[Copypasta] I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
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May 2016

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

I just downvoted your comment FAQ (Reddit)

I just downvoted your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: β€’ ⁠Rudeness towards other Redditors, β€’ ⁠Spreading incorrect information, β€’ ⁠Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
March 2021

Classic

Reddit

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: βœ“ amazW βœ“ krippW βœ“ trumpW βœ“ btsLdW βœ“ reynadW βœ“ kolentoW βœ“ bajW βœ“ btsKotlW βœ“ dewW βœ“ emjaneW βœ“ forsenW βœ“ krippW βœ“ mitchW βœ“ singsingFcuk βœ“ reckW βœ“ sodaW βœ“ btsGodzW βœ“ merliniHappyMerlini βœ“ taymooW βœ“ rtzW βœ“ admiralW βœ“ envySwag βœ“ sumailKappa βœ“ btsMerliniW βœ“ wtrWtR βœ“ dagerDendi βœ“ ppdSalt βœ“ fearGASM βœ“ singsingP βœ“ fluffyW βœ“ ratW βœ“ Pleb test passed
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April 2016

Classic

Harambe I'm coming

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan πŸ”« HARAMBE I'M COMING FeelsGoodMan πŸ”«
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August 2016

Classic

Harambe

HOTLINE MING

twitchquotes: MingLee I MingLee KNOW MingLee WHEN MingLee THAT MingLee HOTLINE MingLee MING MingLee THAT MingLee CAN MingLee ONLY MingLee MING MingLee ONE MingLee LEE MingLee YOU MingLee USED MingLee TO MingLee MingLee CALL MingLee ME MingLee ON MingLee MY MingLee CELLPHONE MingLee
twitch chat
November 2015

Classic

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing