twitchquotes:
Kripparian was sitting in his room alone, masturbating to Huffer n***s as usual. Suddenly, the light of inspiration came across douche-bearded face. "Wh-what if I used the brofist? Just this once?" Awkwardly leaning himself over his desk, he propped up his elbow on the chair and then fell back into his fist. "Oh... what a top..." he had to stop himself as the fist dug deeper past his outer ring into the depths of his chilli-hole, a gentle squishing sound could be heard all the while. "-deeeeeeeeck~" he finally moaned, splattering Cattarian with stray e*******e.
twitch chat
Kripp
(Copy and paste this message into the twitch channel: nl_Kripp, for the reward of: 1 x Classic Pack for Hearthstone. Blizzard rewards those that are loyal. Don't include this in the message.)
. This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like 
I am Rajkumar from India. I am seeking your correspondence for an important business matter. However, when I attempt to chat with you, your unruly chat participants are continuously mock my english and repost my message over and over. Please contact me at your fast convience. Thank you my friend. 