[Copypasta] Kripparrian was sitting in his room alone

twitchquotes: Kripparian was sitting in his room alone, masturbating to Huffer n***s as usual. Suddenly, the light of inspiration came across douche-bearded face. "Wh-what if I used the brofist? Just this once?" Awkwardly leaning himself over his desk, he propped up his elbow on the chair and then fell back into his fist. "Oh... what a top..." he had to stop himself as the fist dug deeper past his outer ring into the depths of his chilli-hole, a gentle squishing sound could be heard all the while. "-deeeeeeeeck~" he finally moaned, splattering Cattarian with stray e*******e.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a cage far too small for himself. Malnourished because of his "vegan" diet, his ribs are clearly visible through his coat. He barely has the energy to move, let alone enjoy life. Yet, he knows there's hope. He knows he could draw attention to himself, as he hears Kripp constantly talking to someone. In a single act of defiance, Dex barks to draw attention to his dire situation. "Quiet, Dex" is his only reply as Kripp ignores his pleas yet again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

I need the 2-3 police here right away

twitchquotes: β•°(”◕﹏◕”)぀ hello 2-3 police, i need you here right away, its an emergency β•°(”◕﹏◕”)぀
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Kripp play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go!

twitchquotes: Privyet, Komrade Kripp! Is your cousin Dmitri from Mother Russia! I am of hearing that you make much moneys by playing simplistic card game for toddlers and whining like little baby in front of thousands of simpletons! BLYAT! You should play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go! Already I am recruit by man with enormous forehead for professional team Tampon Storm and will be winning many tournaments, yes! Don't be a cyka, you capitalist pig, and stop crying like baby! Love, Dmitri.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing