[Copypasta] Brazilian No. 1 Futbol Player Eduardo Pasterinho

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! Iᴛ ɪs I, Bʀᴀᴢɪʟɪᴀɴ Nᴏ. 1 ғᴜᴛʙᴏʟ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ Eᴅᴜᴀʀᴅᴏ Pᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ. Aғᴛᴇʀ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ɢᴏᴛ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ Gᴇʀᴍᴀɴ ᴛʀʏʜᴀʀᴅs, I ғᴇᴀʀ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙ. Pʟs ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙʏ ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ ᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍʏ sᴀʟᴀʀʏ. Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Dex is Kripp's opponent

twitchquotes: "My apologies" Kripp's opponent emotes as he casts fireball on Kripp, ending Kripps arena run. "That guy was so lucky! He curved out every turn, had every answer and topdecked lethal!" Kripp sighs and loads up another arena run. His opponent closes his laptop and thinks "What a scrub. And now for the cherry on top" as his opponent walks out from the other room goes up to Kripp and licks Kripp's arm. "Good doggie" Kripp says "Here's a treat for a good doggie".
twitch chat
October 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Octavian Morosan. I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA. Recent reports say that you are playing a children's card game and spilling PJSalt everywhere. The PJSalt is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

Kripp please pet your cat

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, Leon Tidewellow here, CEO of PETA. My sources tell me that you haven't pet your cat in over 3 years, and thats a little too long. I'll give you 5 minutes, if you don't pet the cat then you WILL be brofisted. Have a nice day!.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's streaming checklist

twitchquotes: *stretch* ☑ "mmmm kay" ☑ "yeah alright" ☑ "fuckin A" ☑ "if he drew anything else I would've won" ☑ "how's this guy SO LUCKY?" ☑ "TOPDECK FLAMESTRIKE, YEAP" ☑ "topdeck into topdeck into topdeck, yeah that's how you get 12 wins guys" ☑
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp
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