[Copypasta] John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

I'm one with the kripp

twitchquotes: Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros", I know it's time. I full screen the stream and grab my vaseline. I apply a huge load onto my newly shaved butthole and rub it all around nice and even. And then, when kripp says "thanks, and welcome to the 5 dollar club", I place my butthole in front of the screen. It is in that moment, that kripp fists me. I moan with pleasure. I'm one with the kripp
twitch chat
August 2019
Kripp

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Hafu is jealous of Rania

twitchquotes: Ｋｒｉｐｐ！！！　Ｉ　ａｍ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｓａｄ　ａｎｄ　ｊｅａｌｏｕｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅ　ｌｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｔｈｉｓ　‘‘ｕｎｄｅｒｆｌｏｗｒ’’　ｈａｖｅ　ａｌｌ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｓａｌｔ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｎｉｇｈｔ，　ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｔａｌｋ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ　ａｇａｉｎ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｍａｄｅ　ｉｎ　ｃｈｉｎａ　ｗｉｆｅ　Ｈａｆｕ　♡♡♡　Ｐｌｚ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ｃｈｉｎｇ ｃｈｏｎｇ　ｐｉｎｇ　ｐｏｎｇ　ｎｉｐｎｏｎｇ ｃｈａｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｎｏｏｄｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｏｋ ｃｈｏｙ ｋｕｎｇ ｐａｏｒｉｎｏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Please say you're sorry

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am a 14 year old boy from Canada. I played you today in arena and I won, I was excited to beat a famous player like you! I opened your stream, and I felt bad because you said I played badly and won because of luck. Please say you're sorry or I'll never play Hearthstone again. Please no copy pasterino 10th graderino
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing