[Copypasta] I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Just taking Reynad for a walk

twitchquotes: โ•ญ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)โ•ฏโ•ฒ_____ PJSalt Oh, don't mind me, just taking Reynad for a walk.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Classic

salty

Is that all you shitposting fucks can say?!

Is that all you shitposting fucks can say?!? Duurrhhlll... Based, based, cringe, cringe, based, based, cringe, cringe, cringe, based, cringe... I feel like I'm in a FUCKING asylum full of dementia-ridden old people that can do nothing but repeat the same FUCKING words on loop like a fucking broken record!!! Cringe cringe cringe cringe!!! Cringe, based, based! Onions? Onions, SNOYY!! Onions L O L onions! Cringe, BOOMER?? Le zoomer, I am BOOMER!!! No zoom zoom zoomies!! Zoomer going zoomies!! YnnnggGGHHAAHH I..FUCKING hate the internet so god DAMN much... FUCK! Shitposting, honest to...god...fucking hope your mother CHOKES on her own feces in hell you...COCK SUCKER. But oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh I know my post is CRINGE!! ISN'T IT??? Cringe, cringe, CRINGEY cringe, based, cringe, based, REDDIT?? CRINGE!! BASED? CRINGE!! ZOOM?? CRINGE!! ONIONS?? REDDIT, BASED....BASED!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
August 2021

Based

Classic

ASCENDED invisible spam

twitchquotes: ASCENDED invisible spam โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡โ€‡ โ€‡ โ€‡ PogChamp
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing