[Copypasta] Born perfectly to explore dank memes

twitchquotes: Born too late to explore the Earth, born too early to explore the universe, born perfectly to explore dank memes ◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕
twitch chat
January 2015

Classic

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More Classic Copypastas

when were you when john lenin dies

twitchquotes: apology for poor english. when were you when john lenin dies? i was sat at home eating smegma butter when pjotr ring. ‘john is kill’ ‘no’
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Singlee and ready to Minglee

twitchquotes: MingLee SINGLEE MingLee AND MingLee READY MingLee TO MingLee MINGLEE MingLee
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

bbz will u luv me 4evr

gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode. she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr" he said "NO.." ... da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine. boy was cryin and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr) xxx~*...LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVRY TIME...~*xxx
March 2021

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ░▄███████▀▀▀▀▀▀███████▄ ░▐████▀▒DIDDLY▒▒▒▒▀██████▄ ░███▀▒▒▒▒SPAMLY▒▒▒▒▒▀█████ ░▐██▒▒▒▒▒▒DOODLY▒▒▒▒▒▒████▌ ░▐█▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒████▌ ░░█▒▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▒▒▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▒▐███▌ ░░░▐░░░▄▄░░▌▐░░░▄▄░░▌▐███▌ ░▄▀▌░░░▀▀░░▌▐░░░▀▀░░▌▒▀▒█▌ ░▌▒▀▄░░░░▄▀▒▒▀▄░░░▄▀▒▒▄▀▒▌ ░▀▄▐▒▀▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ░░░▀▌▒▄██▄▄▄▄████▄▒▒▒▒█▀ ░░░░▄██████████████▒▒▐▌ ░░░▀███▀▀████▀█████▀▒▌ ░░░░░▌▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░▌▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐
September 2016

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing