⠁⢤⣤⣀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠙⢿⣷⠄
⠄⣼⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢭⣶⣇⠄⠻⣿⣧⡀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠙⠇
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⢸⣶⣍⢿⢧⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⡜⣿⣷⣴⣦⣀⠘⠄
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠸⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣈⣽⣿⣶⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠘⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠐⠙⠛⠛⣩⣵⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣶⣄⣤⣤⣐⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀