[Copypasta] I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Mic Muted

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
March 2015

Classic

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

twitchquotes: เผผ ใค อก อกยฐ อœ ส– อก อกยฐ เผฝใค Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector, renowned Psychiatrist based in Baltimore, Maryland. I have heard you are the saltiest man alive, I am intrigued by a man of your... tastes. I would like to invite you for... dinner. เผผ ใค อก อกยฐ อœ ส– อก อกยฐ เผฝใค
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: DatSheffy ๐Ÿ“ข ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ•๏ฝ“๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ˜๏ฝ”๏ผŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ‡๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ…๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ•๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ”๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ผŽ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing