I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this โฅโฅโฅโฅโฅโฅ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of โฅโฅโฅโฅ!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"โฅโฅโฅโฅ you โฅโฅโฅโฅโฅโฅ!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian
twitchquotes:
Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
MONTHLY PLEB TEST
twitchquotes:
PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: โ amazW โ krippW โ trumpW โ btsLdW โ reynadW โ kolentoW โ bajW โ btsKotlW โ dewW โ emjaneW โ forsenW โ krippW โ mitchW โ singsingFcuk โ reckW โ sodaW โ btsGodzW โ merliniHappyMerlini โ taymooW โ rtzW โ admiralW โ envySwag โ sumailKappa โ btsMerliniW โ wtrWtR โ dagerDendi โ ppdSalt โ fearGASM โ singsingP โ fluffyW โ ratW โ Pleb test passed
twitch chat
Classic
Tanner from Highschool
twitchquotes:
So you're going by "loltyler1" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic..
twitch chat
Tyler1
Classic
Tanner from High School
That's some good shit right there
twitchquotes:
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ good shit goเฑฆิ sHit๐ thats โ some good๐๐shit right๐๐th ๐ ere๐๐๐ rightโthere โโif i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ ๐ฏ i say so ๐ฏ thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต แตสฐแตสณแต) mMMMMแทะ๐ฏ ๐๐ ๐ะO0ะเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะเฌ เฌ Ooooแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแต๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐Good shit
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