twitchquotes:
ヽ༼ ͠ ͠°〜 ͜ʖ〜 ͠ ͠° ༽ﾉ¤=[———— Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya. You killed my Kappa. Prepare to die.
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I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
Classic
When spam, my text automatically go to the smallest size
twitchquotes:
ʷʰᵉᶰ ˢᵖᵃᵐ, ᵐʸ ᵗᵉˣᵗ ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵐᵃᵗᶦᶜᵃᶫᶫʸ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫᵉˢᵗ ˢᶦᶻᵉ⋅ ᶦ ᶜᵃᶰ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᶦᶻᵉ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᵖᵉʳ ᵖᶦˣᵉᶫ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᶰᶜʳᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦᶠᶠᶦᶜᵘᶫᵗʸ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᶜᵃᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ ᶠʳᵘˢᵗʳᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᶦᵉʷᵉʳ⋅ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᵘᵐ ᵉᶠᶠᶦᶜᶦᵉᶰᶜʸ
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Classic
FitnessGram Pacer Test
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Classic
Naughty fun
guys why when a woman gets a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating ***, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, hes called a pervert?
Classic
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch 🚀🚀🚀
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good ‘ol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies 🚀
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out 🚀🚀🚀
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.