I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
48 year man from somalia
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp Aryan, am 48 year man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england.. I selled my wife for internet connection for play "heart of stone" and i want to become the goodest player like you. I play with 400 ping on US server and i am rakn 17. pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME
twitchquotes:
๐๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐จ๐จ๐THIS IS A ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธALERT. INCOMING ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEME๐ธ ๐๐HEADING STRAIGHT ๐๐YOUR WAY. ๐๐๐๐PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐ง๐ง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธ ๐๐๐ .BUCKLE UPโฟโฟโฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐ฎ๐ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐ต๐ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐
๐
๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ฌDANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Classic
I awoke from my coma and muted the stream
twitchquotes:
I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
twitch chat
Classic
Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police
twitchquotes:
๐ข ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
๐ข ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
I'm done with this chat
twitchquotes:
That's it, I'm done. *** this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to *** Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be *** smarter discourse.
twitch chat