[Copypasta] The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text

twitchquotes: I'm sure Kripp just thinks this is just a wall of text. He will just skip over this as just another "copy pasta" I bet. This message is very important and I am triggered that Kripp will just skip over it. Copy paste this message to make Kripp read this meaningful message
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

A casual player like yourself might get injured!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Mike Morhaime, President of Blizzard Entertainment here. I notice you're playing one of our older games. I have to warn you, the games we made in that era weren't casual-friendly. A casual player like yourself might get injured!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

When Kripp stream Prismata, all becoming well slept

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｋｒｉｐｐ ｓｔｒｅａｍ Ｐｒｉｓｍａｔａ，ｍｙ ｅｙｅ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｈｅ ｂｅｄ． ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅａｍ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｌｅｅｐ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｂｅｄ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｗｅｌｌ ｓｌｅｐｔ.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
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