[Copypasta] Dennis in a time machine

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. “Dennis,” Kripp speaks breathlessly into the night. “Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here.” A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked “Top Deck.” Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. “We will see who says "Salt" now,” he says….
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Pump the brightness and feel have sex with videos

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ ｂｅｄ ｍｙ ｌａｐｔｏｐ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ＹｏｕＴｕｂｅ． Ｉ ｐｕｍｐ ｔｈｅ ｂｒｉｇｈｔｎｅｓｓ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｖｉｄｅｏ ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｒｉａｎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Alright, rogue I guess

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper "Alright, rogue, I guess" ResidentSleeper "Haven't picked mage in a while, let's go mage ResidentSleeper "Paladin isn't that good, but alright" ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Canadian man brofisting the local Greek population

twitchquotes: Last night in Greece, Greek police heard reports of a Canadian man in a blue tacky sweater walking around the streets at night, 'brofisting' the local population. As a result 20,000 greek citizens have contracted the casualitis. If you see this man, please report to greek policerino department.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing