I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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More Classic Copypastas
QT's stream ends, so does my life
twitchquotes:
ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\ qt's stream ends, so does my life ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\
ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\ qt's stream ends, so does my life ΜΏ' ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\
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imaqtpie
Classic
You have been visited by the KOMODO OF GOOD FORTUNE
twitchquotes:
xD LeL xD LeL xD IF YOU SEE THIS WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by the KOMODO OF GOOD FORTUNE. You will be blessed but only if you copy and paste this 3 times xD LeL xD LeL xD
xD LeL xD LeL xD IF YOU SEE THIS WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by the KOMODO OF GOOD FORTUNE. You will be blessed but only if you copy and paste this 3 times xD LeL xD LeL xD
twitch chat
Classic
Le fedora has arrived
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββleββfedoraβββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββhasββββarrivedββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
THE WRONG DONGERHOOD
twitchquotes:
ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩΝΒΊΰΌΌ ΒΊΩΝΒΊΰΌΌ ΒΊΩΝΒΊ ΰΌ½ΒΊΩΝΒΊ ΰΌ½ΒΊΩΝΒΊ ΰΌ½ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD ΰΌΌ ΒΊΩΝΒΊΰΌΌ ΒΊΩΝΒΊΰΌΌ ΒΊΩΝΒΊ ΰΌ½ΒΊΩΝΒΊ ΰΌ½ΒΊΩΝΒΊ ΰΌ½
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