[Copypasta] The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife

twitchquotes: A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife, he stumbled across an old woman in an alleyway after buying some lentil soup. She told Kripp to give him the soup and in return he would find a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, Kripp didnt realize the old woman was the succubus Raina, who would eventually make him a simple casualarrians
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Hello everyone. I am a twitch user

twitchquotes: Hello everyone. I am a twitch user. My job is to seek attention from others to fill my lack of intelligence, therefore spamming spoilers is one tool of many to help me achieve my goal. I know i'm not worth much in life so i drag other people down by pissing them off . No copyrino stupidcino SMOrc
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

7 Flamestrikes

twitchquotes: Wait a minute . . . 7 Flamestrikes . . . Thats 49 mana . . . There's 49 confirmed illuminati members . . . This guy . . . He's illuminati . . .
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Dennis

twitchquotes: when dennis smite, my eye automatically go to the hero health. i watch the hero health and feel i have sex with the 2 skipped turn. all becoming sudoku
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing