[Copypasta] Europe is the Eastern USA

twitchquotes: Europe was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode a horse across the Atlantic, he called it "Eastern USA" which was eventually abbreviated as just "EU"
twitch chat
March 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

I used to be a real ad
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Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

Troll face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Classic

Fuck You Chat

β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ ›β ›β ƒβ’Έβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β£Ώβ‘‡β „β£Όβ£Ώβ Ÿβ »β£Ώβ£†β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ’ β£Ύβ£Ώβ ‹β „β „ ⠄Ⓒ⣿⣷⣢⣢⠄Ⓒ⣿⑇⠄⠄⣿⑇⠄⣿⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β£€β£°β£Ώβ‘‡β „β’Ώβ£Ώβ£€β£ β£Ώβ‘Άβ „β£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ’Ήβ£Ώβ£†β „β „ β „β ˜β ›β ƒβ „β „β „β „β ˜β ›β ›β ›β ‹β „β „β ˆβ ›β ›β ›β ›β β „β ›β ›β „β „β ›β ›β ƒβ „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⒠⣀⑄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⒀⣠⣀⣄⑀⠄⒠⣀⑄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β’»β£Ώβ£„β£Όβ£Ώβ ƒβ£°β£Ώβ Ÿβ ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β’Έβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⑿⠁⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄Ⓒ⣿⑇Ⓒ⣿⑇⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⑇⠄⠄⠹⣿⣦⣀⣼⣿⠃⠄⣿⣷⣀⣴⣿⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ›β ƒβ „β „β „β ˆβ ›β ›β ‹β β „β „β ˆβ ™β ›β ›β ‰β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⒀⣠⣀⣀⣄⑀⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⑄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄ β „β „β£Ύβ£Ώβ ‹β ™β Ώβ —β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£€β£€β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β£Έβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£·β „β ›β ›β£Ώβ£Ώβ ›β ›β „β „ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠄⒠⣿⣏⣸⣿⑆⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β »β£Ώβ£¦β£΄β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β£Όβ£Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ‰β ‰β „β „β ‰β ‰β „β „β ‰β ‰β „β ‰β ‰β „β „β ˆβ ‰β β „β ‰β ‰β „β „β „β „
ascii art
June 2019

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

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