[Copypasta] Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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A casual player like yourself might get injured!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Mike Morhaime, President of Blizzard Entertainment here. I notice you're playing one of our older games. I have to warn you, the games we made in that era weren't casual-friendly. A casual player like yourself might get injured!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

China Salt Manufacturer and Casualarrian

twitchquotes: Hello Casualarrian, this is a your partner, china salt manufacturer talking to you. Yesterday i found a such a nice game named ＤＡＲＫ ＳＯＵＬＳ and i found it interesting. This is very casual game, as you like and i recommend you to try it out. This will make your stream views grow and our partnership will become ＷＥＬＬ ＭＥＴ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

I've always wanted to be an octopusserino

twitchquotes: ive always wanted to be an octopusserino but everytime i try to tell someone they make fun of me. well ive had it up to here. today is the day i put my tentacles down. im sick and tired of people telling me what i can and cant be. i will be getting surgery to split my legs like pasterinos so i can have tentacles if you copy and pasterino my story to mock me i swear i will ink all over your face!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Grand Widow Faerlina needs a new succubus

twitchquotes: Ｈｉ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｉｔ＇ｓ Ｇｒａｎｄ Ｗｉｄｏｗ Ｆａｅｒｌｉｎａ． Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ａ ｎｅｗ ｓｕｃｃｕｂｕｓ ｔｏ ｌｅａｄ ｍｙ ａｃｏｌｙｔｅｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｗａｓ ｗｏｎｄｅｒｉｎｇ ｉｆ Ｒａｎｉａ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｂｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｅｄ？ Ｉ ｈｅａｒｄ ｓｈｅ ｉｓ ａｎ ａｍａｚｉｎｇ ｓｕｃｃｕｂｕｓ． Ｔｈａｎｋｓ ｆｏｒ ａｓｋｉｎｇ！ Ｋｎｅｅｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｅ ｗｏｒｍｅｒｉｎｏ！
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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