twitchquotes:
10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 find out how old is your waifu ⎝ 
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I used to be a real ad
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Sneaky goes 8th in TFT 8 times in a row
twitchquotes:
After going 8th 8 times in a row, "Patient 8" hits his head on the wall 8 times in quick succession. The patient only communicates to his "chat"; a bunch of random sentences strung together to find out what will make the patient communicate. The word "Meteos" seems to trigger some sort of erotic response in the patient.
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Sneaky
Teamfight Tactics
She sells sea shells on the sea shore
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island
Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment
If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property
Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
"Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand
Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself?
She sells seashells, sell oil as well
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks
Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes
Then run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great
Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours
Step out on a stage to a round of applause
You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore
I(21M) am convinced that my(20F) wife's pet rabbit thinks my wife is his mate, it is ruining our marriage
It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her.
The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife.
When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18.
We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything.
When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner.
We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her.
It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet.
Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love.
But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite.
I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me.
I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it.
We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?
Don't even try to compare Xqc to Forsen
twitchquotes:
Don't even try to compare Xqcow to frozen. Xqcow is god, frozen is dog. Xqcow is smart, frozen is a wet shart. Xqcow makes Poggers plays, frozen is a glorified sleep aid. Xqcow is the juicer, frozen is a fruit. Capiche kiddo?
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Forsen
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."